Vincisomething Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 19 hours ago, Sally said: When you say you're friends, people assume that you are NOT having sex. They also assume the deep emotional connection isn't there. The attraction (or lack of) I have for friends isn't the same as someone I would have an emotional connection to. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vincisomething Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 3 hours ago, float on said: A QPR is a platonic, close relationship that might appear romantic due to sharing each other's life, or being friends who are unusually close, but it isn't a romantic relationship. If it isn't P, it's not platonic... meaning it's either a romantic relationship or a sexual relationship. In my case, it's not romantic, but it may be sexual. Past "just friends" but before "boyfriend/girlfriend." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vincisomething Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 3 hours ago, float on said: aromantic people can be in romantic relationships. I advise not to let romance repulsion get in the way of acknowledging romance in your relationship, if it is there. Denial of any kind can be dangerous, don't let your discomfort or fears create denial... it'll be okay don't worry you don't have to be alloromantic or to find the relationship romantic or to want it to be romantic... but if it is romantic for her, that needs to be something she knows you recognize. romance isn't "I find it romantic" - romance is certain behaviors and closenesses. Aromantic people either do not want those, or do not find them romantic. an aromantic person can function in a romantic relationship and still remain aromantic. Maybe you are in a mixed relationship? If so, then talk to your partner if you would prefer to call it a QPR, mixed, or romantic. Come to an agreement with her and be consistent with her. You've stated you don't want to call it romantic - but be willing to acknowledge its romance if it is there, between you and her - assuming she is romantic that is - but then tell her that you either want to call it a QPR - or a mixed relationship. People in mixed relationships often call it "QPR" If you and her are both aromantic, just call it a QPR, or a partnership, or a relationship. call her your partner. call her anything. no one requires you to call her your gf. "partner" is a term even used for business partnership, so it indicates a serious relationship when used personally, but does not intrinsically imply romance. if you feel that the relationship being sexual implies it can't be platonic, then call it a relationship or a partnership. call her your partner perhaps, or some other word. I'm sorry if none of my suggestions settle with you.. I hope they do tho... if they don't I'd be curious enough to try to work out some words you're comfortable using But IMO I think "partnership", "relationship". "mixed relationship" or "qpr" all would be fine to use . Where I'm from, "partner" is assumed to mean romantic partner because people here say, "my partner" when referring to their significant other lol. I guess "qpr" but with sex? A-sexual-relationship-that-is-emotionally-bonded-and-excludes-romantic-attraction? Also, that sentence was misunderstood lol. I meant if I was someone who was romantically attracted to women, I would have no problem calling it a romantic relationship. Not, "there is a possibility I may have a romantic attraction to women, but I want to avoid saying it's romantic." However, since I am not romantically attracted to women like I am with men, it just doesn't feel like me. I also don't know what a mixed relationship is except in the context of interracial couples lol. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vincisomething Posted March 18, 2018 Author Share Posted March 18, 2018 3 hours ago, float on said: aromantic people can be in romantic relationships. I advise not to let romance repulsion get in the way of acknowledging romance in your relationship, if it is there. Denial of any kind can be dangerous, don't let your discomfort or fears create denial... it'll be okay don't worry you don't have to be alloromantic or to find the relationship romantic or to want it to be romantic... but if it is romantic for her, that needs to be something she knows you recognize. romance isn't "I find it romantic" - romance is certain behaviors and closenesses. Aromantic people either do not want those, or do not find them romantic. an aromantic person can function in a romantic relationship and still remain aromantic. Maybe you are in a mixed relationship? If so, then talk to your partner if you would prefer to call it a QPR, mixed, or romantic. Come to an agreement with her and be consistent with her. You've stated you don't want to call it romantic - but be willing to acknowledge its romance if it is there, between you and her - assuming she is romantic that is - but then tell her that you either want to call it a QPR - or a mixed relationship. People in mixed relationships often call it "QPR" If you and her are both aromantic, just call it a QPR, or a partnership, or a relationship. call her your partner. call her anything. no one requires you to call her your gf. "partner" is a term even used for business partnership, so it indicates a serious relationship when used personally, but does not intrinsically imply romance. if you feel that the relationship being sexual implies it can't be platonic, then call it a relationship or a partnership. call her your partner perhaps, or some other word. I'm sorry if none of my suggestions settle with you.. I hope they do tho... if they don't I'd be curious enough to try to work out some words you're comfortable using But IMO I think "partnership", "relationship". "mixed relationship" or "qpr" all would be fine to use . I also don't know if i want to be in a "qpr" with a woman that is romantically attracted to me (as in "in love with me"- not to sound like I'm such a catch for women, but just having an unbalanced attraction) because by the end of the day, I still crave romantic attraction from and for men. Unless she's completely fine with it being temporary, I wouldn't want to just be like, "so I like this guy now... so... bye?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 On 18/03/2018 at 12:24 AM, Vincisomething said: Yeah, and also with friends, it's assumed we don't have that really deep emotional connection. And if i say QPR, like you said, it's assumed to be nonsexual. With good reason. The word 'platonic' means 'not sexual' 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 ^^ (Have not followed the thread, but) Yay 😀 platonic. I’ve been thinking for a while now that the word asexual has become unusable * and was looking for a better word. I’ve updated my profile . * Asexual is defining myself negatively as what I am not, has pre-existing meanings, and also there’s the cupiosexuals confusion. And it sounds like ‘a sexual’ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 I can see your point, but you might have to do some grammatical tweaking as it's only really used as a noun... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 Want to emphasize: there's no such thing as "QPR with sex". Platonic = no sex. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cobie Posted March 19, 2018 Share Posted March 19, 2018 7 hours ago, Telecaster68 said: I can see your point, but you might have to do some grammatical tweaking as it's only really used as a noun... Darn https://goo.gl/images/5Ks8Qv *Adjective Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vincisomething Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 10 hours ago, Telecaster68 said: I can see your point, but you might have to do some grammatical tweaking as it's only really used as a noun... What is? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Vincisomething Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Sally said: Want to emphasize: there's no such thing as "QPR with sex". Platonic = no sex. 14 hours ago, Telecaster68 said: With good reason. The word 'platonic' means 'not sexual' I know, I've been saying that lol. I'm using QPR because it's the closest word I know to describe this type of relationship. The only problem is is that it's platonic while the one I'm thinking of is not. I'm trying to ask is there an alternate to a QPR where two people are emotionally connected/attracted (NOT romantically) but engage in sexual activity with each other. QSR (Queer Sexual Relationship)? Queer romantic relationship (QRR)? Kind of like a couple/relationship but to the left? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I still don’t understand the problem with calling it a relationship, or a sexual relationship. Neither is explicitly romantic, and so what if people who don’t matter make incorrect assumptions? The people who do matter know. The people who don’t matter don’t need to know the nature of your intimacy with her. Your relationship with her isn’t changed just because rando strangers misunderstand it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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