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what am I


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hello, this my first time here 

I've never imagined that I will be someone who is not heterosexual but I realized at my 18 year old that  I'm a lesbian it was hard at first to accept it but now am fine with it  (as long as my family do not know ) I have a girlfriend  now (I'm 20 now ) my first girlfriend but I've realized that I don't enjoy kissing I hate it so much and I don't want to have sex either I would like the idea but not doing it in reality. what does that make me ?? am I an asexual ?? but I do have a libido !and a sexual attraction !  and I love her and I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to kiss her anymore and I don't want to have sex ! btw I kissed boys before I didn't enjoy it I kissed girls, french kisses I did't feel anything and I don't want to do it anymore. 

please what am I ? 

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It does sound like you are asexual, which means you don't feel sexual attraction, basically you just don't want to have sex with people, you can still be homoromantic or possibly aromantic based on that you don't enjoy kissing either, although who knows, only you can really tell what you are, but it does sound like you are asexual. At any rate, welcome to AVEN! :cake::cake::cake: hopefully you can find the answers to your questions, also I would suggest talking with your girlfriend, to just figure out what is all going on and see what works best for the both of you. 

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Well, the key factor in being asexual is lack of sexual attraction, but it's worth considering if that's what it really is.  There are different types, sensual, romantic, aesthetic and if you don't feel one it's easy to confuse it because you've been told that's what you should feel.  For me, I thought i was straight because I knew I wasn't sexually attracted to women, so I assumed I was straight since I didn't know not feeling sexual attraction was a thing.  Good luck!

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5 hours ago, Dean. said:

It does sound like you are asexual, which means you don't feel sexual attraction, basically you just don't want to have sex with people, you can still be homoromantic or possibly aromantic based on that you don't enjoy kissing either, although who knows, only you can really tell what you are, but it does sound like you are asexual. At any rate, welcome to AVEN! :cake::cake::cake: hopefully you can find the answers to your questions, also I would suggest talking with your girlfriend, to just figure out what is all going on and see what works best for the both of you. 

I did some researches maybe I am repulsed  asexual . I don't really know .

thank uu <3 

 

and I have told her an our ago it didn't went well :') 

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5 hours ago, Claire1983 said:

Well, the key factor in being asexual is lack of sexual attraction, but it's worth considering if that's what it really is.  There are different types, sensual, romantic, aesthetic and if you don't feel one it's easy to confuse it because you've been told that's what you should feel.  For me, I thought i was straight because I knew I wasn't sexually attracted to women, so I assumed I was straight since I didn't know not feeling sexual attraction was a thing.  Good luck!

yeah I've been told that this is" what u should be feeling" ! "there is something wrong with you" ! or "try me and u will like it "

that's why am keeping it a secret from everyone even from myself by not thinking about and trying to act like a straight person but I regret it and I don't feel comfortable at all 

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3 minutes ago, catty said:

yeah I've been told that this is" what u should be feeling" ! "there is something wrong with you" ! or "try me and u will like it "

that's why am keeping it a secret from everyone even from myself by not thinking about and trying to act like a straight person but I regret it and I don't feel comfortable at all 

Yeah, it can be really difficult to sort things out, especially trying to say you DON'T feel something when you don't even know what you're supposed to feel.  And it may take time for you to sort it out completely.  Hanging around here and reading other peoples stories and comparing notes can be very helpful.  Everyone is different, but you'll find something that clicks.

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@catty

Sorry to hear it didn't go well :(  hopefully she'll either come around and compromise or you'll find someone better.

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Celyn: The Lutening

There's a subforum here somewhere specifically for the romantic partners of aces. (Not sure where because I'm new here myself and single). Maybe that would help your girlfriend.

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