Hello!

[Pallid]

So it's taken me a while to register and then actually say something because I'm very bad at communication, but....I feel like I shouldn't just be that weird lurker.

 

I'm Holly, but I go by Pallid online because I used to work nights and that meant I didn't see a lot of sun in the winter times. I'm Canadian, currently in Southern Ontario, but I'll probably move again once I have my Masters degree because I miss the mountains.

 

It took me a long time to figure out I might be asexual. I had heard of it, thought it fit me, but was always scared of saying it out loud because that would mean I was accepting that I would never find a partner/love interest and would be alone forever. For a while I thought I was interested in females and it was just my religious background that was repressing me from saying I was homosexual, but then I felt attracted to some men again, and I am no longer really religious. So I guess that makes me biromantic? I just never wanted to get into a relationship with a male because I was scared that it was always going to lead to sex, and I just didn't want that. 

 

Aaannyway. It helps to know that this is a place where there are other people who are searching for answers about the same things I've always asked myself. I hope I can make some friends or at least lurk around enough to feel more comfortable with who I am and not feel so weird and awkward.

[StreetlightDawn]

Welcome!   I totally relate to a lot of what you've said. I too was scared to accept I was asexual because I thought it meant a lonely, partnerless life.  But I've been assured here that that doesn't have to be the case.  I hope you find it helpful here!

[eternalloli]

It's alright, I'm only just starting to go though that as well. I only joined two or three days ago. It's a step by step process. Labels are hard understanding your own labels are really hard. So take it slow. Chat with people. I am trying to figure things out as well. If you need to talk I'm here. Also here is a slice of cake 

[awkward_one34]

Welcome to AVEN! Have some cake. I hope you find what you're looking for.

[Claire1983]

You're never alone if you have cake   People will always join you for cake.

[Pallid]

Thanks guys! I know that it doesn't have to be a lonely life, it's just one of those things that I'm started to question myself about. Cake is good. I like cake, but now I have to eat gluten free cake and it's sometimes hard to sell other people on when regular cake is really delicious. Yay for being celiac.

[Lichley]

Welcome! Don’t worry about lurking, a lot of people lurk before joining up to see if the site is right for them, and to make themselves more comfortable with the idea of joining. You don’t have to post I feel you don’t want to, you can just look, but if you feel like adding something, or asking something then you now have the ability to do so!  

[Zhev]

Welcome, lurking is fine, but generally we are a kinda friendly bunch, at least depending on the section of the forum, so don't be afraid to hang out if you want to. And have some more cake 

[Lia]

Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! 

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

[LouiseHope]

My dad has just gone gluten, lactose, and rice free. We are now experimenting with bread and cake recipes. Some very nice but usually very crumbly. In the UK and in Spain there are actually a lot of gluten free products as standard in supermarkets. Life as a lactose intolerant has certainly become much easier for me over the last 10 years. Actually, in Spain, it is even better because 'normal/standard' products are made with soy rather than milk because of the historical issues with curdling in the heat here.

 

I know what you mean about religious upbringing. I remember being 16 and wanting to cuddle up with my best friend and worrying that meant I was a lesbian. My parents are accepting of our personal choices where they not in line with their hopes for us, but being gay would be a huge stressor on our relationships. Part of my relief in determining I am asexual was that it was not the situation where I am repressing homosexual feelings because of wanting to remain in line with my family's views. Being asexual is a perfectly reasonable option in my Christain upbringing, probably better than any other option really. My sister who is a sexual had to face discussing her choices regards to sex outside of marriage which is considered the gold standard in our upbringing. My parents support our choices but I certainly feel like I got the easier path!