Curi Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hey! I'm here to talk to other people who understand asexuality. Last month I found out that I am asexual. I haven't come out to my friends and family because I'm afraid they won't understand. I don't want a sexual relationship. It's confusing, but part of me doesn't want a relationship at all. But I do want someone who matters. Someone close. Someone who knows how this feels. I look forward to talking with people who can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
Gldlynch Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hey Curi Welcome to AVEN! Make yourself at home. It's okay to be questioning your sexuality and being confused by your emotions, frankly it's something that many of us go through. When you say you sometimes don't want a relationship at all, it may mean you are also on the aromantic spectrum. You may not come across people everyday who declare they are aro and/ or ace, but the feeling is not a weird one, quite the opposite actually, your identity is totally valid (: Link to post Share on other sites
johnnybluecollar Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi, Curi. I've also recently accepted that asexuality is a part of my identity. Being forty and in a relationship with the mother of my child makes for an interesting "coming out" talk. I've asked myself who else, if anyone, I should tell. Who else really needs to know? I won't throw a bunch of advice at you. Instead, I'll encourage you to honor yourself first. Now that we've become aware of this aspect of ourselves, I feel that we have a responsibility to value it and invest in it. I've spent so much of my life acting and pretending and behaving certain ways because it was expected of me; conditioned to perform the role of a boyfriend and husband. And it's been exhausting. Inauthentic and not genuine. So be authentic. Be genuine. Be vulnerable with those that are worth it and will value your truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Welcome! Sorry if I’m a bit late to the party It’s okay if you don’t want to come out to your family and friends just yet. There’s no rush, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing it you shouldn’t force yourself to. If you want to come out then take small steps first. Scout their opinion on similar topics, find some resources to help explain it, and be honest about how you feel. I believe in you, we all do! Link to post Share on other sites
Orianaro Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Welcome Curi! The disinclination for a relationship at all does sound like its somewhere aromantic... I myself am aromantic and asexual, and I completely get what you mean when you say you want someone emotionally close. Being lower on either of those spectrums doesn't mean we can't love people or means we want to less, and it definitely means we don't want close relationships any less. I hope you have fun exploring yourself and interacting with people here (they're all awesome) Link to post Share on other sites
mak Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Hello new friend! Glad to have you here and hope everything is doing great over in NC. Questioning is normal and so is not wanting to come out to family and friends. I am just taking one day at a time and it seems to be working. I hope to goodness those are your dogs because then we are automatically friends, if they are not, that is okay too. Hope you are having a majestical day and can enjoy this lovely cake! Link to post Share on other sites
Curi Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 5 hours ago, mak said: I hope to goodness those are your dogs because then we are automatically friends. Haha. The one begging for a piece of biscuit is Daisy. She's my fuzzbutt. The other dog is Molly, she belongs to a friend of mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Claire1983 Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Welcome! Not to be creeping on your profile, but I noticed you're also in North Carolina so I wanted to say hi! Fellow comic and anime nerd here as well! I can relate to what you're saying. I just started questioning if I could be ace and now I'm trying to separate out sexual attraction from romantic attraction and all that. It's confusing, but this site has been a bit help. Feel free to message me if you ever want to talk! Link to post Share on other sites
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