Different Worlds

[Depressed1980]

I don’t understand this group and it’s frustrating. I asked my wife (discovered the asexuality after years of marriage and a child) if I could have purely sexual contact with someone else (I love my wife but I have sexual needs and told her that was the reason), and she acted like I’d cheated on her right then. If she’s not willing to do sexual tasks then why is she offended? 

I have been thinking about cheating for sexual contact but thought that asking for an open relationship would have been much more considerate. I’ve decided to go through with a divorce and move on. 

 

[vega57]

1 hour ago, Depressed1980 said:

I asked my wife...if I could have purely sexual contact with someone else...

 

If she’s not willing to do sexual tasks then why is she offended? 

You already answered your own question HERE:  

 

On 2/27/2018 at 9:17 PM, Depressed1980 said:

...in reality it’s opening for him(you!) meeting someone that he (you!) is compatible with emotionally and sexually. 

You already understand this, so why would you even ask the question?  

 

Of course she'd be pissed!  You basically want to have your cake and eat it, too.  You want her 'permission' for you to go out and have an affair, possibly falling in love with another woman, while staying married.  

 

Let me ask you a question.  Have you tried putting yourself in her shoes?  What if it was you who had enough sex with  your wife to produce a child, but you weren't crazy about sex, and your wife asked you if it was o.k. for her to have sex with another man...while continuing to live with you?  

 

Oh, and allow me to bring up something else.  You wrote this today:  

 

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I’ve decided to go through with a divorce and move on. 

 

But only a month ago, you wrote this:  

 

On 2/19/2018 at 5:51 PM, Depressed1980 said:

I know I’ll keep doing this because I love my wife and child and would never leave them.

You also said this:  

On 2/19/2018 at 6:01 PM, Depressed1980 said:

...I don’t think I could ask for anything open. 

And, here you are, a month later, and you DID ask for something open.  

 

 

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Has nothing to do with love ( I love her but I am in a downward spiral because she can’t show the physical love I feel is necessary). 

So, the first time you go looking for a sexual partner, are you going to be feelin' the "love" the first time the two of you have sex?  

 

 

[Purple Wanderer]

@vega57   We have a lawyer in the room!

 

 

Could just be that  they hit their limit you're allowed to change your mind.

 

Neither are nice but I'd rather be broken up with  than cheated or have a partner in an 'open' situation.