borderlands2diehard Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Hey guys! Very new to AVEN (well not really, I have been reading posts for a while but just decided to register). I am now a student in professional school and I identify as asexual and demi/hetero-romantic. I discovered my sexual/romantic identity in my previous program a few years ago. To this day, I am forever grateful to my mates from my previous program. They are a group of open and accepting individuals (many of them LGBT+, and those who are not are our allies) who are among the first to preach to me the idea of unconditional love. (I do come from a family from which I have never experienced unconditional love and up to this day is still being belittled and criticized over e.g. my body, and I am still not out to them - and probably never will be) Through them, I accidentally discovered a video series on YouTube (Ash Hardell's channel - she did a video series on asexuality and aromanticism). That changed my life. With a click, now everything makes sense. That I never find anyone "hot" ever in my life. That I genuinely do not see the point of make-ups and heels (I am born a female and still identify more or less as female/demi-girl). That I never have any fantasies. That during masturbation, I think about buildings I have just past by or a presentation I did today. That I am "face blind" and do not automatically make a judgment regarding looks (by which I mean I genuinely do not think about how pretty anyone is unless someone explicitly asks me). That my attraction to people (or lack thereof) has absolutely no relationship to how they look. That I don't see the point of sex. That porn is so repulsive to me that I had to force myself through to watch an educational documentary (still want to learn about the subject). That I do not understand why people will ask for sexual encounters during a massage because a massage feels so much better (my neck is always sore from a sitting job). That I never have a sex dream. That I could not perceive the idea why looks are important to anyone at all. That sex never feels right. I can go on forever. I could not describe my feeling the moment when everything pieced together. I have been questioning whether I am broken in some ways for years and now I have an answer. I am not crazy, I am not weird, my relationship with my boyfriend isn't broken just because I don't crave sex. Years of self-questioning came down to this. I am so grateful that I discovered it early. I have seen people questioning their otherwise loving relationship for decades just because they don't crave sex with their partners - I have seen people questioning the validity of their existence for years. I feel horrible for those people, and I cannot thank AVEN enough for the effort it has exerted in educating the public. There's still a long way to go (for example, my school literally only said that the "A" in "LGBTQIA" stands for "allies" in a brochure, to which I quickly emailed them and it was fixed), but it's getting there. So happy to be there and to keep discovering myself and to help others in doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Lichley Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Welcome! You found Ash Hardell too? They have an amazing series on all things LGBT+ and are the best at explaining orientations! Link to post Share on other sites
Vicky Angel Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Welcome Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 6, 2018 Share Posted March 6, 2018 Hello and welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
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