LRCareBear Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 So, it has been a long time since I have been on here and I cannot believe how many times I have gotten confused about what I am. Brief history: -Up until I was almost 20 I didnt care a thing about my orientation or relationships. -When I was 19 I inadvertantly ended up on AVEN and was like "Hey this sounds like me!" -I started to identify as a Heteromantic asexual because I wanted to be with a guy (I am a girl) and I had no desire to have sex. -Fast forward to me being 22 years old. I came to grips with the fact that I have always wanted to kiss a girl and started to say I am still a Heteromantic Ace, but I have Homoromantic tendencies. -Right before my 23rd Birthday I came out as a biromantic asexual and then realized it was deeper then that. I was experiencing serious sexual attraction toward women. -I started calling myself a Lesbian and even was with a woman in a sexual way. But I didn't like her, I was kind of talked into it. I enjoyed it, but there was no romantic attraction. -I went on a few dates with women, but never felt the romantic attraction I do with men. -Then one day about a year ago I realized that I just am not romantically attracted to women, only sexually. Whereas men I am romantically attracted to, but not sexually. So, now today I am about 27.5 and I am conflicted again on what I am. I have decided that eventhough I am sexually attracted to women, I don't desire to be with one. I desire very much to be in a romantic relationship with a man. I want to slow dance with him, create a family with him, cook meals for him and hug/kiss him. It is a heartwrenching desire. So, all that being said would you guys consider me a Gray-A or something else? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Wow that’s complicated, though not unheard of! I don’t know what I’d label myself in your situation and I wouldn’t be allowed to label you even if I wanted to. However, I think understanding yourself is always more important than having a short way of saying it. That is, knowing what you do and don’t want and being able to explain that is more important than having an exact label that you may need to explain anyway. Best wishes for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Yatagarasu Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 I'd call it "heteroromantic homosexual" since your sexual orientation may differ from your romantic one (I've even seen aromantic sexuals), but you're the one to fully define yourself. Best regards! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeanraffe Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Well it makes sense! Sexual and romantic attraction can be completely separate and you happen to have both swinging different ways. I mostly consider myself Grey Ace heteroromantic, but there has been the odd time where I've seen a woman on transit that I've noticed to be remarkably pretty (a complete stranger) and have wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with her. So maybe I'm bi romantic? Not sure. At the end of the day I suppose I can only give you the advice I'm giving myself which is, it can all be fluid so just see where this takes you. Say no to what doesn't feel right, and yes to what does. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 On 21.3.2018 at 12:12 AM, LRCareBear said: So, it has been a long time since I have been on here and I cannot believe how many times I have gotten confused about what I am. Brief history: -Up until I was almost 20 I didnt care a thing about my orientation or relationships. -When I was 19 I inadvertantly ended up on AVEN and was like "Hey this sounds like me!" -I started to identify as a Heteromantic asexual because I wanted to be with a guy (I am a girl) and I had no desire to have sex. -Fast forward to me being 22 years old. I came to grips with the fact that I have always wanted to kiss a girl and started to say I am still a Heteromantic Ace, but I have Homoromantic tendencies. -Right before my 23rd Birthday I came out as a biromantic asexual and then realized it was deeper then that. I was experiencing serious sexual attraction toward women. -I started calling myself a Lesbian and even was with a woman in a sexual way. But I didn't like her, I was kind of talked into it. I enjoyed it, but there was no romantic attraction. -I went on a few dates with women, but never felt the romantic attraction I do with men. -Then one day about a year ago I realized that I just am not romantically attracted to women, only sexually. Whereas men I am romantically attracted to, but not sexually. So, now today I am about 27.5 and I am conflicted again on what I am. I have decided that eventhough I am sexually attracted to women, I don't desire to be with one. I desire very much to be in a romantic relationship with a man. I want to slow dance with him, create a family with him, cook meals for him and hug/kiss him. It is a heartwrenching desire. So, all that being said would you guys consider me a Gray-A or something else? Thank you Hello and welcome! You could possibly be gray ace. It's all up to you after all. Being gray ace only just means to either: do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances Therefore it doesn't matter, if you're straight, bi or homoromantic. You can still be gray ace. I'm Gray-A homoflexible. I've always been exclusively attracted to the same gender, except for 1-2 times in my life but that just doesn't make me feel bi or straight yet since it happend totally unexpected. I never asked for it. So I'm primarily attracted to women while there seems to be a slight chance to experience romantic feelings for guys too, even if only once in a life time. Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 As @Yatagarasu mentioned, "heteroromantic homosexual" seems to be a technically correct description of your experiences, although it will not help much to explain yourself to someone you meet Given your conflicting romantic and sexual orientations, the gray area seems to be fitting. How does "gray sexual" sound to you, as opposed to "gray asexual"? Whichever, "gray" is basically another way of saying "it's complicated" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.