Jump to content

People who refer to sex as “making love” makes me cringe so much 😂


rainbowteacake

Recommended Posts

rainbowteacake

I understand it feels good to some people but I hate it so much when people try and make sex sound like something out a fairy tale. Using words like beautiful, magical, amazing to describe the act (not just the feeling of it) does I’m sorry just a little bit make me feel a slightly stomach sick. Taking a sh*t feels good and involves your genital area but people don’t describe that as beautiful? And the idea that it’s the biggest thing you can do to someone to show you love them? If that’s the case then why does prostitution and one night stands exist? 

*with regards from a sex repulsed ace*

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sex is enjoyed by different people for different reasons.  One-night stands and prostitution obviously involve sex as simply a physical act, not a total experience of enjoyment and bonding, as is implied in "making love".   You may be annoyed by the latter phrase because you haven't experienced it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.     

Link to post
Share on other sites

You can view sex as just a set of squishy damp motions.  You can view a symphony as a pattern of tones and harmonics produced in some order. Art is a set of areas of varying spectral reflectivity, or a piece of ordinary material like stone or wood shaped to inaccurately represent a human form. Poetry is just a set of words that do not very efficiently convey information. 

 

You are ACE and in that way as unable to really appreciate sex in the same way that a tone-deaf person might not be able to appreciate music.  That is fine - there is nothing wrong with your not wanting / appreciating sex, any more than there is nothing wrong with my disliking jazz.

 

As to the rest, people's interest and opinions of sex vary a lot. Many people have no interest in prostitutes because they want sex to mean more.  For some one-night-stands are just a way to get sex. For others it is a desire to feel love - with an irrational belief that this time it won't be a one-night-stand.   For many people sex, romance and love are all tightly intertwined in a way that they can't separate.   

 

Take the movie Titanic, considered by many to be romantic, and remove the sexual interest by making the two characters straight men.  It really doesn't seem that interesting without the sexual attraction. ( actually I never thought much of it anyway...)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a conversation with a friend once about this topic.

 

She raised an interesting point.

 

She said sex is just sex.

 

It's not making love.

 

Making love is all the things that lead to having sex, and all the things that come after sex.

 

That true building of intimacy of getting to know each other, and then having sex, and then building something from the experience could be described as making love.

 

I agree with her assessment.

Link to post
Share on other sites
56 minutes ago, rainbowteacake said:

I understand it feels good to some people but I hate it so much when people try and make sex sound like something out a fairy tale. Using words like beautiful, magical, amazing to describe the act (not just the feeling of it) does I’m sorry just a little bit make me feel a slightly stomach sick. Taking a sh*t feels good and involves your genital area but people don’t describe that as beautiful? And the idea that it’s the biggest thing you can do to someone to show you love them? If that’s the case then why does prostitution and one night stands exist? 

*with regards from a sex repulsed ace*

I worked as a prostitute in the past and believe me there is no love involved in that kind of sex. That's just sex done for the purpose of money. A one night stand is generally just done for the purpose of physical pleasure/comfort. 'Making love' refers to a different kind of sex where two people are deeply in love with each other and the sex makes them feel even closer in their love, and even enhances those feelings of love (and the love itself actually enhances the feeling of the sex.. sex when in love feels amaaaaaazing for many people, very different on an emotional and physical level than 'regular' sex with someone you're not in love with).

 

Anyway, that's why the term 'making love' exists, it's describing a specific kind of sexual intimacy which involves, well, love.

Link to post
Share on other sites
ScribalMarks

Defecating does not involve the genitals; the anus has no role in reproduction. I find the phrase 'making love' cheesy but it does not offend me. I can see why it is connected with love, it allows a person to receive and give much pleasure, and at a great cost. It makes you physically vulnerable ( the risk of disease / injury and pregnancy), necessitating a lot of trust between sexual partners,  which I think is beautiful. Something that has the potential to create another life is inherently beautiful to some other people.

Link to post
Share on other sites
rainbowteacake

Sorry if I offended anyone, or if I was insensitive sometimes when I’m expressing my repulsion I unfortunately can get a bit carried away :mellow:

Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, rainbowteacake said:

Sorry if I offended anyone, or if I was insensitive sometimes when I’m expressing my repulsion I unfortunately can get a bit carried away :mellow:

I don't think people were offended so much as just wanting to explain why a phrase like making love exists.. it's just trying to define a very specific type of sex :) I don't think anyone says "I'm going to make love to a prosititute" for example, but someone might say "I'm going to make love with my wife" (because sex with someone you love is very different from having sex with a stranger/prostitute!). Oh also, some people use the term just because it sounds politer than "having sex" or "f*cking" or whatever, I've heard it used like that before as well. I totally understand why some people don't like the term for whatever reason, but I personally think it describes the difference really well (having had sex without love and sex with love now - part of that was probably what made me stop IDing as ace!) :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
ScribalMarks

You're entitled to your opinion. I am not sex-repulsed but my lack of interest in sex isn't the result of hating or disliking it.  I am neutral on the subject, I guess.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Janus the Fox

Yeah with the "making love" statement, I king of jump to thinking everything else except sex.

 

For the anus and defecation topic... well... the anus has an optional role in pleasure, if into that of course, defecation can be pleasurable or painful, depends on the person.

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, rainbowteacake said:

Sorry if I offended anyone, or if I was insensitive sometimes when I’m expressing my repulsion I unfortunately can get a bit carried away :mellow:

I hope no one is offended.  Its fine for people to express how they feel about things as long as they understand that other people may have very different feelings. 

 

You and I feel differently about sex. I see that as completely fine as long as you believe me when I tell you how I feel, and I believe you when you tell me how you feel. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember a guy once referred to having sex with a partner as 'making love' and honestly, it was nice to hear. Seemed like he was a respectful, well brought up man and wouldn't view the lady as a piece of meat. Same with another guy, who I also happen to find to be really decent. Contrast that with another guy I knew who referred to it as 'fucking the girl'... yeah didn't really sit well with me. So I don't have anything against the expression 'making love', it's definitely better to hear a guy say 'making love' or 'having sex' when referring to doing it with his significant other, rather than expressions like 'fucking/banging/hitting' etc. That's just my 2 cents on it

"And the idea that it’s the biggest thing you can do to someone to show you love them" yeah I always find it really odd whenever people say this but I guess that's because I don't relate ahah. At the end of the day, I will respect their opinions but definitely do not agree that that's the best way to show you love someone :P To each their own! 

Link to post
Share on other sites

That’s how 99 of the population expresses love. Asexuals are going to have to accept others if they want accepted themselves. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa

@rainbowteacake, don't worry, you're completely entitled to your opinion, that's what makes the Ace community diverse and inclusive. No need to apologise on an Ace site!

(...coming from an ace who's had plenty sex and saw it just as a bodily function like sneezing, that had to be done as part of the deal in my marriage).:D:cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...