malhhh Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 has anyone else been through every orientation before deciding that they were asexual? i remember thing that i was straight, and bisexual, and even lesbian for a while throughout my life. i think it was because i couldn't understand what everyone else was feeling, so i kind of tried to force myself to choose. also does anyone feel like if they haven't dated they cant tell others about their asexuality, as they might chalk it up to inexperience? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I thought I could freely choose my orientation. Little did I know, that wasn't freedom of orientation.. that was lack of it ... as I grew up tho, I bloomed... I'm greysexual and demiromantic took me a while to really figure it out. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Um, reading implications here, but asexuality strictly pertains to sexual activity. Wanting/not wanting a relationship is completely different (the latter being aromantic and shorthand for being both is around ace). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Potato Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Star Bit said: Um, reading implications here, but asexuality strictly pertains to sexual activity. Wanting/not wanting a relationship is completely different (the latter being aromantic and shorthand for being both is around ace). actually asexual is a lack of sexual attraction, not sexual activity. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceEllis Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I completely relate to your experiences @malhhh. I went through lots of labels before I learned about asexuality. It's always hard but at least you're here now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 1 hour ago, Sweet Potato said: actually asexual is a lack of sexual attraction, not sexual activity. I said it's ABOUT sexual activity, I never said how. So to clarify, it's about not wanting any kind of sexual activity with anyone. The sexual attraction definition is based on an American cultural phrase and it's wrong. **Also, stupid auto correct. Shorthand for being both is ARO ace. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceEllis Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 3 minutes ago, Star Bit said: I said it's ABOUT sexual activity, I never said how. So to clarify, it's about not wanting sexual activity with anyone. The sexual attraction definition is based on an American cultural phrase and it's wrong. Also, stupid auto correct. Shorthand for being both is ARO ace. I have to agree with @Sweet Potato. Asexuality is not about not wanting sex, although the two can occur together. There are plenty of sex-repulsed aces, but there are also sex-positive aces. I'm not sure what you mean by 'based on an American cultural phrase', but I don't think the definition is wrong. I think the definition works, because there are plenty of individuals who don't want sex because of various reasons, like fear of sex, but still experience sexual attraction. I wouldn't call these people asexual. There are lots of reasons ace can want sex, like the physical experience, or pleasuring their partner. This doesn't negate their asexuality in the slightest. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Yes in some fore just before finding asexuality, and then again once more to check again even after getting more experienced with relationships, feeling 0 of anything can do that to many in early stages if identity questioning. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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