warta Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 Demisexuals 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? Or is the act with someone u dnt connect with repulsive and unwanted? 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 1. I wouldn't and couldn't have casual sex with someone or sex without a connection. Both unwanted and repulsed by it. 2. I'd say rarely, I normally have a desire to feel good but have no desire for partnered sex so Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 1 hour ago, warta said: 1. can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection ? No. I can have sex but it doesn't mean anything to me. 1 hour ago, warta said: 2. Do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship (like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation)? Yes, I do but it's not as good as when being with my significant other. Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 1) I personally can't even imagine wanting sex without an emotional connection 2) not really Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 2 hours ago, Mae__ said: 1. I wouldn't and couldn't have casual sex with someone or sex without a connection. Both unwanted and repulsed by it. 2. I'd say rarely, I normally have a desire to feel good but have no desire for partnered sex so I didn t understand what u meant by 2?? What i meant is that when ur single do you desire for example penetration Or some kind of touch ,not with someone just the act.?? For example when ur single ...u are aroused and want to do some sexual act not partnered or anything... Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 38 minutes ago, warta said: I didn t understand what u meant by 2?? What i meant is that when ur single do you desire for example penetration Or some kind of touch ,not with someone just the act.?? For example when ur single ...u are aroused and want to do some sexual act not partnered or anything... Ahh I see, I meant I do but only sometimes basically if that makes sense? Idk it makes sense in my head haha Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 20 minutes ago, Mae__ said: Ahh I see, I meant I do but only sometimes basically if that makes sense? Idk it makes sense in my head haha I understood that you mean it happens but not frequently 1 time per month or so right? And what do you do in this case u fantisize about doing that act but not with someone. You fantisize about the act itself.. Sry but im really curious about such things and thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 1 hour ago, warta said: I understood that you mean it happens but not frequently 1 time per month or so right? And what do you do in this case u fantisize about doing that act but not with someone. You fantisize about the act itself.. Sry but im really curious about such things and thanks Nothing wrong with being curious! But yeah maybe a few times every now and then but this... 'u fantasize about doing that act but not with someone' pretty much sums it up. Although I imagine it may differ from person to person! Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 43 minutes ago, Mae__ said: Nothing wrong with being curious! But yeah maybe a few times every now and then but this... 'u fantasize about doing that act but not with someone' pretty much sums it up. Although I imagine it may differ from person to person! U have been more than helpful honestly U dnt know how much ...really Just one more question if i may What do you feel about sex jokes? Are they sometimes funny? Or do you have some problem with them ,i heard some demis do Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 25 minutes ago, warta said: U have been more than helpful honestly U dnt know how much ...really Just one more question if i may What do you feel about sex jokes? Are they sometimes funny? Or do you have some problem with them ,i heard some demis do I'm glad For me, they don't bother me at all and I'll normally join in on the humour! Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Mae__ said: I'm glad For me, they don't bother me at all and I'll normally join in on the humour! Mae thank you very much May your help be rewarded😊😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Sorcerer Midnight Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Long-time lurker, new poster, here. 1. Casual sex is impossible for me. I can't be imagine being with someone I do not have a close bond with. I could perhaps be friends-with-benefits with someone, but I need at least a tight friendship before I can manage to be attracted to someone sexually. 2. This is tricky. That is to say, I have a decent libido and a few fantasies, but I don't act on them because I am not attracted to anyone outside of a close relationship. Without that bond, I have no attraction whatsoever to any given man, so my desires don't usually rear their heads until I'm aroused. At which point I take matters into my own hands. So I have a desire for partnered sex, but only with someone with whom I share a very close bond. Outside of this bond, no, I have no desire for sex. I may become aroused, and I may deal with that, while imagining partnered sex. But only insofar as partnered sex with a very close bond, which is my condition. To clarify: I do have a nebulous desire for partnered sex when aroused, but only with someone I have a close bond to. Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 6 hours ago, Mae__ said: I'm glad For me, they don't bother me at all and I'll normally join in on the humour! More questions popped up 1-when you are connected to someone,do you enjoy all kind of sexual acts with him Or should the sexual acts include romance so you can enjoy? 2-the connection with someone that makes you sexually attracted to him, Could be with close friend that you have no romantic feelings towards him? Or should it be love based( i mean someone you are in a relationship with)? Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Mae 🌼 Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 8 hours ago, warta said: More questions popped up 1-when you are connected to someone,do you enjoy all kind of sexual acts with him Or should the sexual acts include romance so you can enjoy? 2-the connection with someone that makes you sexually attracted to him, Could be with close friend that you have no romantic feelings towards him? Or should it be love based( i mean someone you are in a relationship with)? Thanks again No problem haha 1. I'm aromantic so there wouldn't need nor would I want romance to enjoy sex, I imagine it'd be 50/50 sometimes I'd probably enjoy the sexual acts and sometimes I probably wouldn't hold any interest at all. 2. Again since I'm aromantic it would not be based off of love but a very close platonic connection if that makes sense Link to post Share on other sites
warta Posted March 28, 2018 Author Share Posted March 28, 2018 1 hour ago, Mae__ said: No problem haha 1. I'm aromantic so there wouldn't need nor would I want romance to enjoy sex, I imagine it'd be 50/50 sometimes I'd probably enjoy the sexual acts and sometimes I probably wouldn't hold any interest at all. 2. Again since I'm aromantic it would not be based off of love but a very close platonic connection if that makes sense Thanks again😊 Link to post Share on other sites
RedOwl5 Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 For me, I enjoy some sexual aspects when I am connected emotionally/romantically to someone, but it takes me a long time to be comfortable with the person. Romance is actually very important for me, and there needs to be an aspect of romance for me to enjoy any sexual activity. However, the person I am sexually/romantically attracted to usually starts as a friend and nothing more, but as I grow closer to them I begin to experience feelings of romantic attraction. If the relationship does become romantic, I then begin to slowly experience sexual attraction. But as you can see from other posters, different types of demis have different experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Imaginaryhero3 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 1. I couldn't be intimate with someone if I didn't have a very close relationship with them. If I know them really well I might end up developing feelings for them. I've only ever had a one-night stand/friends with benefits situation. I was best friends with the person and became sexually attracted to them. 2. When not in a relationship I am more interested in the feeling good/orgasm and release. Which I can do by myself. I feel grossed out by even imagining having sex with someone I'm not close to. I might imagine the feeling of penetration with a partner, but when im not with someone i do not search out someone to do this to me. I do admit though that when I'm pleasuring myself I sometimes fantasize about people who I am very very close to. That's probably really wrong... But those close to me sometimes pop in my head randomly. I don't really understand the other questions but wanna help. Can you explain what you want to know? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatSierraPerson Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 I can't wrap my head around anyone wanting to have sex with someone who isn't one of their closest friends. Why would someone do the most intimate thing possible, make themselves as vulnerable as humanly possible, to someone they don't deeply love? I get that lots of people want sex with anyone who looks remotely attractive, but I Just can't wrap my head around why. I've never had sex, so I can't speak for desiring the feeling, but it all sounds kinda gross to me. I'd maybe do it once, with a close female friend who's willing to try it with me, as an experiment, and never do it again. I'm not sure I'd get past the first thrust (*gag*). In answer to the final part of your question, I for one don't desire sex, but do have a libido and enjoy masturbation. Hope this answers your questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 31, 2018 Share Posted March 31, 2018 I don't use demi as a label but I can Only have sexual interactions with someone i am very bonded to and trust. And I have never desired it outside my current relationship. And its very easy for me to lose this attraction ... I have been struggling to keep it, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
noparlpf Posted April 3, 2018 Share Posted April 3, 2018 Casual sex would be pretty much impossible for me. The thought of having sex with somebody I'm not interested in romantically is pretty gross. (Although to be honest I'm not 100% sure I could have sex with a romantic partner either; it's all pretty hypothetical. Not that I'm particularly likely to find out since my sexuality only functions for a couple months once every fourth winter, so finding a romantic partner in the first place would have to be some kind of fluke.) I don't have any specific desire for sex since a. I've never tried it, b. if I'm not currently romantically interested in somebody it doesn't usually occur to me to think about sex, and c. if I'm not currently romantically interested in somebody and something does make me think about sex, the vague concept of partnered sex not with a romantic partner is kind of a turn-off. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 4, 2018 Share Posted April 4, 2018 On 4/1/2018 at 2:37 AM, Serran said: I don't use demi as a label but I can Only have sexual interactions with someone i am very bonded to and trust. And I have never desired it outside my current relationship. I don't ID as demi either but have the same response as Serran. I couId never desire casuaI sex and can onIy want sexuaI interactions with someone I am deepIy bonded to (which happens extremeIy rareIy for me, onIy with one partner so far in aImost 30 years). Link to post Share on other sites
Naathys Posted April 4, 2018 Share Posted April 4, 2018 So I am actually in a casual sex 'relationship' with someone right now, it's relatively recent and the first time I've ever been able to manage it. I don't really know how to explain it. I'm not particularly sexually attracted to him, but we are so sexually compatible, that I seem to be able to focus just on the act. I haven't completely managed to wrap my head around it yet, but it's a lot of fun. Usually it takes quite a while and a lot of getting to know you before I even want to kiss someone, let alone have sex with them. Guess there are exceptions to every rule. I tend to be hypersexual within a relationship, and once I get out of one it's like my sex drive switch has been set to on, so I tend to really want sex for a while after that. Eventually, once I haven't had any for a while, I will go back to not particularly needing it and mostly crave romantic connection. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago, so I guess I was still in hyperdrive when I met him. Link to post Share on other sites
leahgracie Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 1. Casual sex is not something I would personally ever do, even though I have an extremely high sex drive. I think that it is a very intimate act and requires some level of understanding and affection that I don't think you can get from someone if you are just seen as a way for them to get off. 2. I think about sex A LOT and I do imagine certain sexual scenarios, but not necessarily with people per say. Or, if they are with people, they are people that I would never meet in real life. In that sense, I am attracted to their appearance but it would disgust me if I ever actually met them and they wanted to hook up without me truly bonding with them. The same goes for when I'm in a relationship: I will not even consider sex until we are very close. Link to post Share on other sites
huntgil Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 On 3/27/2018 at 9:07 AM, warta said: Demisexuals 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? Or is the act with someone u dnt connect with repulsive and unwanted? 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? I do not understand casual sex nor have I ever wanted it. Sex without a strong emotional connection just feels empty, I don't enjoy myself, and it really doesn't even feel good. I am very capable of doing the act but it isn't worth the effort. When that strong connection is there, I absolutely love 'bonding' with them. I have a normal libido and have desires like most people but even though I might want to have sex or try something new, I either imagine doing it with a person I have a sexual attraction to or done by myself. I have never had a crush, never had someone catch my eye or fantasized about sleeping with celebrity. Sex dreams are normally involve masterbation. Link to post Share on other sites
MLJ Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 On 3/27/2018 at 9:07 AM, warta said: Demisexuals 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? Or is the act with someone u dnt connect with repulsive and unwanted? On 3/27/2018 at 9:07 AM, warta said: 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? No, I have virtually no interest in sex period, whether in a relationship or not. I've gone through periods of feeling curious about sex, but that's about it. I've had sex before, but at best it was something I didn't mind doing. I can't ever remember particularly liking anything about it. I have had two instances where I had a strong emotional connection to someone and did feel a desire for a romantic and sexual connection. But in both cases, I wasn't ever involved with the person, so I don't know if I could have actually enjoyed any romantic or sexual activity if it happened. I think that if I met the right person and had the right emotional connection that I'd be capable of having a somewhat normal romantic/sexual relationship - but it's never happened before so I don't know for sure. To answer your first question, no I don't think I could enjoy casual sex because I just don't enjoy sex period. I think the only way I might be able to enjoy it is if I had the right kind of emotional connection with the person. Link to post Share on other sites
Dollyrose09 Posted January 6, 2019 Share Posted January 6, 2019 On 3/27/2018 at 10:07 AM, warta said: Demisexuals 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? Or is the act with someone u dnt connect with repulsive and unwanted? 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? 1. I've tried to consider casual sex but without an emotional connection it's hard to fathom desiring it 😂 Even in my last (& only) relationship when my ex wanted to hookup after breaking things off I felt nothing sex Wasn't even on my mind tbh because I no longer felt emotionally close to him anymore (it was an emotionally toxic relationship....rough times). Masturbation is fine with me lol 2. I miss kink play which doesn't need sex. I remember missing sex or the intimacy more like when I was in a relationship yet don't feel a desire now. It's a weird feeling 🤔 I hardly have a libido honestly unless I feel an emotional connection/attachment (reading smut in fanfics involving characters I'm attached to & making nsfw headcanons gets me heated). If certain fictional characters were real I'd likely be down but alas! 😂🤷🏼 Link to post Share on other sites
dragongirl7879 Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 On 3/27/2018 at 11:07 PM, warta said: Demisexuals 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? Or is the act with someone u dnt connect with repulsive and unwanted? 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? 1. I've never actually had sex, but the idea of having casual sex legitimately freaks me out, while the idea of having sex with someone I love and trust sounds really nice. But this is kind of theoretical... There have only been a few times that I became attracted enough to someone to think about sex with them. 2. I do have sexual desire/libido, but it's generally not connected to an actual person. It's just a physical craving, like wanting chocolate, and I can take care of it myself. But the idea of having casual sex to satisfy that craving is kind of like the idea of being force-fed chocolate by a total stranger. Not exactly an enjoyable experience.... Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy1016 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 On 3/27/2018 at 11:07 AM, warta said: 1- can you enjoy sex with someone without a connection(enjoy the act only not the person...), But u dn t feel sexual attraction towards him/her unless connected? 1 Somewhat, if I am not attracted to someone and not already aroused it's just weird annoying poking but if I am aroused before anything's initiated it's like better mastrabation. On 1/7/2019 at 5:59 AM, dragongirl7879 said: 2-do you have desire for sex generally even when not in a relationship(like desiring the feeling of penetration or any other sensation) But u dislike (disgusted or not interested)doing it with all people until you are close to someone? Yes, except in the context of kink. Link to post Share on other sites
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