Luthienb Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi dear person reading this! I'm a 22 year old and the past couple of months I slowly started to realise that maybe I'm asexual. I never had time for any dating and always thought I was just a late bloomer. I moved to London in June and started dating because I felt like I finally had to do what all my friends where doing: finding a partner, but it's been very hard on me. I forced myself into very uncomfortable situations hoping that I would start to feel something but I just don't. I tried to talk to friends but it seems that no one really understands and I just feel so confused, alone and a bit broken. This is my first time reaching out to people who hopefully understand what I feel. So please feel free to talk to me, I think I really need it. Link to post Share on other sites
SpeakoftheDevil Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi there! I know exactly how you feel. I always assumed the whole "feeling attracted to people and wanting to do the sex to them" thing would just eventually kick in, but it never did. Dated for a while and it was so very awkward. It is hard to talk to friends about it because it's so hard to explain your positionality and how you see the world so differently from them. I don't think I started identifying as asexual so much as I thought "oh yeah that's what that is okay" I just got the language to use to explain ALL the things I couldn't before Link to post Share on other sites
banoffeepie Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi and welcome! Sadly it's probably not worth telling a whole bunch of people. I've never bothered, no one gets it... or if they pretend to they are thinking something else. I acted like a normal guy during my twenties .. I was not really sure what was 'wrong' with me. I'd get into damn awkward situations just because I wanted to be seen leaving a club, bar whatever with someone. I found partners who weren't very demanding and kind of patched something together. All through that I never told anyone. Both my ex wives simply think I'm gay. It's easier to leave them thinking that. I too felt ... feel broken. That goes away when you are talking to similar people. Coming here is amazing... everyone gets it! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Welcome! Don’t force yourself to do things that you’re not comfortable with. I know societal pressure is hard to deal with, but it’s important to go at your own pace and find what’s right for you. Don’t push yourself too hard, okay? Also, hello from Gatwick airport Link to post Share on other sites
Curi Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hello Luthienb! You're not broken and you're not alone. Take your time with it, no one is rushing you. Welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
mak Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Hello friend! I am so glad to have you here! This whole society of pushing sex and relationships can make things hard and confusing but just push on, everything will turn out. Relax and roam the site a bit, there is a place for everybody (my favorite is the pun thread). Hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy some cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Welcome. I've done the forcing myself into romantic situations bit. I'm glad that you've discovered asexuality sooner than I did so that maybe you won't spend so many years feeling like a failure the way I did. At lot of people here have had similar experiences so you're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. Don't force yourself if you're not feeling it. But do have some cake. Link to post Share on other sites
eternalloli Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Welcome, that has been me for the past six months. I realized that I tried to be in relationships and I realized that sex wasn't anything I wanted in any of them. I just wanted to be with them. I totally ruined one with one of my high school boyfriends. It's hard when you are still figuring things out. We're here for you if you need someone to chat with. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
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