bring_back_eiffel_65 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Hi! So, I guess it's fair to tell you a bit about myself. I am here because... I am questioning. And I think I already know the answer, but I will call it questioning regardless. For most of my life, and honestly until a few months ago, I thought I was normal. And that's such an ambiguous and varied term, but I mean that I thought my thought process regarding sexuality and relationships aligned with the vast majority of the society I belong to. I guess I kind of thought that sexuality was this white lie we all told ourselves. Like seeing or reading a passionate scene in media was just universally accepted as sensationalism. It wasn't real, no one really felt that way. But it was the ideal, a goal to reach somehow. Having sex didn't feel good or right until you met that *one true love* and it would all fall in place. 99% of the time it is like a chore, a thing that is being done to check off a box on the list of things you do to have a healthy relationship, but truly and deeply, it wasn't something that anyone felt strongly about. I still can't imagine feeling that strongly about it. I think I'm starting to accept that, for me, that's not something that will happen. And for better or worse, it's not something that I want to happen. I guess the truth of the matter is that I absolutely crave a connection with someone... And that does not involve having a sexual relationship with that person. In fact, I'd honestly... Rather it didn't. And that feels right to me. I'm struggling with reconciling the fact that I know I've always felt this way, and the fact that others haven't. I thought I had it figured out. I don't think that I had. It's both terrifying and very freeing. I'm hoping to learn more about this community and more about myself. I'd love to hear from those of you who have had similar backgrounds to mine. Thank you for the welcome and for the support. Link to post Share on other sites
Platonic Underdog Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Welcome to Aven, have some cake 🍰🍰🍰 take your time and enjoy your time here 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
mak Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Hello and welcome to the AVEN community! This is a great place to learn and find others like you and hear their stories. Happy to have you here! Have some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Welcome! The struggle for connection is s that all people seek. I hope you can find some lf that connection here Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Welcome! You story sounds very similar to mine! I'm 34 and until I met an asexual friend last year, it never occurred to me that it was an option. I just assumed that I was bad at sex, or hadn't met the one, or just needed more practice. I was in a relationship once that I broke off because I never felt the urge to have sex with him and I thought it was my anxiety or something that I had to work through with a therapist to "get over". It was a weight off my shoulders to realize that maybe that wasn't the case and I didn't need to be fixed. It is difficult to shake that straight person mind set after living it for so long, especially when that's what everything around you tells you you should be. I hope this site helps. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk! Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
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