Nordic Rugged Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 I just recently came to the conclusion that I am asexual. It is a very weird thing to still think about but I am getting used to the idea of having something that I can call this orientation. I always thought there was something wrong with me but it does make it feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders after figuring this out. I'm just happy that I am somewhere I belong! Link to post Share on other sites
Curi Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Nothing is wrong with you.It's hard for most people to understand who we are. But we get it. Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
dee615 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 1 hour ago, Nordic Rugged said: I just recently came to the conclusion that I am asexual. It is a very weird thing to still think about but I am getting used to the idea of having something that I can call this orientation. I always thought there was something wrong with me but it does make it feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders after figuring this out. I'm just happy that I am somewhere I belong! Welcome! Reading a lot of posts here, I have gotten the same impression about a lot of folks here. And I definitely count myself among them. When I was dating in my 20's and 30's I attributed my lack of sexual feelings to the stressors of being in college - first as an undergrad, then changing programs several times in grad school. I was physically healthy, had never been sexually traumatized, wasn't depressed or on any kind of meds, and didn't grow up in an overly repressive family. So what WAS the matter? Anyway, I gave up dating in my late 30's and felt much happier. Even when my circumstances changed for the better - getting secure employment in a workplace and locale I like - I continued feeling the same way. Well, a few years ago I found this website, and everything clicked into place! I hope that with the recent spate of increase in public awareness about the spectrum of gender and sexual orientations, being asexual is getting the publicity it deserves. I would hate to think of asexual young people, in particular, with most of their productive lives ahead of them, being socially coerced into romantic/ sexual relationships and tormenting themselves about their lack of interest in romance and/ or sex. If this site helps spare at least some of them years of misery and emotional, logistical, and fiscal complications of living a false life to comply with social norms, I would consider this a tremendous public service. And, as I have mentioned in several of my posts here, it is very possible to live a full and meaningful life without a partner. Find an occupation, hobbies, pets, interests, causes that appeal to you, and a few good friends who accept that you are not interested in relationships. (They don't need to know any further, if you wish to keep the matter private.) This is my life, and I am very content with it. If people ask you why you are not in relationship, or offer to fix you up, just tell them that your work, etc. use up too much of your time and energy for a relationship. Be polite, but firm. Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 51 minutes ago, Nordic Rugged said: I always thought there was something wrong with me but it does make it feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders after figuring this out. Welcome! I definitely understand this feeling. I'm still working through things, but I've always assumed my issues with sex and relationships were due to mental health issues. The idea that I might just be wired that way is a relief. It makes me feel less broken. Link to post Share on other sites
Nordic Rugged Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 3 minutes ago, Claire1983 said: It makes me feel less broken. Me too. I always thought that there was something that needed to be fixed. I am slowing realizing that nothing needs to be fixed with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Just now, Nordic Rugged said: Me too. I always thought that there was something that needed to be fixed. I am slowing realizing that nothing needs to be fixed with me. I definitely have a few things that need to be fixed, but that's one less and it's a big one! Also understanding exactly why I feel the way I do about sex will be a big help in trying to figure out how to move forward if I want to seek out a relationship, Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Welcome! You’re not broken, you’re not weird, and you’re not wrong. You’re you, and you’re perfect just the way you are Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
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