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I should have known I was asexual when....


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blunose2772

When my Naval buddies took me to Hooters for my 20th birthday and was only interested in the hot wings

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When I got so mad at everyone on the internet that insisted Mulder and Scully would be better as a romantic couple, and I didn't see it at all.  And I still felt that way when I watched the new episodes last year.

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... every innuendo flew right over my head during my teenage years.

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On 3/22/2018 at 11:04 PM, arden_jay said:

... every innuendo flew right over my head during my teenage years.

SAME

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On 3/12/2018 at 1:22 AM, Robin Hood said:

For clarification, do mean you couldn't do it because you had no idea what was sexy or not? 

Yes, that’s what I meant (sorry, english isn’t my first language)

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IrishArcher

1. When I first went into Victoria's Secret and felt extremely uncomfortable with all the mostly naked pictures of women on the walls. I haven't gone back since.

 

2. When I always felt uncomfortable wearing short shorts or low-cut tops, because I don't want anybody looking at me in even a remotely sexual way.

 

3. When my sister asked me what I looked for in a guy, and I went: "Um...tall?" because I felt like I had to say something.

 

4. When everybody around me freaks out at shirtless guys in movies/shows, and I'm just like, "Put your shirt on, you're obviously just doing this for more views."

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There are two moments that come to mind. I only recently found out I was asexual, so some of these are recent. 

1. Me talking to one of my guy friends after PE.

Me (Jokingly) :Why the heck would they split up girls from guys in locker rooms? That's sexist! 

Him: It's so that while they are changing, girls wouldn't see the guys naked and vice versa.

Me: Why the heck would they do that? Do they think I'm going to judge guys by their looks?

Him: ...

Me: I'm missing the point, aren't I?

 

2. Stranger Things spoiler:

Spoiler

I was watching Stranger Things and it was the scene where Steve was having sex with Mike's sister and in between was shots of Barb being attacked and eaten. I was like, "Stop interrupting the horror with the sex scene! I want to know what happens to Barb!" even though that probably most people see the horror scene as interrupting the sex scene, now that I think about it.

 

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I would constantly think up scenarios that would let me never have sex in my life. As in: "I'd rather never have sex than have to wars 'sexy' underwear." SWEETIE, YOU'RE ACE, AND YOU'D RATHER NEVER HAVE SEX, PERIOD.

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3 hours ago, Kitkat7e said:

2. Stranger Things spoiler:

  Hide contents

I was watching Stranger Things and it was the scene where Steve was having sex with Mike's sister and in between was shots of Barb being attacked and eaten. I was like, "Stop interrupting the horror with the sex scene! I want to know what happens to Barb!" even though that probably most people see the horror scene as interrupting the sex scene, now that I think about it.

I don't remember there being any sex scenes. I guess, I'm good at instantly forgetting these things.

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Oh gosh there's so many things I should have picked up on now that I think about it!

 

- Never being interested in boys/relationships/sex at school and college.

- Saying I never want kids (because the thought of having to get close enough to a guy to do it was just icky)

- Being ridiculously uncomfortable any time anyone mentioned sex.

- Then when I eventually had sex spending the whole time thinking it was incredibly awkward / why do people make such a fuss about sex / sex isn't fun / am I doing it right / is it over yet / will he notice if I leg it as soon as it's over

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blunose2772

Not sure if this is a sign of Asexuality, Maturity, or both

 

In Health class getting annoyed when the teacher would mention certain parts of the reproductive system and everyone would giggle

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Harkness144

Similar to what other people have put in some ways:

- Never being interested in boys in school - I was called gay a few times but since I’ve never seen being gay as an issue, it wasn’t really something I saw as an insult!

-Never wanting children

-Awkward online dating attempts and the relief that follows when it’s clear it’s not going to work. (My mum just thinks I’m extremely picky)

-The sheer delight of evenings spent on my own with a good film or book, a glass of wine and a takeaway. 

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Also every time anyone says "ooh he's hot" and i said nothing as didn't see the appeal.  And the phrase "he looks better with his clothes on" is something I've definitely said a fair few times.

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9 hours ago, Ytterbium said:

I don't remember there being any sex scenes. I guess, I'm good at instantly forgetting these things.

Yeah. Barb was dying and in the mean time, Mike's sister loses her virginity to Steve.

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10 hours ago, blunose2772 said:

Not sure if this is a sign of Asexuality, Maturity, or both

 

In Health class getting annoyed when the teacher would mention certain parts of the reproductive system and everyone would giggle

Actually, now that you mention it..... I never understood what was so funny to people about reproductive parts. I thought it was a maturity thing, but now I wonder if that had more to do with being ace.

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When I would watch tv with my boyfriend and a sex scene would come on. I would think, “Crap. Now he’s going to be horny and we’ll have to have sex.” 

 

And it still took took my entire adult life to figure it out 🙄

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insertcreativenamehere
2 hours ago, Inky said:

When I would watch tv with my boyfriend and a sex scene would come on. I would think, “Crap. Now he’s going to be horny and we’ll have to have sex.” 

 

And it still took took my entire adult life to figure it out 🙄

YES! Same here!! I stared only watching HGTV or Food Network because I knew I was “safe” from sex scenes! 🤣

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On 3/29/2018 at 3:14 PM, blunose2772 said:

Not sure if this is a sign of Asexuality, Maturity, or both

 

In Health class getting annoyed when the teacher would mention certain parts of the reproductive system and everyone would giggle

I never understood why people would giggle either... I always found it kinda cringey tbh 

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I was excessively bothered by the amount of smut stories I came across when looking for something to read online and when I tried to find someone who agreed they all thought the opposite. The annoyance was probably a byproduct of being sex-averse/repulsed or not being able to relate or comprehend what was happening.

 

 Also,
"What do you like in a partner?" I kept answering with personality when the question was more directed at physical traits.

 

I never learned anything in Sex Ed because one of my teachers sensed I was feeling off about the lessons and didn't force me to take notes. Safe to say, I abused her kindness and did nothing for those 6 months I had her. Otherwise I zoned out of the lessons and my friends covered for me whenever I was called upon because I was 'too innocent'.

 

I kept reading stories with asexual characters and thought "I relate" but didn't somehow make the connection at first. I'm clever in that sense. In the end, that's what led to me discovering my orientation. I guess if it wasn't because of my friend's old Destiel phase from 2015/16 I wouldn't have even noticed.

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On 3/11/2018 at 7:41 PM, Ficto-Witch said:

I spent years forcing myself to think about having sex with someone else just to make sure that I felt sexual attraction to people

I used to force myself to imagine having sex with crushes because I thought that's what you're supposed to want... it's a wonder I didn't figure out I was ace earlier 

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6 hours ago, zoee_21 said:

I used to force myself to imagine having sex with crushes because I thought that's what you're supposed to want... it's a wonder I didn't figure out I was ace earlier 

Totally true, when I couldn't muster that anymore I convinced myself that it was because I just had too much respect for them to imagine them like that.

 

Also, maybe it's just my Catholicism seeping through, but I've always struggled to see the point of birth control and contraceptives because I can't comprehend how people are unable to keep from having sex.

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  • 2 weeks later...

- the words 'sexy' and 'hott' (or any related words) aren't in my dictionary because I can't even imagine myself saying it and I just don't get it when other people say it.

- When I was 10 years old, I had to attend puberty class for the first time and all I could think was 'Man, this is boring. When will this end? I wish I could also play outside with the others' .Boys and girls were separated for that class so the next day, it was the other groups turn. A friend of mine was in that group so after they went through it too, I cluelessly asked what they had to talk about. My friend told me and I still couldn't grasp the situation at that time. 

- I would cringe, cover my ears or react in disgust when I hear people talk about things related to sex.

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blunose2772

Wanting to deck people in the mouth whenever they do "That's what she said" joke

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Bronztrooper

Not understanding why abstinence was such a big deal.

Not really understanding the whole 'sex sells' thing.

Hearing people talk about who was 'hot' or 'cute' and not seeing what they apparently saw.

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When I watched Romeo and Juliet and all my friends were like “OMGGGG Leonardo De Caprio is so hoooottttt!!!” And I was like “ohhh. Fish” ( for anyone who hasnt seen the movie Romeo and Juliet first see each other through a fish tank). 

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On 4/12/2018 at 12:46 PM, blunose2772 said:

Wanting to deck people in the mouth whenever they do "That's what she said" joke

I don't understand that joke

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blunose2772
7 hours ago, Miss Who said:

I don't understand that joke

It's a childish thing guys do when someone says something that could be taken as sexual innuendo 

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I was kind of a loner in middle and high school so I thought girls discussing "hot guys" on a regular basis was just a stereotype they put in teen sitcoms.

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16 hours ago, Nova_Wild said:

I was kind of a loner in middle and high school so I thought girls discussing "hot guys" on a regular basis was just a stereotype they put in teen sitcoms.

Turns out it isn't.

Who knew?

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