IronDragonfly Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 I've questioned my sexuality for many years, among many other things. I think I am finally becoming more accepting of myself and realizing that I don't have to fake who I am for the comfort of others. After a recent break up, I have come to terms with both my asexuality and aromanticism. I can no longer keep denying my lack of attraction toward others, nor the fact that I feel apathetic toward socializing in general. I know the world I was raised in wanted a soft-spoken, bubbly, romantic daughter, but I'm just a laid back, mellow person who takes things in stride. Fitting in never was something on my mind, yet I aggravated my OCD believing that it should be. In order to improve my mental health, I'm going to try to remain as true to myself as I possibly can, despite still living with my abusers. I don't prioritize relationships, that doesn't mean I don't love others. I just don't have the means to keep sacrificing pieces of myself, hoping to mend something that can never be fixed. I do not have to be "happy" all the time, being stoic is acceptable. That doesn't mean I lack emotion or the ability to be happy. Some people express themselves more vividly or experience more positive emotions than I do, but mine are just as valid. I can express my negativity; I can call out behavior I don't like; I am allowed to not like certain things and choose not to have them in my life. Just because I do not live up to the stereotypes my religious family held me up to due to my biological sex does not mean I have to sacrifice my well being to fit within the parameters of what they deem acceptable for me as a person. I exist, therefore I am. My traits are acceptable because they are me and they make me happy. I don't have to justify that to anyone. I will no longer hide my interests, personality, sexuality, gender, or neurological conditions in order to be worthy enough to stay in someone's life. You either accept me as I am, or we go our separate ways. I never did have a problem being alone, in fact, I prioritize my solitude. Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Welcome to AVEN! You'll find this a very accepting community with a lot of information and support, as I have, and I wish you luck with your decision to be open about yourself in your home and public life! Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Welcome! Whilst romantic and sexual relationships are off the table you can still have platonic ones. Strong emotional connections are very important, and finding people who can understand and support you is always helpful. We’ll accept you no matter what, so you don’t have to be solitary, you have us Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 Hello and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
LouiseHope Posted March 22, 2018 Share Posted March 22, 2018 Welcome to feeling liberated, You are not alone here. Enjoy your solitude. I'm a fan myself; but know there is always a place where you can be reaffirmed as whole and valid as who you are. I'm still trying to persuade my parents that I really can go six weeks without seeing or speaking out loud to another human being and that is fine with me. For safety reasons, because I live alone in a foreign country my parents like me to check in with an "I'm alive" text once a day but honestly I could skip that as well if I wasn't worried about them worrying. However, if you do decide that a few close friendships might be nice, this looks like the place to go to find people who will understand why you aren't on the permanent hunt for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
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