Acesneedspaces Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Hi. i identify as asexual and sex-repulsed and I'm still in school and it's causing some problems. First, the book that I'm reading for school has a longish sex scene and it's making me really uncomfortable but i have to read it and write about it. Normally i skip those parts but i can't since it's for school. Second, i also have to take a sex ed course soon and the only way to opt out would involve coming out to my parents which i don't want to do. It's making me really anxious. Have any of you been in similar situations? If so, how did you deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
south paw Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 I read through sex scenes as quickly as possible when I have too. Most of the time I skim those sections or look up a summary of that chapter on sparknotes or something. lol. (not proud of that but it's the truth.) As for sex ed, I think about it from a purely biological pov and i try to act as mature as possible and not ask any questions just so the teacher can get it over with. It always bothered me how all of the students would be giggling and writing down the most random and disturbing questions just to get the teacher to anonymously read it. I've never tried it but I suggest maybe you could ask to go to the restroom or something during that time if it gets really uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 For the book, I would try reading the scene quickly as you can, get that assignment done quick. OR if you really can't, talk to your teacher, tell them it makes you uncomfortable. See if the teacher can help you or figure something out. Sex education classes, are usually very basic. They barely teach you anything. In my experience in my health education class. The teacher mentioned men and women have different private parts. Then we watched a baby be born. That was it. To me I saw it as a biology class. Everyone has private parts, and sex is natural. It might be gross to you, but it is how you got here, how your parents got here, and so on. It does not have to be gross, it is just life. The worst part of a sex education class is immature classmates. To help with anxious feelings during these situations, find ways to help control these feelings. Take deep breaths, have an anxiety toy, or anything to help calm your mind. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Skim writing is always preferable. There are some good sites. If it gets too much, take a break and come back when you’re comfortable, don’t force yourself. Because of where I live our sex ed was mostly “You’ve all probably done it by now, use a condom, and have std checks, here’s the contact info for your local clinic, don’t rape people. Got it?” So unfortunately I have no idea what I’m talking about Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 1 hour ago, Acesneedspaces said: Hi. i identify as asexual and sex-repulsed and I'm still in school and it's causing some problems. First, the book that I'm reading for school has a longish sex scene and it's making me really uncomfortable but i have to read it and write about it. Normally i skip those parts but i can't since it's for school. Second, i also have to take a sex ed course soon and the only way to opt out would involve coming out to my parents which i don't want to do. It's making me really anxious. Have any of you been in similar situations? If so, how did you deal with it? May I ask what book you're reading? For myself, I find skimming for relevant (to the plot) dialogue is the best way to get through those types of scenes. Most of the time they really, rarely, have relevant dialogue and are there because the scene was thought to give the book an uptick in sales (romance out sells pretty much every genre except, possibly, mystery). As for class? NerotheReaper's suggestion is quite good. Also, you might take your concerns to the teacher, if you are comfortable enough to do so, and see they might have a way to help. Link to post Share on other sites
Acesneedspaces Posted March 6, 2018 Author Share Posted March 6, 2018 The book is At the Water's Edge. Thanks for your suggestions of skimming and especially: 2 hours ago, NerotheReaper said: To help with anxious feelings during these situations, find ways to help control these feelings. Take deep breaths, have an anxiety toy, or anything to help calm your mind. Good luck I was able to finish reading it today so that's good. I will use my anxiety toys to deal with the writing part. As for sex ed, all of your advice has been really helpful. I think I'm just going to see it as just another class that doesn't have to apply to me; it's just learning. We learn about how to solve quadratic equations; some of us will use that and some of us won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Carolynne Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 They'll probably teach you about the pieces and how they function, and inform you on STDs. It's all from an anatomical perspective, and still kind of relevant even for asexuals. Depending on your education they probably aren't going to discuss anything too sexual. Where I live they just preach some traditional family values, no sex before marriage type stuff. It's not really the main topic, or even accurate (my sex Ed teacher literally taught us that women can't enjoy sex, for the record.) They won't have you do a book report on the Karma Sutra. Link to post Share on other sites
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