MoraDollie Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 If you say “lesbian/gay” people seem to think (even in the lgbt community) that this means exclusive attraction to the same sex across ALL types of attraction (romantic, sensual, alterous, sexual, etc) when in reality “gay/lesbian” is technically just another way to say “homosexual” which means SEXUAL ATTRACTION ONLY. Is it still “correct” to say gay/lesbian if their sexual attraction is towards the same sex, but romantically they’re also interested in other genders and sexes ? (Or hell, homosexual heteroromantic). If a lesbian says “I’m dating a guy” or a gay person says “I’m dating a woman” they’re immediately attacked :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Polygon Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Spoiler Overthinking it. Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 27 minutes ago, Kumoku said: s it still “correct” to say gay/lesbian if their sexual attraction is towards the same sex, but romantically they’re also interested in other genders and sexes ? No. Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Welcome to the world of bisexuality! It's ok, we also like cake. Link to post Share on other sites
CarlosFT Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I thought I was the only one who thought about this!!!!!!! There are so many terms, and they can be defined in so many ways, that this is very difficult, but necessary. I totally agree with you, we should all know the differences between these attractions, but allosexuals think that it's all like a big ball that includes everything. And that originates a big problem, and the best expample is the 'Love is love' motto. Please let me explain. Of course, everyone should be able to love whoever they want. I will never say otherwise. But the thing is that by using that motto, they are saying that sexual attraction is love, and they are forgetting about all other kinds of attraction and of love. And this is wrong! Sexual attraction is about sex (duh! It's in the name!). And of course nobody should feel ashamed of their sexual orientation, it's a part of who they are! But sexual attraction has nothing to do with love. That's why there can be (and there is) sex without love and love without sex. They are independent!! And moreover, that motto says: no matter who you "love", you are valid. And what about those who don't "love" anyone????!!!!! Is it bad not to "love" anyone??? Are we less valid because of not "loving" anyone??? (please notice the quotation marks, I want to make clear the irony) It doesn't make sense! And it doesn't help the ace and aro communities at all, because it reinforces the "allo" normativity. Ugh, it's so annoying... I think you'll all undertsand Oh, and by the way, you should all check out this article about erasure of asexuality. It's the best study on aseuxality erasure I've ever seen! I think I should post it on a new thread for everyone to see... https://academiccommons.columbia.edu/catalog/ac:vhhmgqnkcq Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 that's a good question. I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 1 hour ago, Chimeric said: Welcome to the world of bisexuality! It's ok, we also like cake. but I'm certainly not bisexual. even tho I'm biromantic I'm most definitely not bisexual. sexuality-wise, I am homosexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 10 minutes ago, float on said: but I'm certainly not bisexual. even tho I'm biromantic I'm most definitely not bisexual. sexuality-wise, I am homosexual. Yeh, I've always used the term "bisexual" despite experiencing virtually no sexual attraction and asymmetric romantic attraction. People generally know what you're talking about either way, and I tend to be more of a "lumper" than a "splitter" when it comes to labels. The fewer words, the better, imo. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 If you're a dude and like dudes (in more than just a friendshippy way), you're gay as far as I'm concerned. Doesn't matter in what other way you like them. Quote If a lesbian says “I’m dating a guy” or a gay person says “I’m dating a woman” they’re immediately attacked :/ Because people will automatically interpret that to mean in a sexual way though, because sexual orientation is the only kind of orientation they know about. If you're homosexual heteroromantic, it's probably just going to be "simpler" to call yourself bi. Handy thing about it; you don't necessarily have to mean bisexual either, so it's not like you're lying! Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 I honestly think the large majority of the world makes too much of a fuss about people's orientation. Call yourself what you think suits you IMO. forget the people who berate you for it. the only peopele it matters for is you and your partners Link to post Share on other sites
Yeast Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 My own experiences with the LGBT community suggests lesbians can have what may be romantic attractions to the opposite sex. I prefer the company of women but the fact I'm not sexually attracted to them has ended many relationships. The lesbians I know enjoy my company quite a lot and know I'm asexual. I am very grateful that I don't have to worry about sex complicating our association. Indeed my friends may even come to love me since it's been pointed out rather well that sex and love are not the same thing. The asexual women I've met might also grow quite fond of me. I may come to love them. My lesbian friends too. Link to post Share on other sites
MoraDollie Posted March 11, 2018 Author Share Posted March 11, 2018 This post isn't about my particular case but I thought it'd be a good post to throw out there for people to think about because I know that kind of situation applies to a lot of people. Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Terms are used to communicate with other people. If you're likely to be misunderstood, you'll make your life easier by choosing clearer terms to communicate. Using "technically correct" terms won't help you when you get attacked for it. And telling angry people that they are the ones using the terms incorrectly is not going to calm them, no matter how right you are. When in Rome, speak as the Romans do Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 10 hours ago, float on said: I honestly think the large majority of the world makes too much of a fuss about people's orientation. Call yourself what you think suits you IMO. forget the people who berate you for it. the only peopele it matters for is you and your partners I agree that who you choose to love is a matter for you and your partner, but the words that we use to communicate with the rest of the world are important. There is a really good example of this on the other discussion thread that is remarkably similar to this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Quartz Posted March 12, 2018 Share Posted March 12, 2018 It's different for either term, actually. "Lesbian" is a term that can only be claimed by women who are exclusively attracted to other women and/or feminine-identifying people. It's generally very frowned upon for a woman with genuine sexual and/or romantic attraction towards men (genuine meaning that it's not compulsory heterosexuality, she's comfortable with the attraction, etc.) to claim to be a lesbian. "Gay", on the other hand, has developed into a sort of umbrella term, being that it's been used as one for many decades (in terms such as "gay rights", "gay marriage", etc.). Generally, anyone who experiences same-gender attraction can rightfully claim to be gay, whether or not they're strictly attracted to the same gender, or bi or pan or whatever else. It's worth mentioning that many people who claim both labels, "bi/pan" and "gay", are often simply more attracted to the same gender than other genders, and that's usually why they identify as gay. Note: This is according to my observations of the LGBT community, and the queer community within it, as an avid member who's interacted with countless others. I'm not claiming it as complete and total fact, but this is generally how things go in the communities I've participated in. Link to post Share on other sites
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