Ace and non-ace romantic issues?

[KittBee]

I've been having some issues with a boyfriend recently that have kept getting worse. We've been together for over 2 years and are compatible in so many ways, except for what we are okay with in terms of sexual/romantic stuff. I can't stand kissing (unless it's like a cute kiss on the nose or something) but he's a very kissy and cuddley person as he has told me before. I tend to be more akoiromantic, I like to hug, but not always be hugged etc, and it's making it hard on him. Does anyone have experience with relationships like this? I don't like disappointing people, so sometimes it's hard to say no to things I don't feel comfortable with.

[RottenInDenmark]

3 hours ago, KittBee said:

Does anyone have experience with relationships like this? I don't like disappointing people, so sometimes it's hard to say no to things I don't feel comfortable with.

yep. not experience though, that implies i learned something 

 

but i reckon i know the feeling from past relationship. i did unfortunately break up with the person. i did try talking to them, how awkward the whole kissing, sexy talk lovey dovey flirting was for me. He didn't take it well. 

but it took me soo looooong to get the courage just to say No to the things i know i don't like doing. if had kept going i was just get more miserable. I told him how hard it was for me,  i could have chosen my words better. He took it as him' being bad at it. But i tried explaining, it had nothing to do with being bad at it, just that 'I' don't like that type of stuff, so why would he think it was necessary to do it. I guess only for his' own sake, but that was more me not filling his needs. which is why i did break it up. 

It had nothing to do with being bad, just knowing your audience. shouldn't we see our partners for who they are? than, what we want them to be? 

I would have liked to try, 'meeting half way'. but i have to draw the line, when it goes further beyond my limit, and do stuff that was waay out of my boundaries. There are others ways to show love' without it' being cringing', it may not be what everyone wants in their partners, but i guess it's what  relationships is about. communication.

i know i want (from now on ) to be clear from the start to my partner about my feelings and the ways ''I'' express my love. they shouldn't expect me to be something out of a Romance Movie. 

 

but hug* to you, i hope you'll figure it out.