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I don't know what else to do


TheNerdyOne

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TheNerdyOne

Ho boy...back at this again...

I'm an artist - I actually run a blog and an Instagram, and I'm trying to be more regular on Twitter and YouTube. I recently started fresh with my blog on WordPress not only for the better blog hosting, but also to broaden my personality beyond just an artist. You know, express more of myself - personal, nerdy stuff for the most part.

Expressing more of myself is soon going to include my asexual side.

Because I don't even care anymore about the fear of coming out. As I said once before in these forums, all I want to be in this life is authentic. And I can't be completely authentic if I'm holding back a part of myself. I don't care what random people on the Internet may say - they don't know me, and they can't define love for me.

But the other reason why is because honestly, I have no other idea how to express my asexuality while I've yet to come out (I like to think of it as popping out of the cake for aces ;) ). I can accept and embrace my asexuality in the privacy of my own home, in my own world. But while I don't want it to be the number one thing about me, I still want to put out in the world. Because if I'm not wearing my aceness on my sleeve and loving it in the open, what good is it going to be if I do that alone? It's still keeping it inside. It's not enough for me to acknowledge myself as asexual - I want it out of my head and seen by the world.

I want to make ace art - I shared one piece in one of these forum threads, and I'll share an ace self-portrait I made of myself a few weeks ago. I want to make art that expresses the freedom and anguish of my sexuality, humorous stuff that fellow aces can relate to, and art that not only represents asexuality but also normalizes it. I mean, I'm openly asexual on Instagram - it makes no sense for me not to extend that to my blog or anything else.

I go to bed with so much longing for this part of myself to be seen and acknowledged in the world, to see anything like it out there. I feel like it's the last step and the only way for me to finally accept and love my asexuality. Because at this rate, I don't know what else to do. I want to talk to my mom about this soon before I do anything drastic.

I've still to figure out a date when I'll come out on my blog, but I will let you know when I pop out of the cake in the congratulatory section of the forums.

 

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Tasha the demi squirrel

I don't have Instagram or Twitter but I'll look for your YouTube channel at some point

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TheNerdyOne

@Tasha27 Thanks - it doesn't have a whole lot just yet, but I'll be putting more stuff up soon!

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  • 3 weeks later...
Tasha the demi squirrel

Btw forgot to ask if your YouTube channel is the same name as here?

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  • 1 month later...
TheNerdyOne
On 3/6/2018 at 12:56 PM, TheNerdyOne said:

@Tasha27 Thanks - it doesn't have a whole lot just yet, but I'll be putting more stuff up soon!

Hey, sorry I didn't reply sooner! Life got really crazy all of a sudden-my YouTube channel name isn't the same as here, it's ArtzDeeva.

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Tasha the demi squirrel

Cool name

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