CuriosityStrikesAgain Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Hey there! I’m 18 going on 19 biromantic asexual here and Ive really only every had one real relationship, the other one was someone i met online and never met up with in person so I don’t really consider it a real one. Both were with girls. I’m currently single and I very much plan on staying that way for the foreseeable future. This is because no matter what when i get into a romantic relationship with someone I get anxious and uncomfortable even though I like them a lot. Some days I have a real longing to be with someone and other days the thought of it scares me. Right now I’m perfectly fine the way I am but I worry that in the future if I find someone I really like I wont be able to pursue a relationship with them. I don’t know, they just make me feel uneasy but at the same time I want one. I’m not completely sure I’m making sense but I don’t really know where else or how else to ask this. Maybe some background would help: I grew up with Christian parents, my dad is a really chill and love is love type of one but my mom is the very opposite. Unfortunately I was primarily raised by my mother and taught that anything other than heterosexuality is wrong. My sexuality used to bother me more than it does now but I think I’m mostly over it. The first girlfriend I had was the one I consider a real relationship, but it was still awkward. We met in math class in high school and held hands and gave each other gifts but I didn’t know how to behave in a relationship and neither did she so we just drifted apart. The online relationship had a lot more feelings involved I think i came as close to loving this girl as I was capable of. However the very long distance made me sad and insecure along with the mind games she would sometimes play on me. I met another person since then that I’ve liked but we mutually agreed not to start anything because we both weren’t in the place, then i found out she doesn’t think asexuals belong in the lgbt community and our friendship fell through. I’m not sure I can trust myself or another person in a future relationship and that scares me. Sorry for rambling I’m really lost. Link to post Share on other sites
AceEllis Posted March 21, 2018 Share Posted March 21, 2018 Hi there @CuriosityStrikesAgain! From what I've heard, it seems to me that you have nervousness and unease about romantic relationships because of the negative experiences you've had, like with your online girlfriend and your crush. Please don't give up on relationships because of these experiences, because there are tons of great, accepting girls out there. It may be hard to trust someone again, but you will be able to someday, after doing some healing. And when you do feel like dating again, remember that your past experiences are in the past and that not all relationships will turn out the same way. You can look back at your past experiences to motivate you to learn important relationship skills, like how to keep a relationship from drifting apart, and understand what you want in a girlfriend. I'm so sorry that your relationships haven't turned out the way you wanted. I hope that you can eventually find someone nice, and enjoy AVEN in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
CuriosityStrikesAgain Posted March 22, 2018 Author Share Posted March 22, 2018 @AceEllie Thank you for the response! You make good points, maybe I knew this subconsciously. Even so trust is hard for me and I hope I find someone as well. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.