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New and completely confused


Sarah62

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Hey,

 I'm new here and I just read a little more about asexuality today and read that asexual people also have sex drive. I masturbate and like it and always thought that asexual means no sex ever. I've never been sexually attracted to anyone ever and the thought of someone touching me sexually doesn't repulse me but I'm kind of indifferent to it even someone people consider conventionally sexy or something. I've never had a crush and don't understand what squish means. I don't even want a relationship but I am curious about what being in one might feel like except it feels like cheating to say yes to go out with someone when I don't even feel a little interested in them. 

I don't understand if I can be defined as ace or not.

Edit 1: I just realized that I probably should have told my age. I'm 19 and cis female.

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If you don't experience sexual attraction or care about sex then you're probably ace.  You can still have a libido and masterbate.  Sex drive an sexual attraction are two different things.  As for your relationship interests, there are different types of attraction, sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic. I suggest reading up on those to see if any of them fit.  They might not. You can be asexual and want a relationship, or not.  You'll have to figure out the finer points for yourself, but from what you've said it does sound like you're probably ace.

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Welcome to Aven! It is customary to receive cake here so :cake:

 

It is possible that you are asexual! Being asexual is defined by a lack of sexual attraction and desire towards others, rather than the actions you take. Asexuals can absolutely have a sex drive, Just because you masturbate and it feels good doesn't mean you aren't asexual.

 

19 minutes ago, Sarah62 said:

I've never had a crush and don't understand what squish means

A crush is defined as having developed a strong desire to be with another person romantically whereas a squish is having developed a strong desire for a strong platonic friendship with someone, if that helps. :) 

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Hey Sarah62

 

Welcome to AVEN! Make yourself at home (:

 

When I first heard about asexuality I also thought it meant no sex ever. However I quickly discovered that asexuality is solely focused on the "attraction" factor, i.e. the lack or absence of feeling attraction in a sexual nature. This meant that it's common for asexuals to have kinks, fetishes, fantasise, masturbate, even have sex.

 

You may want to look into the romantic spectrum too; for people who haven't ever experienced a romantic crush, there is chance you may be aro and there is nothing wrong with that :) A squish is sort of like a crush but in a more platonic/friendship sense. Romantic people develop crushes, like a lover. In my opinion a squish is more like developing platonic feelings towards a person, like a life companion (as opposed to a lover).

 

The illustration below may be useful (:

 

My PMs are always open if you ever need to have a chat too!

 

zlo2z.jpg

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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Welcome! Sorry if I’m a bit late to the party :P A squish I see like a platonic crush. You meet someone and you want to be their friend. It makes you feel very happy to be around them, but it’s not romantic.

csc_8469.jpg

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