Iam9man Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 17 minutes ago, SkeletonCat said: I kinda feel out of place everywhere, actually. I'm hyperromantic - I've always gotten crushes, even now I have a work crush or two. I do have celebrity crushes, but it's not based on looks. I crush on people I would want to hang out with (or cuddle, or stare at - but only if I like who they are/portray themselves in public). I don't care how good-looking someone is, if they're a jerk, I don't crush on 'em. I'm fine with sex scenes, they're.... fine. *shrug* I enjoy erotica and romantic literature, but only when it describes how the people are feeling, not so much what they're doing. I don't like to be touched, though. I like to fantasize about being held or cuddled, but when someone actually touches me, I shy away. I didn't date at all until I was a senior in high school, and then I had a long-distance boyfriend for 2 months, mostly consisting of chatting online for hours every night. Never even kissed the guy. I've only dated 3 people in my whole life, and I had my first kiss at 28. I was always curious about sex, because I love romance so much, I figured it would be like in the books I read, but I was never curious enough to just go out and have sex with someone. Once I did it, I was like, "Hmm. Okay. That's a thing." It was nothing like I thought it would be, and I would be pretty happy if I never had sex again. That being said, I'll have sex with my husband if he really wants to do it. I'll just never initiate. I'm not disgusted by it, but I've got other things I'd rather do. I have a libido, but I don't feel the desire to have sex with anyone. Why involve a third party when I can just take care of the problem myself? That's why God invented the waterproof vibrator. So, I know I'm not heterosexual, or homosexual, or pansexual, or bisexual, but a lot of what other aces say about their experiences don't ring true for me. I still feel asexual is the best description of my sexuality. Welcome to AVEN! 🎂 There’s a huge diversity within asexuality (some call this the asexual spectrum), but I know what you mean about feeling out of place everywhere. Fellow hyperromantic here 😊 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Overcomplicate Everything Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 When I was having a car ride with my dad and asked him (genuinely puzzled) how the first humans in history got the idea to have sex. What would give someone the idea to do that if it wasn't already established? Even if someone did get the idea, how did they get someone else to agree to try? My dad thought for a moment but all he could come up with was, "instinct." I looked at him skeptically. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ayra Star Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 30 minutes ago, Overcomplicate Everything said: When I was having a car ride with my dad and asked him (genuinely puzzled) how the first humans in history got the idea to have sex. What would give someone the idea to do that if it wasn't already established? Even if someone did get the idea, how did they get someone else to agree to try? My dad thought for a moment but all he could come up with was, "instinct." I looked at him skeptically. I've questioned this heaps too! Like why would someone ever think to...do that in the first place? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 14 hours ago, Overcomplicate Everything said: I looked at him skeptically. All I can think of now is a pic of a skeptical child that is commonly used in memes LOL EDIT: Found it 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted June 25, 2019 Share Posted June 25, 2019 5 hours ago, Overcomplicate Everything said: When I was having a car ride with my dad and asked him (genuinely puzzled) how the first humans in history got the idea to have sex. What would give someone the idea to do that if it wasn't already established? Even if someone did get the idea, how did they get someone else to agree to try? My dad thought for a moment but all he could come up with was, "instinct." I looked at him skeptically. I'm just going with people with penises were wondering "what could I stick this into?" Once I was looking up martial arts videos to write an essay and I came across some guy called "The Iron Crotch" who tied heavy things to his parts and swung them around. I don't get why someone would've thought, "what random things can I do with this?" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 8 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: I'm just going with people with penises were wondering "what could I stick this into?" Once I was looking up martial arts videos to write an essay and I came across some guy called "The Iron Crotch" who tied heavy things to his parts and swung them around. I don't get why someone would've thought, "what random things can I do with this?" That sounds painful, why would anyone want to do that?!?!? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 14 hours ago, Overcomplicate Everything said: When I was having a car ride with my dad and asked him (genuinely puzzled) how the first humans in history got the idea to have sex. What would give someone the idea to do that if it wasn't already established? Even if someone did get the idea, how did they get someone else to agree to try? My dad thought for a moment but all he could come up with was, "instinct." I looked at him skeptically. ERROR: DOES NOT COMPUTE One other question that I’ve thought of that bothers me is thinking about the fact that most people seem to prefer to see their preferred gender without clothes and thinking “how hard was it to get clothes to become mainstream in the first place if that’s how most people think?” I’m glad that clothes are popular, and I hope that doesn’t change. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 Hrm, well, it seems clear our evolutionary ancestors were reproducing sexually long before they became intelligent and long long long before anyone started wearing clothes. AFAIK, all of our closest relatives reproduce with the general body parts our species uses. So no one had to come up with the idea, that was an evolutionary accident. Now clothes...probably protection or heat when we lost body hair. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Darth Plagueis the Wise said: That sounds painful, why would anyone want to do that?!?!? Who knows? It looks like things get attached to the testicles, as that would provide more support than the actual penis itself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ney Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 Not sure if it's actually an asexual thing but I never laughed at any dirty jokes. I completely got what the jokes meant, but I never got why it should be funny? Sometimes people tried to explain them to me even when I said 'I got it', and then gave up saying I'm just too innocent or something along the lines 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KeKatCookie Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 On 6/26/2019 at 10:09 AM, ney said: . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted June 27, 2019 Share Posted June 27, 2019 I do that with jokes and comics (the funny kind) and stand up comedy. I have a sense of humor, I promise, but humor-on-purpose doesn't usually get me. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FaceofBase Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) I'm still new in my journey into if I do indeed fall under the ace umbrella. This weekend, when I told my *sexual* boyfriend that I think I may be ace I didn't get an argument or surprise. I got "Oh...that makes sense." 🤷♀️ Edited July 1, 2019 by FaceofBase 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
griffinej5 Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 In the movie, 10 Things I Hate About You , the one girl finds black underwear in her sister’s drawer, and this apparently means you want sex. I remember being absolutely horrified at this idea, that the color of your underwear could indicate that. I knew that there were underwear out there that you clearly were not wearing for comfort or purely utilitarian purposes, but color? If I had any black underwear, I’m pretty sure I got rid of them, and I didn’t own any again for years after. Probably not until they were just in a package with some other ones. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bronztrooper Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 9 hours ago, griffinej5 said: In the movie, 10 Things I Hate About You , the one girl finds black underwear in her sister’s drawer, and this apparently means you want sex. I remember being absolutely horrified at this idea, that the color of your underwear could indicate that. I knew that there were underwear out there that you clearly were not wearing for comfort or purely utilitarian purposes, but color? If I had any black underwear, I’m pretty sure I got rid of them, and I didn’t own any again for years after. Probably not until they were just in a package with some other ones. I've seen the black underwear thing be referenced in shows/other movies a couple times and I've never understood it. Like, why does the color determine whether or not someone has slept with someone/is going to sleep with someone? I swear 90% of this stuff was made up by people for shits and giggles and it got blown way out of proportion.... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
griffinej5 Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 15 minutes ago, Bronztrooper said: I've seen the black underwear thing be referenced in shows/other movies a couple times and I've never understood it. Like, why does the color determine whether or not someone has slept with someone/is going to sleep with someone? I swear 90% of this stuff was made up by people for shits and giggles and it got blown way out of proportion.... Maybe, but I was still worried about it for a while. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
firebird8 Posted July 2, 2019 Share Posted July 2, 2019 3 hours ago, Bronztrooper said: I've seen the black underwear thing be referenced in shows/other movies a couple times and I've never understood it. Like, why does the color determine whether or not someone has slept with someone/is going to sleep with someone? I swear 90% of this stuff was made up by people for shits and giggles and it got blown way out of proportion.... It's probably that people are thinking of the kind of thing you see in Victoria's Secret window displays as "black underwear" and not random cotton briefs that come in a multi pack of different colors. And then the thing gets started and rolls up everything black after that. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 On 7/1/2019 at 2:48 PM, Bronztrooper said: I've seen the black underwear thing be referenced in shows/other movies a couple times and I've never understood it. Like, why does the color determine whether or not someone has slept with someone/is going to sleep with someone? I swear 90% of this stuff was made up by people for shits and giggles and it got blown way out of proportion.... I'm thinking, perhaps the reasoning is that after sex, underwear can have "residue" so black will hide it? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
degenerate Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 12 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: I'm thinking, perhaps the reasoning is that after sex, underwear can have "residue" so black will hide it? This cracked me up, this can't be why. It can't. I don't know why I object other than that fact that underwear is always gross. By this logic everyone should wear black underwear all the time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 13 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: I'm thinking, perhaps the reasoning is that after sex, underwear can have "residue" so black will hide it? Ok gonna get gross here, but if you think about it (and probably shouldn’t) it would be quite the opposite. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
degenerate Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 1 hour ago, AceMissBehaving said: Ok gonna get gross here, but if you think about it (and probably shouldn’t) it would be quite the opposite. ! you're right lol 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I must have given off vibes, because in college the house had me share my room with a female exchange student for a year, and it never struck me as odd. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 3 hours ago, AceMissBehaving said: Ok gonna get gross here, but if you think about it (and probably shouldn’t) it would be quite the opposite. Speaking from experience, the lighter coloured the undies the better... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KeyKey Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I should have known I was in middle school. Whenever I heard adults say that adolescents were dealing with hormones that affected their behavior I would argue adamantly that it wasn’t true. They were just stereotypes in my mind. I didn’t feel like I had any feelings to suppress. I thought that since I wasn’t running around trying to find somebody to kiss, then obviously no one else was. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
will123 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 3 minutes ago, KeyKey said: I should have known I was in middle school. Whenever I heard adults say that adolescents were dealing with hormones that affected their behavior I wasn’t running around trying to find somebody to kiss, That would've been me. No interest in kissing girls or having a girlfriend. Spoiler To use the term of the 70s, I KNEW I wasn't queer. I wish I had known about asexuality a lot sooner. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 6 hours ago, KeyKey said: I should have known I was in middle school. Whenever I heard adults say that adolescents were dealing with hormones that affected their behavior I would argue adamantly that it wasn’t true. They were just stereotypes in my mind. I didn’t feel like I had any feelings to suppress. I thought that since I wasn’t running around trying to find somebody to kiss, then obviously no one else was. I did notice the other boys getting unsually aggressive around that age (I got beat up in the gym locker rooms a lot) and making lots of sex talk, which I did not take part in. Partly because I wasn't interested and somewhat grossed out, and I had been a social pariah since 4th or 5th grade, at least with the males. I had some vague sort of crushes (girls), but I never had an urge to date any of them. I would have some sexual fantasies, but no urge/need/desire to do any of that for real. So, I couldn't deny that something was happening, but I could easily tell I was in a very, very different mindset from that of the others. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
a_subtle_reality Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 4 hours ago, KeyKey said: I should have known I was in middle school. Whenever I heard adults say that adolescents were dealing with hormones that affected their behavior I would argue adamantly that it wasn’t true. They were just stereotypes in my mind. I didn’t feel like I had any feelings to suppress. I thought that since I wasn’t running around trying to find somebody to kiss, then obviously no one else was. I actually had an English assignment at high school marked down because of this - we'd just a bit earlier had an assigned book full of "teenage angst", aggression, rebellion and sexual tension, and we were asked to write a piece of prose or poetry expressing what we were experiencing in life. So I did. Wrote a contemplative and whimsical piece which expressed my own experience very well, I thought. It came back with a low grade and a note basically saying "this is great, but not what I asked for - I was looking for a genuine teenage voice expressing real feelings". A bit WTF there (helloooo, actual teenager here, telling you what they really feel!). I got quite annoyed at that, showed my parents who wrote a note to the teacher pointing out how ridiculous it was, got the grade revised and (after discussion with the teacher) on the next assignment did a nice job of writing "angsty voice in the style of characters from teen novels"... with a few pointed comments about adults not listening to what teens are actually trying to say 😋 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Liana Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 5 hours ago, KeyKey said: I should have known I was in middle school. Whenever I heard adults say that adolescents were dealing with hormones that affected their behavior I would argue adamantly that it wasn’t true. They were just stereotypes in my mind. I didn’t feel like I had any feelings to suppress. I thought that since I wasn’t running around trying to find somebody to kiss, then obviously no one else was. Same. My brain somehow managed to filter out all sexual stuff that I heard until 10th grade of high school, even then I thought that people were just joking. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rawersace Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 when i went to this guy’s house to netflix and chill and i actually thought we were going to just watch netflix... and chill... and then he leaned in to kiss me. oh man. how regrettable. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 2 hours ago, a_subtle_reality said: "angsty voice in the style of characters from teen novels" "Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate FLOW through you." 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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