Does anyone in the community make "hypothetical" sex fantasies?

[Vincisomething]

I often do this to my crushes (if I liked them for some while). I'm never attracted to them sexually in real life, but based on their mannerisms, posture, or body language, my brain makes assumptions of what they would be like sexually. Sometimes it's arousing, but it's never them I'm attracted to- it's the "action" itself. Is this relatable? Why does my brain do that? If I see them in real life, there is no sexual attraction at all.

[paperbackreader]

I'm a little confused by your description sorry... You seem to distinguish between your crushes and your crushes doing a certain thing. I guess it may help to know if you feel the same way if it is someone else doing the same certain thing? 

 

Edit scrap that. I don't know its all confusing to me haha good luck figuring it out!! 

[Lucy in the sky]

I do similar things sometimes too. I imagine kissing someone I like and picture us going further, but it doesn't feel authentic - not just because it's imaginary, but mainly because a part of me is like, "as if that's ever gonna happen!" I get zero arousal from it, no sexual attraction, and it feels funny...I don't get how some sexuals can masturbate while looking at someone's photo because to me it would be distracting (also I probably could never look at the person again without blushing).

 

As you say, there is something about the idea...

I always had a theory that this may be a way of imagining what our lives could be like if we weren't ace. It's basically creating a hypothetical scenario and putting yourself in a role, creating a character that could have a "traditional" relationship with someone you like. An alter ego, basically

[Vincisomething]

1 hour ago, paperbackreader said:

I'm a little confused by your description sorry... You seem to distinguish between your crushes and your crushes doing a certain thing. I guess it may help to know if you feel the same way if it is someone else doing the same certain thing? 

 

Edit scrap that. I don't know its all confusing to me haha good luck figuring it out!! 

I'm confused by that comment lol

[Vincisomething]

50 minutes ago, Lucy in the sky said:

I do similar things sometimes too. I imagine kissing someone I like and picture us going further, but it doesn't feel authentic - not just because it's imaginary, but mainly because a part of me is like, "as if that's ever gonna happen!" I get zero arousal from it, no sexual attraction, and it feels funny...I don't get how some sexuals can masturbate while looking at someone's photo because to me it would be distracting (also I probably could never look at the person again without blushing).

 

As you say, there is something about the idea...

I always had a theory that this may be a way of imagining what our lives could be like if we weren't ace. It's basically creating a hypothetical scenario and putting yourself in a role, creating a character that could have a "traditional" relationship with someone you like. An alter ego, basically

It is distracting! If I was looking at a picture of a crush, I get less aroused immediately. Lol, our allo alter ego

[GloriaA]

I don't generally since I hardly develop crushes nowadays. But when I was younger or when I'm forced to deal with other people for many hours at length I sometimes start to picture possible scenarios. Like "what if they fall in love with me? what if I suddenly find myself for the first time attracted to someone else? what if we have sex?". And then I usually and abruptly stop because even the idea of having sex starts to make me feel very uncomfortable.

I think that @Lucy in the sky has a point when she says that we create for ourselves a word and we became a character of this world. We create a "what if" essentially.

But when push comes to shove the idea of having sex in real life is still super uncomfortable.

 

[rach123]

Thinking of that does nothing for me. It does happen but i just dont feel anything. Like if i feel aroused for no reason, thinking about doing it with someone snaps me out of it almost immediately. Its really strange....

[Vincisomething]

3 hours ago, GloriaA said:

I don't generally since I hardly develop crushes nowadays. But when I was younger or when I'm forced to deal with other people for many hours at length I sometimes start to picture possible scenarios. Like "what if they fall in love with me? what if I suddenly find myself for the first time attracted to someone else? what if we have sex?". And then I usually and abruptly stop because even the idea of having sex starts to make me feel very uncomfortable.

 

I think that @Lucy in the sky has a point when she says that we create for ourselves a word and we became a character of this world. We create a "what if" essentially.

 

But when push comes to shove the idea of having sex in real life is still super uncomfortable.

 

 

That's exactly it, I think. I imagine what it would be like if I had an emotional/romantic connection to that person and then the relationship became sexual. And then I see them in real life, my libido is flat lined.

[Vincisomething]

3 hours ago, rach123 said:

Thinking of that does nothing for me. It does happen but i just dont feel anything. Like if i feel aroused for no reason, thinking about doing it with someone snaps me out of it almost immediately. Its really strange....

It might be frustrating because allo people may not understand. Let's say your body was aroused by the physical touch, but you, yourself were not that into it. It would've been adequate or even less than at best. Someone who is allo (or in my head, a straight white whiney guy) would try to tell you otherwise. As if they know your body more than you

[tunasupreme]

I can kind of relate. I can not bring myself to think about (real or fictional)  people  in a sexual way.  Although If I try, I  do find the idea of the physical closeness, the heat and pressure and moving against each other in a steamy sort of way- appealing. 

[Vincisomething]

23 hours ago, tunasupreme said:

I can kind of relate. I can not bring myself to think about (real or fictional)  people  in a sexual way.  Although If I try, I  do find the idea of the physical closeness, the heat and pressure and moving against each other in a steamy sort of way- appealing. 

The closest I'm sexually attracted to a fictional person is when I imagine that I'm emotionally attracted to them. But, it's never that arousing because I think my brain knows it's making it up.

[SilentRose]

I do have sexual fantasies, sometimes I make up quite elaborate ones...only difference is that I'm never in these fantasies, and no one I know is either  I've had weird non sexual, not romantic...almost platonic fantasies about people I find aesthetically pleasing though, does that count?

 

[Janus the Fox]

Never have though about sex hypotheticals myself.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Same here @Janus DarkFox! I can't imagine myself in those situations (although I have been in the past!)