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How has AVEN impacted your life?


MC_Awkward

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Hey there, I have a class I'm taking at school, Queer Studies, and I'm researching AVEN for a project. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share how AVEN has impacted their life. Thanks!

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AVEN has really brought a sense of security and comfort into my life. When I first found out that I was asexual, I had no term for it and I felt as if I was the only person who felt this way. After doing a google search of "why don't I like boys or girls?", I found this site that let's me know that I am not alone. I enjoy being able to chat with people who understand what I am going through. I always look forward to checking this site multiple times a day just to get a resurgence of hope or to help others that may be going through something that I have been through. I am so thankful that I found this site and can't imagine how alone I would feel today if I didn't find AVEN. :cake: 

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I met people who are not only similar in the experiences of, "why's sexy stuff all that and a bag of chips? I'm confused" but also similar in interests and general relatability. I've gotten attatched to AVEN for the people here. In addition, I've seen many people with all sorts of perspectives and that's always nice!

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Willgracefan

When I found AVEN, I wasn’t broken anymore. I learned that my feelings were different from the vast majority of others but that was ok because there were others in the world who knew exactly how I felt.  I became normal. Reading posts I just had so many “a-ha” moments, being part of a community felt good. Within eight months of discovering I was Ace and finding AVEN, I got the courage to come out to my friends and sister. I would never have done that would never of done that without AVEN. :cake:

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NickyTannock

I'm relatively new to AVEN, but I learned that I'm a Nonlibidoist after joining AVEN.
I also feel less isolated since I've been here since I can't relate to anyone elsewhere with regards to sex.

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andreas1033

Nothing for me personally, other then at least others may be aware that asexuals do exist, and its not some fixed thing, where everyone is the same.

 

Being an asexual, is a very personal thing, that is unique to you. You have to remember, that there is many other parts to you that make up you, and being asexual, with a combination of everything else, makes you uniquely you.

 

Being straight or gay, is more general terms. But being asexual, means quite different things to people, depending on all there other aspects.

 

I doubt there is two asexuals that are exactly the same really. Its a thing, that is very personal to the person involved. As sexual drives, or lack thereof, can impact people in many different ways, depending on what makes up you being you.

 

I post rarely here, and rarely read the posts. But its nice to be able just to say such things, with others, that although not exactly like, you, at least people here relate to being asexual. Even if there is no absolute form of being asexual, as humans are more complicated then just having a sex drive, or lack of one.

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I think I’ve become more aware of just how oblivious I am to the sexual stuff going on around me. It’s kind of embarrassing how much I miss 😅

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Well, I'm now engaged thanks to AVEN... so there's that!

 

Other than that though, mainly what I got was the reaffirmation that I'm not entirely alone.  In some aspects, anyway... I still have that feeling occasionally in regard to others.

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Celyn: The Lutening

Like has been said before, it's for that sense of community. And no matter how alone you feel with your particular blend of asexuality, attractions, gender etc. you find people whose experiences are similar to your own. The people here are also super helpful with gently suggesting solutions that might help you feel more comfortable with who you are.

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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On 3/16/2018 at 7:08 PM, Zenzencat104 said:

90% of my stress is magically gone!

Same!  I have anxiety issues and I've always thought my lack of success with dating and relationships was linked to those.  Now I'm starting to think it's probably because I'm asexual and I had no idea. It give me hope that I might be able to have a functional relationship now that I know what I want out of it and know how to express that.  It also feels like I'm less screwed up than I thought.  I'm still a hot mess, but that's one less thing that needs to be fixed.

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I'm waaay more informed now. My mind has been opened up to possibilities. I'm strengthening the only part of myself that I haven't worked to develop.  I'm starting to figure out what I really want in a relationship and that I can make it how ever I want. I don't have to do the parts I don't want. There are options.

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Minimintymintea

I've always been waiting for that special person since everyone would tell me "You havent found the right person." I always thought that the only way I could be happy in life is if I find a boyfriend and get a house and live with them and i haaad to have sex with them or eventualy I would be alone forever. You have to find someone or you will not be happy and be lonly. I was starting to think there is something wrong with me. I felt weird. I was so happy that there were other people like me and A LOT OF people like me and that someday I could be in a happy relationship where sex was not expected that having a partner is not the key to happiness foreveryone. It helped me feel more secure in myself.

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I've learned a lot about myself, like my sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and gender identity. If I hadn't found AVEN, I think I'd still be lost and confused and wondering why I felt different than the rest of the world.

 

It's also helped me to be more self-confident, because of all of the support and encouragement I have received from other users.

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Guest community6seasons

I used to (and sometimes still do) feel inadequate that I have never been in a proper relationship before and that no one has ever asked me out. But then I read this thread on AVEN where many people shared similar experiences and it was as if a weight had dropped from my shoulders. I realised it's fine even if I never find anyone ever. 

Now if only I could stop getting into unrequited crushes, I would achieve peace of mind. 

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I joined AVEN last year and it honestly saved me. I was in the most fragile state of mind, more sensitive than I have ever been in my life. The people on this site are so positive and encouraging. It was the archive of information I was looking for, I'm so grateful for a safe space like this. I wouldn't have been able to deal with my self-discovery (in terms of sexuality) without AVEN.

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AVEN gave me the answers to questions I've had all my life.

 

I've struggled with confidence, relationships and depression as a result of the questions I had.

 

"Why do I never want sex?" "Why do I feel uncomfortable when my friends talk about sex?" "Why does everyone seem to think differently compared to myself?" "What's wrong with me?" "Am I broken?"

 

AVEN let me know that there are other people out there like me and that the way I feel is okay. I no longer feel broken and feel comfortable with the way I am finally.

 

I owe so much to this website and the great people here ❤🍰

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AVEN is a bitter love for me. I adore that there are so many different people here, and so easily (at least for me) defines asexuality, and this site literally called my soul because I didn't know what was "wrong with me", but AVEN's environment feels really hostile for people who don't fit in certain molds, and there are several; people are constantly in-fighting, and in my opinion, people can't handle arguing on AVEN, it's really emotionally stress for both me and a lot of other users on here so it's not an enjoyable experience.

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18 hours ago, The Dryad said:

AVEN is a bitter love for me. I adore that there are so many different people here, and so easily (at least for me) defines asexuality, and this site literally called my soul because I didn't know what was "wrong with me", but AVEN's environment feels really hostile for people who don't fit in certain molds, and there are several; people are constantly in-fighting, and in my opinion, people can't handle arguing on AVEN, it's really emotionally stress for both me and a lot of other users on here so it's not an enjoyable experience.

That's really sad. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Everybody deserves to be here.

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