I should have known I was asexual when....

[Mx. Who]

18 hours ago, blunose2772 said:

It's a childish thing guys do when someone says something that could be taken as sexual innuendo 

Weirdos

 

The bad kind, not the amazing kind like us

[will123]

I should have known I was asexual when...

 

...a female friend asked me if I could see the two of us having sex and I flat out said no without thinking.

 

This was about four years before I read about asexuality (and AVEN) in a newspaper article.

 

I'd had female friends prior to this, but we were just that friends. Sex was never discussed, not was there much in the way of affection, hand holding or cuddling either. I guess you could say they were just a 'buddy' to hang out or do things with.

[will123]

On 3/5/2018 at 7:11 PM, DJS05 said:

My "should have known" moment came when I realized that when I was sexually active I had been "doing it" because I thought that was what I was supposed to do and i was supposed to like it. But then I realized I really had no desire to put any part of my body inside someone else's body. 

I can relate to that looking back.

[will123]

On 3/22/2018 at 12:10 AM, blunose2772 said:

When my Naval buddies took me to Hooters for my 20th birthday and was only interested in the hot wings

My Hooters story is a bit different. I've been to them and it doesn't bother me. However my brother and the nephew (he's 20) keep bugging me when I'm going to take him. he's from a smaller city and I know my way around town. I've made a few excuses why I can't or don't. I just don't want to know what the nephew's fertile imagine would come up with...

[taebae]

I should have known when a guy that had apparently been interested in me sent me a dick pick and I freaked out, calling it gross and inappropriate and asking why he would do such a thing. He got offended and I couldn't understand why. I found out later that this was sort of a common practice among my peers and that he expected me to have been turned on by it. 

 

 

 

 

[Bronztrooper]

1 minute ago, taebae said:

I should have known when a guy that had apparently been interested in me sent me a dick pick and I freaked out, calling it gross and inappropriate and asking why he would do such a thing. He got offended and I couldn't understand why. I found out later that this was sort of a common practice among my peers and that he expected me to have been turned on by it. 

 

 

 

 

In all fairness, I think that even sexual women can have the same reaction to getting a dick pic from a guy they're not interested in.

 

Though, I never saw the point of dick pics in the first place.  It just seems stupid to me.

[will123]

2 minutes ago, taebae said:

I should have known when a guy that had apparently been interested in me sent me a dick pick and I freaked out, calling it gross and inappropriate and asking why he would do such a thing. He got offended and I couldn't understand why. I found out later that this was sort of a common practice among my peers and that he expected me to have been turned on by it. 

 

 

 

 

I cant even think of doing something like that. In my case I dont think I have to worry about any females sending any topless (or other) pics.

[Guest]

Looking back, there were dozens of signs. I should have known when my lack of a significant other had become increasingly scrutinized as I got older. I had to explain that I didn't have a girlfriend because I generally wasn't interested in having one. No one gave me butterflies and it simply wasn't a priority. The few attempts I had made in my early 20's were mostly forced, in that I thought that if I put myself out there maybe whatever feelings I was supposed to have would coalesce. But they never did. Eventually, I accepted that I hadn't yet met the right person and left it at that.

[will123]

1 hour ago, Greywulf said:

Looking back, there were dozens of signs. I should have known when my lack of a significant other had become increasingly scrutinized as I got older. I had to explain that I didn't have a girlfriend because I generally wasn't interested in having one. No one gave me butterflies and it simply wasn't a priority. The few attempts I had made in my early 20's were mostly forced, in that I thought that if I put myself out there maybe whatever feelings I was supposed to have would coalesce. But they never did. Eventually, I accepted that I hadn't yet met the right person and left it at that.

Other than the unattached girls in my social circle when I was in my 20s, I never made any effort to meet any outside of them. 

[darvyn]

I should have know when all of my "crushes" solely focused on me wanted to befriend the person more, rather than participate in any sexual activities, despite being a "hormonal teenager" at the time. I thought I was hormonal because I couldn't stop thinking about getting to know these folks better, but not once did I imagine having sex or anything sexual happen. Geeze louise. 

[Ms. Carolynne]

On 4/15/2018 at 1:16 AM, Nova_Wild said:

I was kind of a loner in middle and high school so I thought girls discussing "hot guys" on a regular basis was just a stereotype they put in teen sitcoms.

 

19 hours ago, taebae said:

I should have known when a guy that had apparently been interested in me sent me a dick pick and I freaked out, calling it gross and inappropriate and asking why he would do such a thing. He got offended and I couldn't understand why. I found out later that this was sort of a common practice among my peers and that he expected me to have been turned on by it. 

 

 

 

 

@Nova_Wild Same, I thought guys being seemingly obsessed with "hot" girls was a trope.

 

@taebae I thought that kind of stuff was for creepers.

 

It seems really forward, and I'd say sexual harassment if not consensual.

 

Like, you can't just expose yourself irl, how is doing it via telecommunications any different?

[Riv3nRaven]

I probably should have realized I was asexual when my friend felt the need to sit me down in grade 11 and tell me that sex was a real thing that real people desired.

 

NOTE:  Previously I thought that because I'd seen it in movies and couldn't relate nor didn't want it that someone had made it up for some weird reason.  I mean really how much of what you see in movies is real.  My train of thought.  Still can't comprehend how nor why people want to participate in these 'adult activities.'

[hward]

On ‎16‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 10:55 PM, taebae said:

I should have known when a guy that had apparently been interested in me sent me a dick pick and I freaked out, calling it gross and inappropriate and asking why he would do such a thing. He got offended and I couldn't understand why. I found out later that this was sort of a common practice among my peers and that he expected me to have been turned on by it. 

Having been on the receiving end of these sort of pictures I can concur that it is just disgusting and wrong and a turn off rather than a turn on.

 

Edit - That was someone I was seeing at the time who sent those so I can't even begin to imagine why someone you weren't interested in would send it, that's even more disgusting!

[Bronztrooper]

4 hours ago, hward said:

Having been on the receiving end of these sort of pictures I can concur that it is just disgusting and wrong and a turn off rather than a turn on.

 

Edit - That was someone I was seeing at the time who sent those so I can't even begin to imagine why someone you weren't interested in would send it, that's even more disgusting!

Ego, I guess.

[JMichael]

I realized that if I never had sex with my partner again, I'd be just fine. As long as I can still get a hug every now and then.

[HaileyKay22]

- I didn't have any interest in masturbation until last year. (Turns out, I have a libido.)

- Whenever I dreamed about any of my crushes, the most we would do is hold hands, laugh, and say how much we care about each other.

- The few "sex" dreams I've ever had were always rape, even though I've never been raped.

[will123]

32 minutes ago, HaileyKay22 said:

 

- The few "sex" dreams I've ever had were always rape, even though I've never been raped.

Oh my, that's scary! I don't mean to pry but do you think of rape a lot? The reason I ask is that sometimes I'll have dreams about something that I've had on my mind.

[HaileyKay22]

No. I don't think about rape, unless the topic pops up somewhere. For example, if I happen to see a news story, or if the topic surfaces in conversation, etc. I think the reason why I had those dreams is because I subconsciously knew that sex didn't appeal to me.

[Hayis4horses]

Omg! This thread. 

 

I am not 100% sure if I am ace, because I am pretty young (I know you can still know your sexuality if you are young), but a lot of these scenarios sound super familiar to me.

 

Whenever we have puberty or sex education, I always don't listen and feel grossed out. I once was told to put a condom on a banana and I looked up at the teacher and said "NO." in a very loud, firm voice. My classmates were just like "Dang...you don't have to be so mean about it." or "Just do it. You will need to know for later." People always tell me to listen because I'll need the information. I'm just like, when? I will never use that information. Yet people insist that I will. But, recently I have been trying to listen more because I do not know what a lot of things are, which has and can make me look like a complete utter fool.

 

At the beginning of the school year we went with my school to watch a play. The 2 main characters didn't wear their shirts. Then, the actors came to our school to answer questions, a few days later. They asked how they could improve the show. I raised my hand and said, "It would be better if you had your shirts on." The class started to laugh and one actor replied, "What? You didn't like what you saw? I work hard for this." (They have 6 packs) The entire class was cackling. I laughed a little, too, but said "No". Thinking back on it, people probably thought I was gay. 

 

About a week ago the girl sitting next to me told the table that she f***ed someone. One boy was super interested. He said "who?" like 5 times in 3 seconds. I on the other hand got so grossed out I packed up my things and left to another table. As I was leaving, the girl said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I won't talk about it." I kinda just looked at her with this vacant expression on my face, and moved.

 

Also, about a week ago a girl in my dance class was on this app called Monkey. You get to video chat with a random person for 10 seconds. Me and some other girls were watching her play it. She had accepted so many people, and had short conversations with them, when it tells her "Would you like to accept King, she is ____ years old from ____?" We are just like "King is a she?" She clicks accept and now only me, her, and her best friend are looking at the screen. It connects, and all we see, front and center in the camera is a penis. She exes out of the app, immediately. But then, her and her friend start laughing and are cracking up.She says, "We just got flashed, guys." I am just shuddering and wondering how in the world could this be considered funny. It is repulsive.

 

No idea how bodies sell things either. Or how dirty jokes are funny. Or why the average boy thinks about sex 123 times a day (I believe that was the number my papa told me, when he had read an article about it).

[verymelancholic]

I knew that I was asexual when I would have a really hard time and be uncomfortable thinking about anything related to sex (even romance). I never really liked putting part of me inside another one’s body. I never really liked genitals.

 

But the irony here is I still want to try it soon, especially romance.

[Bronztrooper]

3 minutes ago, depressolation said:

I knew that I was asexual when I would have a really hard time and be uncomfortable thinking about anything related to sex (even romance). I never really liked putting part of me inside another one’s body. I never really liked genitals.

 

But the irony here is I still want to try it soon, especially romance.

I'm sort of similar, except for me it's just that I feel uncomfortable about the thought of me actually having sex rather than sex as a whole.

 

I want to try having sex in the same way that I want to try sky diving.  It sounds like I might enjoy it in theory, but the thought of actually going ahead and trying it makes me think "Enh... maybe not."

[dxrse]

I should have understood I was asexual when I got confused that my friend had a crush on a guy she had never talked to and she told me it's normal. 

I should have also realised when whenever my ex asked about having sex I would get disgusted.

[verymelancholic]

1 hour ago, Bronztrooper said:

I'm sort of similar, except for me it's just that I feel uncomfortable about the thought of me actually having sex rather than sex as a whole.

 

I want to try having sex in the same way that I want to try sky diving.  It sounds like I might enjoy it in theory, but the thought of actually going ahead and trying it makes me think "Enh... maybe not."

Yeah, I’m more against the thought of me doing it. If others do it and I’m not involved, it’s fine, though a bit uncomfortable.

[CirothUngol]

* When I was 13 and got to choose who the prettiest girl would kiss in spin-the-bottle, so I chose the prettiest guy (ie. not me).

* When I was 14 and was pressured into kissing a friend of mine, a girl I really liked, and I cried. For 2 days.

* When I discovered in my late teens that other people fantasize about sex/nudity and it's considered "normal", yet the concept was alien.

* When a lovely woman I really liked and enjoyed speaking with in college asked me out, and I said "no" as if I were gay, but I'm not.

* When after being hauled into a strip club I couldn't understand why everyone was throwing their money at the pretty naked people.

* When I didn't think of sex at all while in the presence of said pretty naked people that I didn't want to touch or have touch me.

* When I made it to 30 years old without ever really having desired to touch or be touched by anyone outside of my immediate family.

* When I spent over a year of light daily affection with a close, lovely, and interested friend, yet never once thought to ask to kiss her.

* When in my mid 30s and my new best friend that I'd been kinda officially dating for many months asked about sex, and I was surprised.

* When said best friend, now my spouse of 10+ years, whom I both love and adore, always has to kindly, patiently, and respectfully remind me that we should have sex (that I truly enjoy sharing vicariously with her), because it genuinely never crosses my mind.

* When I first read the AVEN Wiki... oh wait, that's the first time I did know I was Grey!

[Sana]

*When I’d have conversations with other girls and the dreaded topic of who I found “cute” in our class would inevitably rear its ugly head (as though its normal to be interested in at least someone when you are in mixed company). My answer would always be nobody and they’d immediately query whether I was a lesbian.

*When on the rare occasions I’d admit to a crush to anyone other than my mother, they’d start asking me about sexual things that I’d like to do to the person and I start to question if I actually do fancy the person, because the thought makes me feel awkward and weird.

*When I realised that I’ve been obsessed with someone for ages and never once imagined them with their clothes off or of me being with them in a non platonic way.

*When you explain these things to someone and their explanation is that you are a sheltered  or “just a decent person”, and you know that this isn’t true.

*When you really can’t be bothered to date and don’t understand why everyone else needs to be with someone and have constant sex to be happy.

*When I learnt more about sex and realised that doing 90% of the potential sex acts with another person, horrified me. And that I was indifferent to the thought of penis in vagina sex. 

*When I realised that I don’t see the point of Ryan Gosling.

[Sana]

On 29/03/2018 at 10:59 PM, Harkness144 said:

Similar to what other people have put in some ways:

- Never being interested in boys in school - I was called gay a few times but since I’ve never seen being gay as an issue, it wasn’t really something I saw as an insult!

-Never wanting children

-Awkward online dating attempts and the relief that follows when it’s clear it’s not going to work. (My mum just thinks I’m extremely picky)

-The sheer delight of evenings spent on my own with a good film or book, a glass of wine and a takeaway. 

This!

[James121]

On 06/03/2018 at 5:08 AM, Duke Memphis said:

When I almost spewed after hearing some dirty jokes when I was about twelve.

Most 12 year olds spew over the idea of sex don’t they?

[Strange But Not a Stranger]

There have been a lot of moments like that in the past. I just had no idea that asexuality even existed, so I often just thought everyone else was crazy (in my teens) or that I was the crazy one (later in life).

 

I remember how everyone was all excited and giggly at school when we were having sex ed, and I was sitting there like *shrug* okay, what is the big deal about this? To me it was like any other biology lesson, nothing to get all worked up about.

 

Around the same time or maybe a little later, when everyone started dating and/or pretending they were dating, I was like "why would you do that?". I had below zero interest.

 

Also remember the girls in my class going wild when some popular girl was talking in detail about one guy's (her words) "beautiful d*ck". I could not understand the fuss about it.

 

When I was in my 20s I registered myself on an online dating website, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I enjoyed the IMO normal chatting, but when things turned sexual I felt all "Nope, this is so not my thing". Obviously, I never met any of these guys in real life. I just didn't care. But I still felt weird, because in your mid 20s you're supposed to date and have sex and everything, right?

[Amelys]

I should have known I was asexual when 

1. The idea of having a boy or girlfriend was much less interesting than hanging out with my friends even when my friends had all been through 2-3 relationships already.
2. I closed my eyes - and sometimes covered my ears -  during the "sexy" scenes of a movie.
3. I found out it was weird to find people to be better looking with their clothes on. 
4. I was usually the last to understand an inuendo (if I understood it all).
5. I hated it when my friends started talking about "sexy" things. 

[will123]

18 hours ago, depressolation said:

I knew that I was asexual when I would have a really hard time and be uncomfortable thinking about anything related to sex (even romance). I never really liked putting part of me inside another one’s body. I never really liked genitals.

 

But the irony here is I still want to try it soon, especially romance.

When confronted with the possibility of sex with a female, the thought of her body taking part of me inside of her, was something I couldn't handle. I also knew I couldn't have someone that close (inside my personal space) to me.

18 hours ago, Bronztrooper said:

I'm sort of similar, except for me it's just that I feel uncomfortable about the thought of me actually having sex rather than sex as a whole.

 

I want to try having sex in the same way that I want to try sky diving.  It sounds like I might enjoy it in theory, but the thought of actually going ahead and trying it makes me think "Enh... maybe not."

Sex never bothered me, but when I was asked if I could see the two of us having sex, I quickly replied, "NO!" I tried explain my vague reasoning, but I don't think she understood, nor did I really.