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Thank God I found this forum


GTO Guy

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Good day to all who will read this post. My name is Mark and I am a sexual who has been married to an asexual woman for 41 years. We raised four boys and are now trying to settle into retirement. My wife and I generally enjoy each other’s company yet seem to be challenged more now given the fact that I no longer work the hours I used to. I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s about 7 years ago which does add a physical challenge for me as well as a changed perspective of how I wish to spend my few remaining years of good health.  At the risk of sounding self centered, I have born the burden of my asexual wife in that she has had near complete control of the sexual frequency. After years of frustrating and stressful discussions she at one point stated “If it wasn’t for your needs, I would never have sex again.”  She does on occasion respond to my advance and normally reaches climax so there doesn’t seem to be performance or physical issues involved. With very few exceptions I am the one to initiate our very rare sexual encounters. They are rare at my decision as it was very frustrating in our earlier life when I would attempt frequent encounters with most rejected. This constantl rejection challenged our relationship with discussions yielding no long term change. At one point many years ago I realized that our only hope to survive as a couple was for me to stop running into that wall.  I hope to gain understanding of our continuing challenge through dialogue with folks in similar circumstances and look forward to sharing more detailed discussions. I have no allusions that my wife will suddenly become sexual but there has to be some steps or actions I can take to make this better. 

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Hey GTO, thanks for sharing your story. Communication is extremely important. Being able to understand who your partner is will go a long way, even if you are unable to make an aadjustment I hope that you find the right answers on aven. Welcome aboard.

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Thanks Curi, that’s my hope and goal. I am firmly committed to my marriage and want it to last to one of our last days with the living. 

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you sound like you're very understanding of your wife (and yourself, and the whole situation). I'm sure that's a great basis to get a lot out of this forum. welcome!

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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