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I should have known I was asexual when....

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Eva River

Friend: What's your type?

Me: ??????????????

 

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BaileNua

Should have known I was ace when...

 

- I had a celebrity crush but when a friend suggested that they would be my dream husband I was repulsed. Didn’t she know that I just wanted to give him a hug and never actually meet him in person?!😂

- Also, when an ex-friend used to give me two names of boys and I had to pick one to hypothetically have sex with. I would always try to figure out which one she found attractive, because I didn’t have a clue. This would happen every day. It was exhausting!

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nerdperson777
On 4/20/2019 at 11:35 PM, Dr. Beat said:

literally never had any of the experiences of puberty that everyone talks about with discovering who you may be attracted to. like, that just never became a thing

I think my mom thought if she didn't talk about it, I wouldn't think about it.  I never thought about it anyway.  My only issue was mistaking my squishes for attraction.

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Fluffy Femme Guy
On 4/21/2019 at 1:35 AM, Dr. Beat said:

literally never had any of the experiences of puberty that everyone talks about with discovering who you may be attracted to. like, that just never became a thing

I was 9 going on 10 when had my first, for certain, experience with aesthetic attraction.
Sure there was nothing sexual about it at the time, but it was enough of a flag that when puberty came around I wasn't surprised at all.

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Carito

I remember ever since I was little, and I moved, girls were already asking wHo Do YoU lIkE? And I couldn’t answer bc I didn’t like anybody. XD 

also all the girls talked about actors who were “hot” like Zac Effron, and I just didn’t get it

Later on when I grew up I went to a sleepover and my friends started talking about sex? I’m a year younger than all of them and so I felt really uncomfortable lol

but then I realized I never stopped feeling uncomfortable about it haha and here I am

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Dr. Beat
31 minutes ago, Fluffy Femme Guy said:

I was 9 going on 10 when had my first, for certain, experience with aesthetic attraction.
Sure there was nothing sexual about it at the time, but it was enough of a flag that when puberty came around I wasn't surprised at all.

I guess I assumed I was 'normal' because I very occasionally had crushes on guys. I never, ever thought of anyone in a sexual way though. Just romantic. Even then, I don't even know what I would have done with that romantic attraction.

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Esor

... when I had to pretend to have crushes on boys in grade school. All the girls in my friend group were “boy crazy” and I felt left out. I didn’t understand how they could feel that way towards anyone so I would fake having a crush on someone just so I would feel included. This carried on into high school and college.

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bookwormprincesskat

Biggest should’ve known moments generally have to do with:

 

people playing games like “f**k, marry, kill” or stupid Facebook games where you put your name and comment certain numbers where almost everything centered around sex or fantasies. I never got how someone could just look at someone and want to have sex.  Polyamory was a huge reason I eventually found out I was asexual. 

 

Also sexting. Never understood it or why you would do it. When people would try all I could say was oh. Made people mad and call me names regardless of the fact that they initiated it. 

 

When guys or girls would send nude and/or semi nude photos. Or immediately try to talk about sex. Just ew. I didn’t understand for a long long time that most people are cool with that or not completely grossed out. I would immediately block people because of it. 

 

When i would think of relationships sex wasn’t a factor. I was always interested in the romance part but not the sexual aspect. I would at times get “mad” at sex for “ruining” things. I didn’t realize that most people considered sex a vital part of a relationship and even just a vital part of being human. 

 

I didnt start questioning til I was an adult. Mostly because I spent my teenage years isolated at home being homeschooled. I had little to no interaction with anyone outside of family. Looking back I should have known. 

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will123
1 hour ago, bookwormprincesskat said:

 

I didnt start questioning til I was an adult. Mostly because I spent my teenage years isolated at home being homeschooled. I had little to no interaction with anyone outside of family. Looking back I should have known. 

I've always wondered what people that were home schooled think of it in later years. Do you have siblings?

 

I know a couple that home schooled their five children. I'm pretty sure the kids weren't stuck at home all the time. Mind you there probably a lot of kids that arent so lucky. I always worry how these folks interact with society when theyve grown up with little to no contact with the 'outside world'.

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bookwormprincesskat
1 hour ago, will123 said:

I've always wondered what people that were home schooled think of it in later years. Do you have siblings?

 

I know a couple that home schooled their five children. I'm pretty sure the kids weren't stuck at home all the time. Mind you there probably a lot of kids that arent so lucky. I always worry how these folks interact with society when theyve grown up with little to no contact with the 'outside world'.

I do have siblings luckily. I enjoyed homeschool for the most part. But being so isolated I did miss out on a lot of the time when you learn how to develop friendships and whatnot. I’m playing a lot of catch-up in a way. I’m pretty good with people for the most part especially one on one but not great with larger crowds. 18-21 was really really rough. But I’m here so that’s a positive. 

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will123

@bookwormprincesskat That's nice to see and welcome to AVEN :cake:

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