Jump to content

Feeling dread in a new relationship??


Eva Blue

Recommended Posts

Today, I got in a relationship with my long-time crush. Why do I feel this way?

 

We are both asexual to some degree, and she said yes to dating. I just want to know why I started to feel like I made a mistake. We held hands, we hugged goodbye, but I still felt a tight squeezing in my chest and now I'm super confused.

 

Is it because I'm her first romantic partner? Is it because she's my first girl? because she's a bit younger than me? Is it because she's moving away in 3 months? because we don't mesh well? Or because my past boyfriends made me feel really guilty throughout the relationship? Or maybe I've been confusing my feelings. I really don't know.

 

I just would like to know if this feeling is normal, and what I should do. Please help. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Eva Blue said:

Or because my past boyfriends made me feel really guilty throughout the relationship?

I suck at giving advice, but from a psychological point of view, that might be the case. Unfortunately, human brain is evolutionarily wired towards remembering past negative memories, because it had helped avoiding making similar mistakes long long ago. 

But that's my perspective and you'll most likely get a better response from more romantically experienced people (:3 _ )=

Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, Eva Blue said:

Is it because I'm her first romantic partner? Is it because she's my first girl? because she's a bit younger than me? Is it because she's moving away in 3 months? because we don't mesh well? Or because my past boyfriends made me feel really guilty throughout the relationship? Or maybe I've been confusing my feelings. I really don't know.

It could be any or all of these things adding up to discomfort and dread. Like what @Yatagarasu said, you could remembering past negative experiences that are making you uncomfortable with having a relationship. You may also feel nervous about dating a girl for the first time, especially if you're not out of the closet yet. 

 

Another thing to think about is that you may be akioromantic/ lithromantic, which means that you experience romantic attraction until it is reciprocated. 

 

On 3/18/2018 at 4:19 PM, Eva Blue said:

I just would like to know if this feeling is normal, and what I should do. Please help. 

The best thing to do is explore your feelings and try to get to the root of your dread. Remind yourself that just because past relationships didn't work out, this one isn't destined to not to work out. Think of why you liked her in the first place and hopefully that will help you to feel positive about the situation.

 

And if you can't handle this feeling of dread and confusion, tell her. Say exactly what you've written here and end it.

 

I hope you can feel happy and comfortable with whatever direction you go.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...