Cobie Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I would never approach someone wearing a black ring on their right hand. Because they might be a swinger. I know they're meant to avoid the middle finger but I'd be too scared to risk it. And I don't wear the ring myself. Because people around where I live just know - 'black ring = swinger'. And no, they really don't keep up with online recommendations for swingers as to which finger to avoid. I don't want to be mistaken for a swinger. Also see @FictoVore. post https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/168899-saw-someone-with-an-ace-ring/?do=findComment&comment=1062746329 I think we need a ring that is unique to asexuals. A multicoloured white, grey, black and purple ring would be ideal, but hard to find. So I suggest a plain purple ring. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 Good point, it doesn't necessarily have to be a ring. I'd still prefer purple over black though. Link to post Share on other sites
iff Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 moved to asexuals musings Iff, Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Masterman Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I just learned what a swinger was because of these posts I sometimes feel so naive about these things, and they go over my head. Anyway, I do think we lack proper symbols, and that the rings are too easy to miss. Do you people actually stare with attention to other persons' hands? I sure don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 40 minutes ago, Masterman said: ... rings are too easy to miss. ... True. But I wouldn’t want anything too obvious neither. What would your suggestion be? Link to post Share on other sites
Masterman Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I wish I had the answer. Though I've known about asexuality for years, I'm only now starting to learn about the culture surrounding it. I learned about the rings and cakes just today Link to post Share on other sites
Celyn: The Lutening Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I can get behind purple, it's my favourite colour! But hands aren't always obvious, and nobody will see my ring in winter when I'm wearing gloves. Something related to the ace of spades? A pin on the lapel? - I think you can buy those already. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott1989 Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I think the problem with a purple ri g idea is it'll be harder to find than a black ring. Also black does represent asexuality on the pride flag (grey for grey ace, demi and everything else in the middle of the ace spectrum, white for sexual allues and purple for community). Lastly I think people are less likely to assume you are asexual never mind a swinger when seeing rings as I've heard identification via rings is rare. Plus swingers are trying to respect our middle finger so within their community it should be understood, if not a polite explination should be enough. Outside of swingers I think very few know the swinger meaning (it's meant to be discreet for swingers) as they rather fly under the radar more than aces, as swinging is see as "peverted" and "unmoral" out side of their community (not my personal opinion). Evem if someone thinks you are one, just politly correct them. Link to post Share on other sites
skepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 well swingers usually are told not to wear the ring on their right middle fingers out of respect for the ace community. So there still is a difference Link to post Share on other sites
StreetlightDawn Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I currently wear a black ring but wouldn't mind a switch to purple. I actually plan on wearing both once I find a purple one anyway! I would love more ace identifiers. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Potato Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 I plan on getting a ring soon, I like black because I can get it in genuine metal, not enameled or such. there are no purple metals, so a purple ring just looks like play jewelry, to me anyway. also as @Scott1989 said, black actually represents Asexuality. and its a very simple explanation that its ace not swinger if questioned Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Oh, it's not difficult to disabuse people of the notion that one is a swinger! Anyone who has ever asked me can testify to that..... Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 16 hours ago, Masterman said: ... I learned about the rings and cakes just today fresh ideas are very welcome. 14 hours ago, Celyn said: I can get behind purple, it's my favourite colour! Mine too. Quote ... But hands aren't always obvious, and nobody will see my ring in winter when I'm wearing gloves. True. Quote Something related to the ace of spades? I think that's for Asexual Aromantic. I am heteroromantic (without hope ). Quote A pin on the lapel? - I think you can buy those already. I always loose pins. Still it's a good idea. Where can you get them, do you know? 14 hours ago, Scott1989 said: I think the problem with a purple ri g idea is it'll be harder to find than a black ring. A bit harder to find, yes, but possible enough I think. Quote Also black does represent asexuality on the pride flag (grey for grey ace, demi and everything else in the middle of the ace spectrum, white for sexual allues and purple for community). Yes, I was aware of that. I actually like that, that purple is for community, I really would like to emphasise community. Quote ... I've heard identification via rings is rare. Plus swingers are trying to respect our middle finger so within their community it should be understood, ... Outside of swingers I think very few know the swinger meaning ... I refer back to my opening post https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/168902-new-aven-ring/?do=findComment&comment=1062746382 14 hours ago, skepa said: well swingers usually are told not to wear the ring on their right middle fingers out of respect for the ace community. So there still is a difference Again, I refer back to my opening post https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/168902-new-aven-ring/?do=findComment&comment=1062746382 6 hours ago, chandrakirti said: Oh, it's not difficult to disabuse people of the notion that one is a swinger! Anyone who has ever asked me can testify to that..... Ha, ha, yes, I've done a lot of shouting F*ck off too. But I don't like to put in the effort, I'd rather they'd stay away seeing a purple ring or something. Still in the mean time, if you have any good tips on how to ged rid of unwanted swingers approaches, then I'd love to hear your stories. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 It's easy without the use of the ubiquitous 4 letter word ....just tll them the signficance of the ring being on the middle finger as opposed to the ring finger if they're swingers (good chance swingers would know that though), or just tell them that as an asexual , these relationships are not on the cards (even the Ace cards!) Link to post Share on other sites
Masterman Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 2 minutes ago, Thea2 said: I think that's for Asexual Aromantic. I am heteroromantic (without hope ). I'm heteroromantic too, and I also feel without hope . To the point I'm mostly aromantic but heteroaesthetic, I guess. Anyway, I liked the idea of the Ace of spades too (for some reason I've always liked the spades the most in any card deck), but if it's already taken, maybe we should expand it and finding something else. Ps. The fact that we're still discussing how to approach our symbols and identities, is a testament to how isolated we've been for years. There's still much to do in order to get recognized. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Potato Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 24 minutes ago, Masterman said: Anyway, I liked the idea of the Ace of spades too (for some reason I've always liked the spades the most in any card deck), but if it's already taken, maybe we should expand it and finding something else. Ace of Hearts is for romantic aces, ace of diamonds is (unofficial) grey A, clubs is (unofficial) questioning. also seen it as diamonds is grey and clubs is demi. Link to post Share on other sites
Masterman Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Oh, my! That's so many things it's hard to memorize! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 12 hours ago, StreetlightDawn said: I currently wear a black ring but wouldn't mind a switch to purple. I actually plan on wearing both ... I like the idea. 11 hours ago, Sweet Potato said: ... a purple ring just looks like play jewelry, ... It’s a valid argument. Personally, I actually like paste Quote ... its a very simple explanation that its ace not swinger if questioned True, but I still don’t want to have to explain. I don’t like talking to strangers IRL in general. 1 hour ago, Masterman said: I'm heteroromantic too, and I also feel without hope . 1 hour ago, Masterman said: ... if it's already taken, maybe we should expand it and finding something else. I agree. 55 minutes ago, Sweet Potato said: Ace of Hearts is for romantic aces, ace of diamonds is (unofficial) grey A, clubs is (unofficial) questioning. also seen it as diamonds is grey and clubs is demi. Thank you for the info 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
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