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Sex & Nudity Repulsed


Parfait

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TL;DR at the bottom

 

CW: mentioning sex (nothing explicit), nudity, and sexual violence in a TV show as an example of further repulsed feelings (nothing explicit).

 

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Hello,

I am looking for people who feel similarly to me. I am *thee only person* I know who is not only sex repulsed, but ~very strictly nudity replused~ as well. And before you chime in that you are also nudity repulsed, let me clarify: I feel like I am the only person where any and all nudity is repulsive to me.

I don't like "artistic nudes" (or find them artistic at all), I don't like nude sketch drawings, photos of naked people, even if it's non-sexual.  I try searching for "nudity repulsed", "#nudityrepulsed" and never find anything.

However, I can search "sex repulsed" and find many support groups (and this website) but for myself, as far as being sex repulsed, this includes: anything lewd, sexual innuendos, or "jokes" with a sexual meaning behind them.

I don't watch any TV series, movies, cartoons/anime read any books/manga, play games etc. with nudity, sexual scenes or strong references, or perverted "jokes", or overly sexualized characters. I aIso cannot stand fiction that has sexual violence, like Game of Thrones for example, where there's dragons and giants but to make the world more "realistic", the show throws in gratuitous sexual violence (namely towards female characters). It's so off putting for me. I simply won't befriend people who are ok with sexual violence and sexually violent "jokes" as part of their entertainment. (And any other shows that rely on making sexual violence a plot device or a "joke". Family Guy, Rick and Morty, any similar shows like South Park, pretty much all HBO shows/trending shows, GoT, AHS. 

 

This does not include documentaries of/real life events of someone's trauma.)

 

*I am a trauma survivor, and know other trauma survivors who don't agree with me/use these shows to cope, I respect your choice and my choice to disagree.

 

I feel alone, like I am the only one who feels these specific combination of things. 

 

Other Asexual & Sex repulsed spaces I have shared in haven't had anyone else who feels the same (they don't mind "artistic nudes", or sexually violent shows like GoT, AHS, or shows that make sexual violence a "joke").

 

 

TL;DR I am nudity repulsed by any nudity, "artistic" or "sexual". Also sex repulsed by shows that make sexual jokes, references or use sexual violence a plot twist or "joke", and won't befriend those who enjoy those kinds of shows (except real life documents of real victims). Haven't met anyone who feels the same way about both issues.

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Hi,

  I am the same way. You also hear about and can find stuff like you said about sex repulsion but never about nudity repulsion. It completely puts me off the show or series as well. I think it is ridiculous that people still allow 'jokes' about sexual violence and millions of people turn in weekly to watch stuff like that. It disgusts me. I also do not understand the need for sex scenes especially just random ones thrown in, its gross. I also completely understand the importance of documentaries about real-life events, they tell us what happened such as history books and other non-fiction pieces. I hate shows that mock sexual violence or make it apart of their ratings grab, and cannot stand that people view it as okay because it is just a show or just a movie. I also feel grossed out by so called artistic pictures or paintings or whatevers. My parents always told me it would be just a phase nut here I am. I was truly so happy to read that someone else is nudity and sex repulsed too. I thought it was just some fluke that I was or somehow they were the same thing but neither seemed right to me. 

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I'm fully sex repulsed and also quite nudity repulsed, though maybe not to your extent.

 

I mean, I've learned to endure watching it on screen, even if it's a terrible chore for me. I watch mostly EVERYTHING, since I'm a film buff, and that means stumbling upon frequent nudity and sex. That doesn't mean I like it.

 

You've used Game of Thrones as an example. I do watch it, and I admire it for its narrative virtues, but whenever there's one of its frequent nudity scenes on screen, I feel terribly repulsed.

 

But I haven't had any trauma. It's just something I've disliked ever since I was a little child, and which I still detest completely.

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Galactic Turtle

I'm also nudity repulsed. I've never understood artistic nudity I just... never understood this fascination with skin and muscle. I hate even seeing myself in a mirror like that. I dress in a very conservative manner (only my hands and head show) as well. I'm a big fan of Korean pop music and the groups I like sometimes take off their shirts during performances. It's honestly really scary to me when they do that. For sex scenes on TV that's really what gets to me, it's the nudity. I just find exposed skin in general to be very repulsive so... on an average summer day unfortunately I find the people around me quite hideous to look at.

 

I'm also repulsed by sex but have been working on it in terms of accepting it as a thing that happens in life. I've worked on reading about it so stuck in that fantasy realm it's ok. Nothing visual though... because nudity. On top of nudity I have an extreme fear of genitalia even though I've never actually seen genitalia before. Also when speaking about real life sex to friends... like they want to talk about a sexual experience they had, I can't help but find it and them disgusting before recalibrating and telling myself "calm down Turtle this is normal and they're happy they had this experience so don't say something rude." I just really can't for the life of me understand why someone would volunteer to have sex aside from a stated obligation to continue the human race. Being handed that obligation seems like a punishment if anything. I find pregnant people to be quite hideous as well even though I know I shouldn't. 

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everywhere and nowhere

I'm neither sex-repulsed nor nudity-repulsed, but I'm both sex-averse and nudity-averse.

As for other people being naked... I certainly don't have any panic reactions or anything like that, but I prefer the beauty of clothed bodies. Especially when sexiness and skimpy clothes are so strongly entangled in socio-cultural and socio-political contexts... the belief that discomfort with nudity equals "repression" and that skimpy clothes are "liberating". I find it a bit shocking how skimpy have, for example, sport outfits become and I can't believe that there are no female athletes who find the idea of being almost-required to wear something like that outrageous.

However, I'm intensely uncomfortable with my own nudity. I dislike being naked generally, even when I'm alone. I hate when there is a large mirror right in front of the shower in hotels, for example. I avoid looking down when I'm naked (for example, about to take a shower). And, first of all, I feel like I just couldn't undress in another person's presence, regardless of that person's gender and kinship (it includes family members the same as strangers) - to the point that it does create obstacles in my life.

Example: when I was choosing my studies, I considered literature, philosophy and psychology. At that point compulsory military service for men was also abandoned in Poland, the army became fully professional. However, people with educational experience which is of interest to the military - that includes psychologists, also women - may be requested to come to a military commission, so that they are registered as potential reserve. I was never afraid of being sent to military training because it's not possible - my level of general health and fitness is such that I can say in advance that I would without doubt receive the category "incapable of military service". However, such commission includes undressing and I just could never do that. This was in fact the primary reason why I decided not to study psychology.

I'm also not just gyno-averse, I'm gyno-T E R R I F I E D. I literally feel like I would die if I underwent this kind of examination.

Honestly, I believe my discomfort with nudity is also the most important factor which makes me sex-averse. I don't think that it makes me less truly asexual - I genuinely don't desire any sexual contact with anyone. Still I believe that in my case asexuality can be described as a series of causes and effects:

chronically ill ---> nudity-averse ---> sex-averse ---> asexual

While my illness (first of all, rather severe allergy) causes me a lot of physical discomfort and even pain, I accept my feelings about sex and nudity. I wouldn't want them to be any different, I explicitly wouldn't want to desire sex with anyone. But it just is. It just looks like this. While I'm not exactly sex-repulsed or nudity-repulsed, in my case my negative feelings towards sex and nudity (or, more precisely - sex or nudity with relation to myself) are very strongly interconnected.

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I chringe, look away, fast forward sex scenes, I think exposed genitals are gross (they aren't pretty tho, I think it's just sexual attraction that makes people get over that feeling). However, I am a nurse and they do a good job of desensitizing you in school. 

I will say that being able to go to the doctors for health exams at some point is necessary, for example cancer screening. Most normal exams can be done without you changing out of clothes though. I've been traumatized too in the past which I won't discuss, however I just make sure to make an appointment with a female provider. Over the years I try to reuse the same provider so that I don't have to get used to a new person. And I let them know ahead of time that I've been traumatized and they know and have experience with dealing with that.

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everywhere and nowhere

Still I'm making the choice of accepting more risk to my health in order to protect my mental ability to survive.

I once read something on one of asexual blogs - Coyote's, I think? - which presented a really refreshing perspective on that. It didn't change my mind in any way because I always knew I have a right to refuse gyno visits (my mom has long stopped trying to persuade me), but I felt relieved that I finally found such an opinion. Everybody keeps saying: you must! you must, or you will die in pain and it will all be your fault! And the blog entry framed it as a kind of a cost-and-benefit analysis: if you feel that the psychological "cost" of forcing yourself to agree outweighs potential benefits, you have a right to choose not to force yourself.

An addition by my Ukrainian teacher: don't forget that extreme distress can contribute to development of diseases too... And for some people a gyno visit is not just "unpleasant", "embarassing", but something which feels worse than death.

Honestly, I feel like I'd rather abandon this topic. The very thought of such an examination is so extremely distressing for me... sex aversion is nothing compared to THAT.

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Neutral nerd
On 3/18/2018 at 4:50 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

I'm also nudity repulsed. I've never understood artistic nudity I just... never understood this fascination with skin and muscle. I hate even seeing myself in a mirror like that

This is the way I feel too. It's so disgusting and... organic, I guess? I'm disgusted by my female form, and don't see how people find the useless growths called "breasts" attractive of all things. I hate my body and avoid looking at it in the mirror, but occasionally make myself consider them in terms of eventually getting surgery to finally get rid of them. Until then I guess I'll try to deny the way my body is >.<

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everywhere and nowhere

For me, to be honest, fixing my bras did wonders.

I'm definitely a mild "case" in this respect because I have some breast dysphoria, but I identify as generally female anyway. I don't care about physical femininity, but femininity is very important for me as a political identity. Anyway, I definitely dislike my boobs. I'd like to have teenie weenie tiny breasts and they are on the large-ish side... far from huge, but way too big for my taste. I just explicitly don't want to be sexually attractive in any way.

I use very specific bras because they are more comfortable, last longer, have much cotton and don't scratch the skin as much as normal bras. They were designed to be used after chest surgeries and basically have a sport bra shape, but open in the front. (I would gladly use ordinary sport bras, but I can't get cotton ones and I'm allergic to synthetics.)

They had velcro fastening, which meant that I couldn't completely avoid looking at my boobs when doing up my bra. Over months, the velcro deteriorated and stopped holding, to the point that in case of two of eight bras I had to wear a binder on top just to keep the bra from opening. First I managed to order a few zippers - it wasn't easy because mass-produced short zippers don't open at the end (both sides are permanently connected at one end) and I needed zippers which open. Actually, the company was so kind to make a few zippers for free. Then I went to a seamstress nearby and I asked her to sew the zippers in place of the velcro and now it works great. I can't really close the bra when it's in place, so I started wearing it in its zipped and tight form - I only open the zipper in the evening when removing my bra. I couldn't do the same with the velcro because it wouldn't hold while moving the bra over my head and shoulders. So now I can wear my bra without seeing my boobs at all - and immediately my breast dysphoria got better. When I had to look at them a bit, I kept thinking about surgery, now I don't.

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On March 27, 2018 at 1:01 PM, Nowhere Girl said:

For me, to be honest, fixing my bras did wonders.

I'm definitely a mild "case" in this respect because I have some breast dysphoria, but I identify as generally female anyway. I don't care about physical femininity, but femininity is very important for me as a political identity. Anyway, I definitely dislike my boobs. I'd like to have teenie weenie tiny breasts and they are on the large-ish side... far from huge, but way too big for my taste. I just explicitly don't want to be sexually attractive in any way.

I use very specific bras because they are more comfortable, last longer, have much cotton and don't scratch the skin as much as normal bras. They were designed to be used after chest surgeries and basically have a sport bra shape, but open in the front. (I would gladly use ordinary sport bras, but I can't get cotton ones and I'm allergic to synthetics.)

They had velcro fastening, which meant that I couldn't completely avoid looking at my boobs when doing up my bra. Over months, the velcro deteriorated and stopped holding, to the point that in case of two of eight bras I had to wear a binder on top just to keep the bra from opening. First I managed to order a few zippers - it wasn't easy because mass-produced short zippers don't open at the end (both sides are permanently connected at one end) and I needed zippers which open. Actually, the company was so kind to make a few zippers for free. Then I went to a seamstress nearby and I asked her to sew the zippers in place of the velcro and now it works great. I can't really close the bra when it's in place, so I started wearing it in its zipped and tight form - I only open the zipper in the evening when removing my bra. I couldn't do the same with the velcro because it wouldn't hold while moving the bra over my head and shoulders. So now I can wear my bra without seeing my boobs at all - and immediately my breast dysphoria got better. When I had to look at them a bit, I kept thinking about surgery, now I don't.

What company do you get your bras from? I've been looking for a better bra that helps with dysphoria.

Regards,

Rosendust

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everywhere and nowhere

I can't find the bras at the producer's website anymore.

It's this model (caution: no English version):

Carefix Bianca

They also have a bra closed with a zipper (this is how I got the idea for the improvement). I didn't buy it in the first place because it's more expensive and I'm also not sure, at least from this website, how much cotton does it have.

Carefix Anna

I also found another zipper bra:

Zbra (site in English)

Unfortunately, it's probably not cotton, and for me the choice of all clothing is heavily limited by my allergy. I'm simply allergic to pretty much all synthetic and animal fibers and will only wear clothes which have as much cotton as possible. (Though, in case of shirts, 25% cotton, 75% linen is actually a very good blend. But linen is nowadays not used anyway in making underwear.)

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