haze-l Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Hello! Thank you for reading this. I'm a freshman in high school and I figured out that I'm a lesbian a couple of years ago. Now I'm not sure if I'm a homoromantic demisexual, or a homoromantic asexual. I'm scared that I'm too young to know yet, and that this is normal for my age, not caring/not liking/being grossed out by the thought of sex, or that it's not normal. I honestly don't know what normal is anymore. I've had a couple of crushes before (mostly after I've become friends with them). in fact, I like a girl right now (who likes me back), and the thought of cuddling and holding hands with her makes me feel warm inside, as well as kissing her (maybe). If I think of doing anything further than that, I push the thoughts away because they weird me out and seem kind of gross. I also dream about her sometimes, but it's always really innocent, like us holding hands or her kissing me. Obviously, that could just be because I'm young. I've never had any sexual thoughts/feelings for anyone, but I don't know if I'm supposed to. I also don't know how anyone can look at a picture of a celebrity and say "she/he's so hot, I'd make out with them, etc.". I do want to be in a romantic relationship, but I don't desire anything more than kissing/holding hands, I don't think. I suppose when I'm older, I could do sex, I guess, to make my partner happy. I wouldn't mind that, if it would make her happy. But it would have to be for someone I respect/love, who respects/loves me, someone who I trust with all my secrets and someone who trusts me with hers. Like an emotional connection, I guess. (But I'm afraid that no one will understand, if do turn out to be asexual and not demisexual, and I'll be alone forever). And as for dirty jokes, I do understand them and find them quite funny, most of the time. So... Does anyone know what sexual attraction is supposed to feel like? Am I too young to be sexually attracted to anyone? Does it sound like I'm demisexual or asexual? I'm sure you've seen these questions thousands of times, so thank you if you reply. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Peoples sexual interests can still evolve will into their 20s, though for some people its fixed at a much younger age. Yours may change, or it may not. In a sense it really doesn't matter. Do what makes you happy. If that changes, that's fine, and if it doesn't that's fine. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 If you've never experienced any sexual attraction, you can call yourself asexual. Being willing to have sex to make a partner happy doesn't mean you're not asexual, and neither does enjoying dirty jokes. If your feelings change over time, and you feel demisexual or another term fits better, that's perfectly fine. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RavenKey666 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 It really depends on the person. I'm 16 and I'm sure that I'm asexual now and was questioning for a year previously - haven't worked out what my romantic orientation is yet though. Like the other said above if you feel asexual now but don't when your older then it's up to you to change what you call yourself - remember labels like asexual and lesbian are just words, it's how you feel that's important. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
arden_jay Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Identities can change over time thanks to new experiences, choices, or better understanding of yourself. It's okay to question. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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