LeondreCheney Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Hello, I have recently in the past couple weeks have discovered I am gender fluid. When I was younger I went through phases where I was what they call 'tomboy' but others weeks or days I would be more feminine and be comfortable with my assigned gender/sex. I go through weeks even months sticking with one gender, for example male, which I prefer more than female. I thought I was transgender, 'ftm' but now I have realised what gender I really am. I have a few questions I do wonder, is it normal to typically prefer one gender over another, and/or am I the only gender fluid person out there to prefer one gender to the other. I am getting my haircut really short in just under a week, it's something I've wanted for a long time I'm excited to get it down however I'm bit anxious what people's reactions will be, but I'm getting the cut regardless. Any advice dealing with hair dysphoria? I do put it in a low ponytail and in a hat for my more masculine days, feminine days I have my hair brushed down, but what to do when I have short hair on my female days?. Any other school advice when having a man day, with long hair baring in mind I cannot wear hats etc. What could I do to look more manly, normally I wear trousers and black trainers and have my sleeves rolled up with a black watch and lots of black wrist bands got any suggestions reply on here or pm me. Thanks for reading x Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Gender Discussion. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Hello I think it’s perfectly normal to prefer one gender, which is usually the opposite to assigned I imagine. I’m gender fluid too and prefer being referred to as being a woman even though I was born male and don’t plan to transition. Have you considered a medium length cut for your hair? Men these days are having their hair that length and there are probably styles out there that will look more male on your male days. At least then you can make it feminine when you want to as well. A lot of women have shorter hair these days so I would say you can be comfortable that people won’t notice too much. In terms of clothes, try looser fit clothing for your male days and enjoy the range of jeans, sneakers, t-shirts, shirts and jackets available. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 I've had times of feeling gender fluid, mild between around the middle of male-agender-female, often than most keeping within agender with a rare swing to the lest feeling fine with the body being male sexed. in terms of genitals, but also much more common is a swing to the right, feeling female, gender expressing as such in private etc, becoming much Transgender for longer stretches in time. I keep my hair long, while keeping the nails long as potential dysphoric around the hands. I often lounge in female clothing in private, feels much more lighter compared to male clothing for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow007 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I also think that preferring one gender over another, even while being neither/both, is not so uncommon. The short haircut can be a lot of fun; the first time I had my sister cut it for me because long hair was becoming annoying to me, and she had already begun wearing hers shorter as well. It was incredibly freeing - less knots and tangles, less hassle in fixing or styling it if that's what it needed, etc. One trick my sister did to make it look more feminine on herself was to add a colorful headband or bow (or even a few pretty clips). It's simple and quick, and really changes the whole look. I don't think your new hairstyle will get any negative reactions. Short hair is a popular style, and I read somewhere that it gives the impression of being more approachable (less chance to hide behind the hair, which prompts more self-confidence). It also highlights your face more, so I'm sure that if anything, the people in your life are more likely to be pleasantly surprised by the change. For the clothes, I agree with @Princess Merida; looser clothing has such a wide range to choose from, and they're soooo comfy! Although I lean more toward gender neutral in style, it still works really well. I'll wear a baggy t-shirt with jeans any day! The only other thing I can think of apart from clothes would be binding, which requires a bit of research as I understand it. (Okay not the only thing...) Also, I heard there's a way to highlight facial features to simulate masculinity with makeup - there was a Youtube personality who did something similar through her parody videos as male characters. Link to post Share on other sites
LeondreCheney Posted March 21, 2018 Author Share Posted March 21, 2018 Thank you everyone for you help it has been much appreciated. I've booked my hair appointment for Friday this week, I have chosen finally out of a lot of hairstyles but I am excited! Here is the link to the cut enjoy x https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/314266880233993306/ Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Nice nowadays I'm okay with the long side of my hair but the temptation to dye it is growing...but sidecut with that length of hair is similar to what I got in part and looks great. Link to post Share on other sites
LeondreCheney Posted March 24, 2018 Author Share Posted March 24, 2018 On 22/03/2018 at 1:28 PM, Lonemathsytoothbrushthief said: Nice nowadays I'm okay with the long side of my hair but the temptation to dye it is growing...but sidecut with that length of hair is similar to what I got in part and looks great. I have had my haircut, I'm extremely happy with it. Many friends and family love it, in the summer I'm hoping to dye the parting light pasta colours! Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 1 minute ago, LeondreCheney said: I have had my haircut, I'm extremely happy with it. Many friends and family love it, in the summer I'm hoping to dye the parting light pasta colours! Great news! I'm glad the haircut went well, I seem to be keeping mine as is because I decided I like long hair plus sidecut plus beanie. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenix09 Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 Personally, I usually feel rather genderless(or as I usually say F***gender) but if I do feel gendered it usually is a pretty masculine sense of being(I’m afab). My hair is something I can literally never deside how I feel about... some days I want long, some days I want short(right now it’s that weird length that’s too short to put up and looks kinda funky down...) I had it really short for a while, and have a lovely wig for when I want long hair, but I’m not brave enough to wear it out of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
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