gbuf45 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Hi so I am biologically a female but some days I don't want to be. Some days I look in the mirror and think I feel wrong. Other days I'm fine and I feel perfectly female.Up until I've always excepted the gender roles society gives us based on our birth up but that doesn't change the fact of that some days I really don't think I'm a girl. I keep thinking that I'm weird or I'll grow out of it but that doesn't change that some days I can't bring myself to look in the mirror because I don't like how I look. I don't necessarily want to be a guy but I don't want to be a girl. I want to try binding on those days to see if that helps but I'm scared of what my family or the people I know will say. I feel like I'm breaking apart. So if anyone has any advice at all I would be extremely grateful. Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Holy crap, you and I are in the SAME. EXACT. BOAT. Thank god, I'm not alone in this life raft. Anyways, sounds to me like you're genderfluid, here's a link so you can get a better understanding of it, hopefully it helps:http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Fluid Some days, I'm like you and I'm fine being female, in fact I feel a little proud of it. Put on makeup, dress up, what have you. Just have all the fun in the world with it. But other days kind of suck, my "male days", where I have to force myself to look in the mirror when I'm getting ready in the morning because I can't stand how feminine I look. I dress down, won't touch the makeup, and get a little despondent knowing I don't pass for male/am not male. But at the same time, I'm kind of terrified to go full male because of not knowing what would happen if I did, like, how would my family treat me? How would the public treat me? What would be expected of me? Don't know if I'm ready for that. So yeah, I feel you, it's freaking TERRIFYING. But at least you're not alone in your confusion. I think just talking about it with someone who gets it goes a long way in feeling better/more confident about it. Maybe even stop you from just kind of spiraling out when the dysphoria/confusion hits HARD. I really hope this helps you, even if it's just a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
gbuf45 Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 Thanks its nice to know that there is someone out there who understands I thought about the fact of being gender fluid. But I come from a religious family and they've already said that they don't want us dressing in anything other than our biological gender clothing. And I hate doing that some days wearing a dress is fine but other day's i feel so uncomfortable in one like you just asked me too walk around in just a shirt. On days like this I would love to bind my chest and put my hair up and under a beanie and go around like that because i feel much more comfortable in gender neutral clothing. Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 Are your parents okay with you wearing just a t-shirt and jeans? Cause maybe that could cut down on the dysphoria while, in a way, maintaining social acceptability in their eyes. I mean, best thing to do ideally, would be to just to come out and be who you are, but I totally understand that isn’t always possible as it should be, hence the above suggestion. Just know you’ll always find acceptance on here. 🍰 And update, I just bought a back support brace to use as a binder and it’s really not so bad. I was actually pretty stoked to wear it because it felt so natural having a flat chest. Maybe now, I won’t be so freaked out to showcase my masculine side in public if it makes me this happy. Ooh, maybe you could wear a binder/support brace with your dresses? Maybe that could also cut down on your dysphoria. Like an internal compromise where if you ABSOLUTELY have to wear feminine clothing, you get to tone down how you look in it? If none of my suggestions seem feasible, you could always PM me if you need to vent or whatever. In fact, there’s a TransWhatevers thread on here for people like us to find shelter, solidarity, and support that I’m finding pretty helpful in coming to terms with myself/assuaging any fears I may have. ❤️ On 3/11/2018 at 9:42 AM, gbuf45 said: Thanks its nice to know that there is someone out there who understands I thought about the fact of being gender fluid. But I come from a religious family and they've already said that they don't want us dressing in anything other than our biological gender clothing. And I hate doing that some days wearing a dress is fine but other day's i feel so uncomfortable in one like you just asked me too walk around in just a shirt. On days like this I would love to bind my chest and put my hair up and under a beanie and go around like that because i feel much more comfortable in gender neutral clothing. Okay yeah, that sounds ✨AMAZING✨. Like, that honestly sounds like the perfect day to me. Sorry if that was totally off topic, but reading that just really made me smile. Probably because I prefer gender neutral clothing too. Fits well with my oscillating tomboyish/feminine mindset. 😙 Link to post Share on other sites
gbuf45 Posted March 12, 2018 Author Share Posted March 12, 2018 14 hours ago, Pixley said: Are your parents okay with you wearing just a t-shirt and jeans? Cause maybe that could cut down on the dysphoria while, in a way, maintaining social acceptability in their eyes. I mean, best thing to do ideally, would be to just to come out and be who you are, but I totally understand that isn’t always possible as it should be, hence the above suggestion. I usually do wear jeans and a t-shirt and my family is fine with that but my family doesn't believe in any other gender besides male and female and so I'm afraid to tell them I'm considering on telling my brother who is gay and a supporter of other genders. I'm also trying out binding with sports bras to see if that helps and it does make me feel so much better. As well as I don't have to tell them while I'm not ready. Link to post Share on other sites
PixleyDust✨ Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 I say if there’s anyone in your family who’s going to be understanding of your situation, definitely talk to them. Even if they can’t personally relate, having even just one person in your life who is on your side/can vent to will do wonders for your emotional wellbeing. But having brothers myself, I understand how awkward it can be to open up to your siblings emotionally. Especially when it comes to stuff as intimate as this. 😳 And I’m so glad to hear you’re able to use binders and that they’re working in making your situation at least a little better! 😊 And I agree, you don’t have to tell anyone if you feel you’re not ready. Coming out should be an empowering moment for you, not an obligation or a confession. ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
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