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Lord Jade Cross

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46 minutes ago, Perspektiv said:

Sadly so. Worked with a ton of people who were blind to it. Stuck in their misery, and changed their approach hundreds of times, but not their attitudes. All they saw was the pointlessness of everything. The banalities of life.

 

I see a co-worker like that and I either quit, or pressure boss to have them fired.

 

Negative mindstates are highly contagious.

 

Their negativity is like a workplace cancer that just sucks the life out of everyone. The sad part is everyone smiles in their faces and employers avoid conflict as they typically are highly narcissistic.

Yeah, I've experienced a lot of these people too :/ Even as young as I am, there are a lot of teens with a "life sucks, then you die" mindset. My best friend "broke up" with me for being "too positive" 

We all die in the end, but the "life sucks" part is essentially a self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe life sucks, you will notice the sucky things more. But the opposite is also true. That's why I try to seek things that are beautiful and remember noticing those.

 

It seems to me that attitude can affect how you see the world, and how you see the world can affect attitude.

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2 hours ago, StormySky said:

My best friend "broke up" with me for being "too positive" 

Yeah, I've annoyed people before in the good moods I'd wake up in, during the morning.

Essentially, some even questioning whether I was on drugs or not.

I'll literally sing my way to work.

 

2 hours ago, StormySky said:

It seems to me that attitude can affect how you see the world, and how you see the world can affect attitude.

I definitely would agree, as have been on both sides of this. I used to have a major chip on my shoulder. Didn't matter where I worked, what I did. The world sucked. My life sucked. I was just: "counting down days", as some would tell me. I despised happy people, or happy couples. They made me sick. I'd almost smile, when hearing someone was having relationship issues, on some validation on me knowing how idiotic love was.

 

I remember overhearing co-workers talking about: "OMG, that guy is *so* grumpy!" and quickly realizing this was me they were talking about--quite accurately, even.

 

They were all smiles and friendship to my face, but behind the back, were almost wishing for my death. I get it. Most people are like this, but my existence was literally weighing them down. I didn't even get upset, as it was nice for a change hearing how people truly felt about me. I'm very self-aware, so will be grateful for being pointed in the right direction, even though at first I despise the method used to spark that change.

 

Definitely didn't happen overnight, but made major changes in my life, that improved my outlook in it.

 

I now see an in love couple, and can't help but smile. Happy people tend to make me want to smile back. I see a miserable person, and try to throw some sunshine their way. Obviously, some want nothing to do with it, but I remembered how it felt like to feel like the world was on your shoulders and nobody gives a shit about you.

 

Literally feeling like a piece of garbage, until you improve your attitude and now all of a sudden I'm insanely approachable!?

 

I get people approaching me all the time, now. Even kids approach me. In the past, I'd scare kids.

 

I mean, the other day this kid tugged at my pants, to show me his Moana doll. 20 years ago, I would've shot him a dirty: "dude, fuck off" look. I think the dad probably anticipating this, was about to scold his kid. I just hunkered down, and complimented him on his awesome doll, and asked him about it to his father's utter shock.

 

I literally lifted an immense weight off of my shoulders as a youth, that was weighing me down for years.

 

I made peace with a lot of people. Told everyone who meant anything to me, that I loved them. Life is really too short.

 

I'm appreciative, for every breath and day that I get.

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To quote my profile:

 

"I'm not a half full or half empty person, but rather I'll just get a smaller cup (the moral being making the most of what one has)."

 

Why waste energy on what I don't have? It makes no practical sense to me. Its something you'll learn from travel to any third world country. You're dealing with people in absolutely dire life situations. Conditions, quickly reminding of how unfair this planet and the ugly side of capitalism is. However, you'll talk to many of these people, and wonder how they can possibly still keep a positive outlook for many. Many will remind you. They have nothing, other than their hope. I was reminded by some: "We have nothing, so we're always hopeful. You have everything so, always wish for more."

 

Their happiness, is putting a meal on the table for their kids (per day). This genuinely makes them extremely happy.

 

I've encountered tons of people like this, that definitely humbled me. Being invited to a stranger's house for dinner. Complete and utter poverty, yet made me a feast. Their positivity was infectious. I wondered: "How can you be happy in these conditions?!" Definitely eye opening, to see people be happy having things I take for granted. A meal. A roll of toilet paper, which needs to be used very wisely.

 

Their conditions were irrelevant, because they focused on what truly was important.

 

Sometimes one has to lose everything, to see it.

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16 hours ago, StormySky said:

Even as young as I am, there are a lot of teens with a "life sucks, then you die" mindset.

You almost feel sorry for someone to already have given up on life that young. Essentially so buried in their problems, they can't remove themselves from thinking about them, and they become their focus.

 

However, negativity is a choice. Nothing wrong with ranting about something, but for someone to make it their full time mentality--is quite sad, considering the choice having been made to do so.

 

You feel sorry for someone who's literally unable to see the brighter side of things. However, due to their choice, it makes it harder to feel any sympathy for them.

 

I think its even more sad, if they're oblivious to their situation being a culmination of their poor choices, like the teens you likely have encountered. I grew up in city slums, so was surrounded by negative people. Worse even, people so negative, they stopped bothering to try (to the point they lost their sense of dignity, peeing in elevators, living in filth etc), yet tried to justify their situation via excuses and blaming others but themselves.

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Also, to add to my above points. To me, there is a major difference between ranting about a bad day, a bad environment and overall, just being a toxic negative person.

 

The latter will be blind to any sunlight. The first two types, will notice it and still have an appreciation for the fact it is there. The latter, will crush anyone who believes in that sunlight. Their darkness is the only thing that exists. Anyone believing anything else, needs to be called on it, and their noses rubbed into their idiocy. This will be done, until their negativity seeps into the mindsets of those positive people. Main reason why the toxic ones need to be removed from a company, before you start seeing higher absenteeism, morale dropping and other issues you could resolve in terminating such staff.

 

In sports, this type is called a locker room cancer. The apple that spoils the batch, if more philosophical.

 

Employers need to accept, some are content with their misery and can't be re-trained, or "fixed". This is their choice. Colleagues shouldn't be punished for it.

 

I've mercifully only worked with two people like this in my lifetime!

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I love my life, and will keep living my days like it was my last. I'm happy with things to the point if I went tomorrow, I'd have zero regrets and nothing I'd do-over differently.

 

Boggles the mind why one would worry about small stuff, constantly. I feel sorry for such people.

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I've yet to encounter a person who didn't view each day like that, who wasn't at the epicenter of their own woes, via their negative attitudes. Whenever I see a "dark clouds above head" type, I can almost guarantee it, that their attitude or negativity is to blame for their horrible luck.

 

I mean, I've been to some of the poorest countries on the planet, and met more happy go lucky people there. So circumstances, aren't an excuse. I grew up in the projects, and knew a lot of people where I lived. Know tons of people, who are insanely successful now. Know tons, who still live in those very projects. Same environment, different attitudes.

 

Especially in a western country, where you could pretty much start a business with very little to your name.

 

"I can't", is often translatable to: "I don't really want to", considering the volume of sacrifice involved with being successful at anything in life. Status quo, is a lot more comfortable. Failure to me, is an accepted state of mind. You accept you will fail, and ultimately will do so. You only accept success, and eventually will succeed.

 

I view "I can't", like my sister's son as a toddler telling me he couldn't tie his own shoe laces. He would lash out at her, so she had asked me to help him as she knew I was very patient.

 

He made dozens of identical attempts, but was confident in his assessment. He quit, before he even started. I gave him tons of encouragement, and changed his attitude. Now, he felt he could do it. He eventually did. The ear to ear smile on his face, to him was worth the struggle to get there.

 

I see it no different than a boxer who'd lose to Tyson in his prime. They already knew the match was over, before it started. It would be clear in their discouraged body language. It took people who knew they would beat him, to actually do so. One of which, a highly inferior boxer on paper (Buster Douglas). However, there was no way he was being denied.

 

He overcame impossible odds, and knocked Tyson out. Difference, is he was crazy enough to know he'd win.

 

The Law of Attraction is a good book, that delves into the power one gives themselves through simply believing they will achieve something and following through with the necessary action, now that the right attitude is in place. Its crazy the sense of direction one gets in life, the additional energy level obtained, in knowing you can do something. Essentially, fine tuning your brain to minimize the setbacks, and only set sights on the goal.

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2 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

Positivity never got me anything except dissapointment.

Negativity is equally contagious. However, you did ask about a positive statement in your original post, hence my comment. Just because you can't see the sunshine in the world, does not mean it ceases to exist. You keep focusing on your woes, but many in the thread, have told you they have had great success with their positive ways of thinking. You are more than welcome to see the world the way you see fit, but I hate to say it--but there are two sides to every story. That "live each day like it's your last" quote as a result, may not make sense to you, but will to anyone who lives as positively as I do if not more.

 

6 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

We can keep going at this till our deaths with no result other than typing.

Positive people tend to live longer. I'm just saying..

 

6 hours ago, Jade Cross said:

And from your own words, youve quit jobs as soon as something or someone, you dont like, arises.

I've actually quit jobs when a better opportunity came along. If taking a role that pays me 20, 000$ more a year (and overall, being a more challenging and better role) makes me a coward or a person with a weak backbone, I'll take the label and laugh my way to the bank with it. If anyone tried to ridicule me about it, I'd just retort with: "Dude, I make twice the salary I made 8 years ago." "I'll make twice that, in the same time span".

 

I've always had growth in my career, as well as in my salary (more importantly, my work environment). Every company I've worked in, I've risen along the ranks. I'd feel like I failed somewhere, earning the same or similar salary 10 years from now. I always set new goals, and always intend on reaching them.

 

I've almost quit because of a co-worker, but never actually have. I put pressure on my employer to fire them, which they eventually did, buckling under my pressure. I had put forth a lengthy paper trail, and involved all higher ups in the company (including HR), making it clear I was fighting this legally, or they were going to do what's right.

 

This isn't just an employee I "didn't like". We're talking someone who'd spit inside the building, yell and cuss at his bosses, and was violent almost getting into fist fights with clients (literally having to physically pull both apart, several times). Highly mercurial, and verbally abusive, calling female staff "broads" or "fucking dishwasher" to their faces, ordering some to do his dishes, as his means of being funny. Only poking and prodding and laughing at them, as they'd get highly upset at him. Their anger, was his joy. He was an insanely miserable person, so this just gave him the satisfaction he was looking for.

 

Everyone had to keep in line, knowing if they retaliated at his level, they'd get fired for poor behavior (I learned this the hard way, getting into a nasty yelling match with him, inches from his face, daring him to move me, calling him a fucking coward as he eyed the ground finding out I had far more fire in me than he had anticipated with my soft spoken nature).

 

I got sat down in my bosses office, for poor behavior. He made it clear he was insanely disappointed in my behavior, because I "knew better", and that he didn't think I was capable of this ("you're such a nice guy, that's just not you"). The co-worker? He basically conceded, that he was insanely hard to deal with, but: "we're stuck with him, so you will have to improve your behavior, as that was unacceptable" to my utter confusion. I used every ounce of willpower in my soul, not to punch the guy, so felt I had done a good job O_o. He had thrown an object at my leg "accidentally/on purpose", and cut my shin open, hence the out of character anger outburst.

 

His was accepted, because he was just being him. Firing him, was too difficult, apparently. However, it shook waves into the workplace morale, and absenteeism began as a result of this. Eerily enough, my manager quit, and conceded this employee played an immense role in this.

 

Quitting after developing a cyst, and having almost daily panic attacks (keeping cool, when you want to slit someone's throat, takes its toll on you), well documented in my emails (which my doctor confirmed was due to insanely high levels of stress--my job was stressful enough as it was), doesn't make me a coward, or someone without a backbone. It makes me sane. This wasn't a 1 month struggle. We're talking years, here. I had a TIA (or mini-stroke if you may) last year, and am positive this was the after effects of having worked with such a person. I'm 35!

 

My health was in shambles, plus I dealt with the death of my mother, not too long after.

 

Me quitting in such settings, is fair. Everyone has a breaking point. I'm not ignoring that fact.

 

You can call me a coward any day of the week, and I'll smile and take it, with pride.

 

However, this doesn't erase the fact that even the above, hasn't done nothing to my positive nature. I'm still strong, and still positive. My attitude is untouchable. Main reason I still have positive things happen to me in my life.

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Sooo... back to the original point: maybe this quote is an interpritation of "live like ther's no tomorrow." I feel like it's always good to stop getting so caught up in tomorrow and appreciate today. I know people who always live a step ahead; and they are THE MOST STRESSED people ever. Plans are good, but reality is chaos and trying to coordinate plans to work out perfectly is just asking for an un-fullfilled, negative experience. This universe we live in is kind of nonsensical, and one of the most amazing feelings is the realization that everything just likes to pass by in its own way and you really shouldn't take anything too seriously.

 

For example, instead of stressing about what people are going to post, or how to "win" this argument, I'm going to laugh at the fact that random people on a purple-themed website are communicating through mobile devices and there's probably somebody here toilet-typing at work or something.

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45 minutes ago, Jade Cross said:

If that somehow gets translated into being overly negative, so be it.

My best friend who opened his business sick of the same bullshit you're experiencing, pulled me aside and taught me to fight wiser if treated unfairly.

One of his friends works as a lawyer, so I got gold advice from him. One of his major levels of expertise, was labor laws.

 

My disgruntled letters, were just that. Disgruntled. These could be used against me. He picked it apart, regarding how condescending it was. When annoyed, I get condescending. He told me to stop.Telling your boss he's an idiot, can be used against you. However, knowing how to speak, even in telling someone they're incompetent, is the best way to go.

 

He's wired like me. We deal with bullshit with humor. Doesn't mean you need to however.

 

He's dealing with the same bull, but made light of it, but the key is he refused to have it affect his spirits.

 

Kind of like my co-worker. Instead of being upset, I'd poke at the humor: "This guy parked his car inside our garage, and started smoking in it" I told him no smoking in the building, and he I swear to god looked me in the eye, and said: "I'm not in the building". "I'm in my car". O_o

 

We've likely had to fight with similar co-workers. Similar jobs.

 

I see it like this. If you allow someone to shit on your spirits, you let them win. I won't give a person the satisfaction of getting mad at them. I'm peaceful. Either you follow my lead, or I pay you no mind.

 

I refuse to. That co-worker who was since dismissed, annoyed me not because of the "accidental" assault. It was because he took me out of character. I was angry I gave him that satisfaction. I was so upset about it. I even apologized to my employer, and promised it wouldn't happen again. This was in the office, with that co-worker, looking at me like I fucked up. I had to apologize, while he didn't. If you have pride, you can understand how aggravating this is. I was seething. However, I've been married, and this teaches you to swallow your pride in focusing on the bigger picture (in this setting, the relationship).

 

I held my word. However, the pressure I put on the HR, was relentless. I'm still fighting, but in a way where I retain my job, and he lost his.

 

You let the world turn your heart cold, you become a product of your environment, vs being the beacon of hope that changes it. Just because 95% of the people around you will be shit, and do horrible things, doesn't mean you need to, as well.

 

Only point we've been arguing about, but I think you get my point now. I'm not denying you don't have anything to be angry about.

 

Let them be bitter. Get better.

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Tabula Rasa

To me this means to develop a sense of purpose in life. Even if that purpose is to treat others as you want to be treated, you'll be remembered for that despite not achieving some big goal.

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