SilentRose Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I recently had a conversation with my sister where I revealed I just have never really wanted to have sex, ever. She insisted I was probably a late bloomer and would develop it in a few years. The thing is, I'm 23 now. Isn't it too late to just suddenly develop sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Not necessarily, no. You can find people here for whom it happened later than that. As cliche (and irritating) as the whole "you just haven't met the right person" thing usually is for most of us, every so often it does end up being true. Link to post Share on other sites
Robin Hood Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 You are not too old, because sexuality can be fluid. While some people have the same sexuality for their entire lives, others change as they age. This is true of ALL sexualities, and you should not be singled out as an asexual or feel any pressure to change because of it. It doesn't make what you feel RIGHT NOW any less valid. You can still identify as ACE! Even if it does change that doesn't mean you weren't ACE before. No one should make you feel lesser even if your identity does change. Be aware that asexuality is diverse. Some people are fully asexual. Other's are Grey asexual, experiencing sexual attraction extremely rarely, Some people are Demisexual, which means they only feel sexual attraction to people after being in love with their partner for a period of time. All of these are valid! This conversation is common for Asexuals. People often assume that it is "Just a Phase" of that you "Just haven't found what you are into yet." These statements can be hurtful and make people doubt themselves. Don't let it get to you. Just identify using what ever term makes you feel comfortable. You know yourself best! Hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Tirisilex Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I was sexually attracted to girls from 13 to 31 I then grew out of having sexual feelings at all.. I lost any desire to have sex. I became Asexual. I believe if I can change at 31 you can also possibly change as you get older even if it's from being Asexual to sexual. It works both ways. However, there is still the chance you may not change either. Link to post Share on other sites
Kersenne Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I'm 23 too and have been told the same thing Recently, I met this lady who told me that a woman's sexuality really bloomed when they got into their 30s. I can't say whether that's fact or just talk, but it does say something: nothing is set for life. I know I have never wanted sex up till now, I might never want sex, but hey, it might change over time. It might or might change for you, only time will say but honestly, I wouldn't fret too much about it, what will happen will happen! Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 It's not impossible to develop sexual attraction at twenty-something or even later. However, the real issue is not whether you could develop it or not, but how you feel about your current asexuality. If you accept it, if you wouldn't like it to change, don't be afraid to identify as asexual and to tell your sister that it's your life and that you just don't need sex in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Trolley Girl Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 At 31, I never really get that classic “you’ll grow into it” line of B/S, but rather say that I’ve “wasted my youth” or “Awww, too bad!” On the flip side, they’ll just assume I am too damn busy with other things. 31 is still very young by today’s standards, but as far as sexual attraction goes, I’ve already dived into the black hole, past the point of no return. Give it some time, and they’ll learn to put a sock in it! 😝 Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 At 58, I never grew into it yet! Link to post Share on other sites
wavewall Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Like others have said, it's possible but not inevitable. I heard a lot of it through to my late 20s--first in the form of "you're a late bloomer" and then those "you just haven't met the right one yet" sorts of things. After my 20s, most people stopped making those comments. I still catch the latter one every now and then, but I'm so far from puberty that folks have to accept I just bloomed in other ways Link to post Share on other sites
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