Do you guys feel anything during sex?

[donttalktomexc]

I’m a virgin, I wouldn’t know. Does your body respond the way it’s supposed to and you simply just don’t find it enjoyable? Or do you not feel anything at all down there? I’m asking because I don’t want to close off the possibility of a sexual relationship for future partners. I’ve tried masturbating but it doesn’t really seem to do anything. I’m probably doing it wrong, which is kinda annoying tbh.

[Kersenne]

Hi there, 

The few times I've had sex, my body responded to being stimulated (TMI below)

Spoiler

I get wet and excited and everything and my breathing gets faster

However, nothing happened in my head. I just waited for my partner to be finished, hoping it would be quick because I find no interest in the action. Not that I don't enjoy it, a part of me does - in a physical way - but my mind just doesn't get the concept of what there is to enjoy in sex. I compare sex to tickles: it makes you feel good but you don't want it at all. 

 

I guess you'll find out how it feels for you if you ever have sex. Do you know if you like being touched at all? Is there something that turns you on or are do you not like any kind of contact? It might be easier for you to know how you feel about sex if you can figure out what you like and what you don't like (sexually speaking). But in all honesty, there's no need to rush such things, if you don't ever want to have sex then that's perfectly fine, if you only want to sleep with your partner without sex, that's perfectly fine too, and if you feel sexual desire for your partner, then go for it  I can only imagine that if you really want sex with someone, both you head and body will send you signals  

[Guest]

I'm not asexual, but I don't feel anything from having my genitals stimulated from someone else, and having them stimulated doesn't make my genitals 'respond' or anything  I have to already be aroused, and have to masturbate myself with a towel during any type of sexual activity for me to be able to enjoy it. Everyone is different though! Lots of people enjoy partnered sex more than masturbation, but 1) you have to be with the right person or it could be crap sex regardless and 2) many aces do NOT enjoy partnered sex and get nothing out of it. Again, it totally depends on our own body and how it reacts to partnered stimulation!

[Philip027]

Probably?  At least, I guess it does.  It can be a nice experience, but not enough to the point where I understand what the Big Deal about it is all about.

 

Quote

I’ve tried masturbating but it doesn’t really seem to do anything.

Likewise.  The mental/emotional component (provided from my partner) needs to be there, or it's basically not really any different to me from touching my arm.  However, since I don't really seem to experience anything you could call a sex drive, I'm not the least bit fussed about this.  Either that or that IS the reason why it doesn't really seem to do anything.  SHRUG ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[lazypanda]

Do mind orgasms count as experience ?

[Philip027]

"Mind orgasm"?  So you're saying something that actually has nothing to do with sex or the sexual organs? 

[Gldlynch]

I'm yet to swipe my V-card too. Everyone makes out sex to be the ultimate lover's paradise. Even though I currently identify myself as asexual, a small part of me is hoping I may be demi or grey. I would like to understand how all of this lovey dovey stuff is supposed to be magical but if I still turn out to be 100%, more cake for all of us (:

[RottenInDenmark]

1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

Mind orgasm

maybe dopamine''. one of the chemical signal in your brain. like pleasure. can signal a positive feedback. that increases in dopamine, as your brain recognize  [insert action]  as rewarding'. But if you don’t get your pleasure from it, then dopamine can decrease, and that’s not a good feeling.

 

[Claire1983]

Everyone's body works differently.  I rather enjoy masturbation, but I've never managed to get actual sex to feel good.  I thought I was doing it wrong for the longest time and now I'm starting to think that maybe I just don't like it.  I might be worth reading up on techniques and trying some different things if you want to be sure but it could just be the way you're wired.

[Philip027]

Quote

maybe dopamine''. one of the chemical signal in your brain. like pleasure. can signal a positive feedback. that increases in dopamine, as your brain recognize  [insert action]  as rewarding'. But if you don’t get your pleasure from it, then dopamine can decrease, and that’s not a good feeling.

This topic isn't just about dopamined-up generic pleasurable feelings though, it's talking about sex specifically.  Most of these sorts of feelings are not "orgasms"

[Telecaster68]

I'm not sure if this is what @lazypanda means, but I have had situations when talking dirty, with no physical touching, that mirror neurons get somewhere in the general ballpark. It's like there's a kind of mini-post orgasm feeling, but without the initial explosive bit.

 

Or did they just mean intellectual pleasure?

[Cobie]

6 hours ago, lazypanda said:

Do mind orgasms count as experience ?

Not sure if this is what you mean, but I can have an orgasm without any physical stimulation at all. Just sitting in a public space, and without any outward physical reaction for other people to notice. 

[DJS05]

Depends whether you're asking about physical sensation or emotional. If both, then in my experience the answer is yes and no. 

 

Lets say you go into Pizza Hut. The aroma of fresh baked pizza triggers your physical sense of smell. You get a physical reaction and start drooling on the counter. Yep. Totally physical.  But say the manager offers you a job there, but it only pays $1.00 an hour. Suddenly pizza doesn't seem so enticing. The payoff isn't worth the effort required to interest you. 

 

Still confused? Yeah, me too.

[donttalktomexc]

13 hours ago, Kersenne said:

Do you know if you like being touched at all? Is there something that turns you on or are do you not like any kind of contact? It might be easier for you to know how you feel about sex if you can figure out what you like and what you don't like (sexually speaking).

I'm not really sure, honestly. I struggled with morality and sexual based OCD since I was 12 so I never really gave myself the chance to explore my preferences in a relaxed environment and when I do try it's because I'm compulsively looking for a reaction (or lack of) which ultimately impaired my perception a tad bit. I definitely have some kinks. Some of them involve me, some of them only involve person A. They're kinda weird though, I doubt I'll find anyone into them in rl. 

 

I love physical contact. I tend to be touchy with close friends or people I have feelings for without even realising it. I remember having some urges with my first boyfriend. I mostly just wanted him to grab my tits lol. It didn't particularly excite me physically, just mentally. Ironically, his libido was lower than mine so he rarely touched me in any manner. He rarely cuddled me, held my hand, he only kissed me goodbye etc. That was probably the main reason why I ended up breaking it off. He's the only person I met that made me genuinely crave his touch. It was an interesting experience, to say the least. It took a few months for me to develop those feelings though. 

[lazypanda]

3 hours ago, Thea2 said:

Not sure if this is what you mean, but I can have an orgasm without any physical stimulation at all. Just sitting in a public space, and without any outward physical reaction for other people to notice. 

Yup...thats exactly what I mean !!! 😀😀😀

I have had a few of those myself....but I'm not sure if its the same as what people feel during sex. But it fits the description of an orgasm. Lasts about like 10-20 seconds. 

I dont feel particular happy about it/enjoy the feeling itself....but my overall mood does improve after having one.

 

7 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

It's like there's a kind of mini-post orgasm feeling, but without the initial explosive bit.

I'm not sure what either an orgasm or post orgasm feeling is....but my mind orgasms feel like rhythmic contractions down there.I'm not sure if thats the same as what people experience during sex. 😞😞😞

[lazypanda]

8 hours ago, karo32 said:

maybe dopamine''. one of the chemical signal in your brain. like pleasure. can signal a positive feedback. that increases in dopamine, as your brain recognize  [insert action]  as rewarding'. But if you don’t get your pleasure from it, then dopamine can decrease, and that’s not a good feeling.

 

I do feel better after having one...so maybe thats the dopamine reward !!! 

[lazypanda]

10 hours ago, Philip027 said:

"Mind orgasm"?  So you're saying something that actually has nothing to do with sex or the sexual organs? 

It involves sexual organs but no physical touching is involved,not even my own hands. It just happens when I accidentally watch/read something erotic !!! The only stimulation is mental. I have read reports of women being able to have this kind of orgasm.

[Cobie]

4 minutes ago, lazypanda said:

... I'm not sure if thats the same as what people experience during sex. 

 I did have sex in the past, and for me the experience of the actual orgasm is the same. 😊

 

 

[lazypanda]

9 minutes ago, Thea2 said:

 I did have sex in the past, and for me the experience of the actual orgasm is the same. 😊

 

 

Omg...really ?? 😀😀😀😀

Awesome !!!! That means im not really missing out on much....despite being asexual !!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀

[Cobie]

5 minutes ago, lazypanda said:

Omg...really ?? 😀😀😀😀

Awesome !!!! That means im not really missing out on much....despite being asexual !!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀

Exactly 

[Telecaster68]

In my experience, most people's orgasms aren't the kind they could have in a public space with no-one noticing. Maybe not the full Meg Ryan, but ... people would notice, in the same way they'd notice if you had a moderately bad attack of cramps.

[squaggly]

I don't know, I'm a virgin. However I've had close calls, and I've always had to back off. Something about it was just too much for me to handle, and I had to get it to stop.

 

It just feels bad to me.

[soda59]

20 hours ago, donttalktomexc said:

I’m a virgin, I wouldn’t know. Does your body respond the way it’s supposed to and you simply just don’t find it enjoyable? Or do you not feel anything at all down there? I’m asking because I don’t want to close off the possibility of a sexual relationship for future partners. I’ve tried masturbating but it doesn’t really seem to do anything. I’m probably doing it wrong, which is kinda annoying tbh.

Okay TMI coming in !!! This is only about masturbation , though . I haven't had intercourse.

 

I used to only masturbate for about a minute at a time, and it was always just rubbing against something...About 3 or 4 years ago I got curious to try more extensive stuff...so it took me 3 months of bean flicking to get anything out of it for a longer period of time. I had to get myself used to it. At first it was too sensitive, I wasn't doing it right, etc. It takes practice too... I seriously had to persevere! 3 MONTHSSSSS!!! of consistent practice..My god, I was determined.

[soda59]

5 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

In my experience, most people's orgasms aren't the kind they could have in a public space with no-one noticing. Maybe not the full Meg Ryan, but ... people would notice, in the same way they'd notice if you had a moderately bad attack of cramps.

Yeah I definitely don't orgasm at all; but I also don't make any noise lmao.

[Janus the Fox]

I'm able to orgasm, though I don't feel anything in doing so, there's a mild physical pleasure and that's it.  The development of a relationship over the year has not improved sexual pleasure.  Various and multiple fetishes can see through sex or masturbation for me.

 

Eventually if I don't or have a long stretch of time without some release means such pleasure turns to pain only relieved through masturbation.  This is the so called "blue balls affect" in the male bodied.  Most of the time, sexual pleasure is either neutral or painful, just lacking any fun factor, again that the development of romance has not improved with.

[GLRDT]

Luckily it doesn't hurt anymore. It it did for many years for me and that's all I could focus on. I don't think it hurts for most people. Now it goes from feeling nice, to too many overwhelming sensations, to feeling like nothing depending what part of my vagina is being hit.  It's more work than I'd care to deal with but I do ot occasionally because I love my sexual partner and know it's important to him even if it's an inconvenience to me. And I can find enough nice things about it so it's not like a horrible or bad experience.