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TKD4

I should have known I was asexual when....

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TKD4

When I was first figuring out I was asexual, I did a lot of reexamining my life and found a lot of clues in my past that should have told me I was asexual. I haven't seen a thread like this so I thought it'd be cool to see what other peoples experiences were! Comment some of the clues that should have been an early sign you were asexual!

 

My biggest one is probably never understanding in school the whole 'sex sells' advertising strategy. For the life of me I couldn't understand how using half naked people in an advertisement was supposed to get people to buy the product while everyone around me seemed to understand it no problem.

 

 

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SelRivers

I used to think the whole 'sex sells' thing was an exaggeration. And honestly, part of me still thinks that's the case. Although the biggest clue to my asexuality (which was more like a slap in the face) was after watching THAT House episode. I remember thinking I wanted the same type of relationship the Asexual couple on the show had... but then their identities were erased which was a BIG let down.

 

I think I never considered it then because people kept telling me I hadn't met the right person. I foolishly listened them without thinking for myself and what I wanted.

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Dj91

I still don't understand the sex sells thing. Although my brother told me a lot of people who works with watch Game of Thrones for the sex/naked scenes. So maybe it does. 

 

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Taylor Lilith

Every time I came home and my wife was in varying stages of undress and I would ask, "why are you naked?".  It would have been very clear to every sexual out there her ultimate goal.  The whole sexual attraction to naked bodies thing .... isn't my jam.

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Fantastic Name

...when I realized that thinking about people turns me off.

...when I had a crush on someone that lasted years, and not once during those few years did I ever think about wanting to have sex with that person.

...whenever anyone ever said that that completely random person was cute/hot/sexy/whatever.

 

And that's just the beginning.

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Ms. Carolynne
5 hours ago, Dj91 said:

I still don't understand the sex sells thing. Although my brother told me a lot of people who works with watch Game of Thrones for the sex/naked scenes. So maybe it does. 

 

I was going to post about sex scenes myself. It seems they're always shoehorned in, too.

 

Let's take a break from whatever was going on as these two people are banging now, because, reasons. It's important that you see this btw. Again, because, reasons.

 

I never quite understood those reasons.

 

Edit : Something from a little over a year ago

 

At my previous job some co-workers of mine were having a conversation, and my virginity got brought up.

 

My supervisor then started talking about purity, him having some conservative values, and he approved of my virginity (interestingly so, as he was very sexual, and sex positive).

 

The "I should've known moment" was in what I thought to myself. I wondered whether such purity means as much if one doesn't struggle to attain it. After all, I didn't struggle with sexual desire, nor am I celibate.

 

 

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Laplace

I find excessive “sexy” advertising actively discourages me from buying a product 😅. I don’t want games or movies that have gratuitous romance or sexual content, so that type of advertising can actually make me consider not buying them lol.

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Galactic Turtle

In high school when people asked about hypothetical dating I was like "after the first year or two we can hold hands sometimes but if we get married there will be a five year probationary period after which I'll see how I feel about procreation but all of this is contingent on not all qualified men being spineless fools and me not minding someone hovering in my general presence. I might put out an application for the sake of efficiency when the unfortunate time comes."

 

People laughed. Apparently that's not normal to say when 17 years old.

 

Oh and I cried when my sister tried to take me to Victoria's Secret for bras when I was 12 or 13 yelling "IT'S TOO SEXY!!!!"

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DJS05

My "should have known" moment came when I realized that when I was sexually active I had been "doing it" because I thought that was what I was supposed to do and i was supposed to like it. But then I realized I really had no desire to put any part of my body inside someone else's body. 

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umbasa

When talking about Gravitation (yaoi) anime with an Uni friend and realising the reason he watches it for is not what I was watching it for (it actually has a good story!). After which, I thought to myself "huh..."

 

There are many moments before this one that should have been telling but this particular moment just popped up in my head.

 

It seems my entire life has been me going "huh" yet never giving any one of these moments a second thought. Which, I suppose only further proved my ace-ness back then. Matters of the flesh held that low an importance to me.

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Duke Memphis

When I almost spewed after hearing some dirty jokes when I was about twelve.

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Winter Spirit ❅

I've always been different in that I am grossed out by the things people around me say about sex but no one else is. Everyone I've known has just thought that my reactions are amusing. I never really stopped to think too much about the fact that no one else minded dirty jokes.

 

I too thought that people's interest in sex was an exaggeration. Though I still don't really get how people care about it so much seeing as how it is pretty much the same experience over and over again.

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Tintinfan

When I said what I wanted in a boyfriend is that I should be able to throw him down a mountain and him to come out smiling.

 

(This was in an R.E lesson when we were being asked this... I fairness I was a bit lost)

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Miss Who
On 3/5/2018 at 4:32 PM, Galactic Turtle said:

Oh and I cried when my sister tried to take me to Victoria's Secret for bras when I was 12 or 13 yelling "IT'S TOO SEXY!!!!"

Me.

 

For me, it's when everyone in one of my classes is just talking about who's had sex with who and who's hot, and I'm just like, "Why are you talking about this? How is this at all interesting? Why would you want to?

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Marilena

There are too many moments like that in my life to count...

One that comes to mind was during my last year of high school. We were on our school trip and a boy from another class asked me if I would come to his room. At that time, I thought he was joking, so I 'jokingly' threatened to throw water at him (we were in a coffee shop and he was sitting at the next table). In no way did it pass my mind what he meant by that! It was years later I realized he meant having sex! Ew!

And when my friends told me the guy liked me and was sad I took no notice of him, I was really surprised. To me, that had come out of nowhere.

My friends then offered to help me get together with him, as he was the best- looking guy in our year and he was interested in me (their words, not mine), but I firmly declined. Inside I was freaking out! I didn' t even know the guy! Hell, I didn't even know his name till my friends told him, as we'd never shared any classes. I hadn't even noticed him, never even said hi. Why did he like me? I couldn't get together with a stranger!

That should've been my cue that I was asexual, or more specifically, demisexual. Thinking about it now, it's really obvious.

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TKD4
On 3/5/2018 at 8:20 AM, G1P0 said:

The "I should've known moment" was in what I thought to myself. I wondered whether such purity means as much if one doesn't struggle to attain it. After all, I didn't struggle with sexual desire, nor am I celibate.

This is like when people complain because "I haven't had sex in months!" and they say it like they're basically dying and my reaction is always along the lines of "yeah and? what's the big deal?" which usually gets me some weird looks because I guess it actually is a big deal to some people 

 

On 3/6/2018 at 8:12 PM, imahappynothing said:

For me, it's when everyone in one of my classes is just talking about who's had sex with who and who's hot, and I'm just like, "Why are you talking about this? How is this at all interesting? Why would you want to?

Agreed! In high school people would always ask me who I thought the hottest guys in our grade were and I was like "Um no one?" to which they'd respond about how I don't have to want to date them, just who I thought was hot and my answer was still the same but in a more confused tone lol

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InfinitysGrace

Not only am I physically repulsed by just the word "sex" but I, for the life of me thought that the "sex sells" thing was fake, like not just an exaggeration but actually fake. 

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Sweet Potato

when I was 18 I followed a link to a character sketch for a fanfic I was reading. the sketch was of a male character, laying naked as the day he was born, very much aroused and with an unmistakeable look of lust on his face. the comments were all along the lines of "omg I wanna jump that right now" and such. and my thought was "does he have to be naked, really?"

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Zash
On 3/5/2018 at 9:00 PM, umbasa said:

When talking about Gravitation (yaoi) anime with an Uni friend and realising the reason he watches it for is not what I was watching it for (it actually has a good story!). After which, I thought to myself "huh..."

I used to do work in localization of adult videos (subtitling and stuff) and I have to say, some hentai series actually have an interesting plot, and almost all of them outdo the plot of American adult videos by leaps and bounds (yes, a low bar, but, still).  It was to the point for a couple of them, I was actually interested in seeing the next episode because I wanted to know what would happen in the plot.  Helps that I didn't actually have to watch the series to do my job, I could do most of the work from the audio alone.

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chandrakirti

I should have known when I blurted out 'geez isn't the human body poorly designed' when my husband was getting ready for bed.

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tallahassee

There have been a lot of indicators that I've either missed, or chose to ignore in my struggle of accepting my sexuality (or lack of it). One would be the fact that I've never understood physical attraction to bodies. Of course I can appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the human form, but it's always been in an almost artistic sort of way, if that makes any sense. Another would be that I've never understood how people can be so nonchalant about sex and sexual activities. Even ignoring the fact that I personally felt no interest in sex, the idea of people viewing it as a casual activity to be enjoyed regularly, or even with strangers, always baffled me. Like I couldn't wrap my mind around how people carry condoms around with them with the mindset of "you never know", as if sex could just casually happen, lol. 

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Tuple

I should have known I was asexual (and aromantic) when...

 

...as a child I told my parents, and others, that when I grew up I was never going to marry

 

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helana12_03

- Everyone started dating and I had zero interest (this is more of an aromantic thing I guess).

- I enjoyed kissing guys I was dating but never wanted to do anything sexual with them.

- All of my friends loved sex ed and I kept trying to find ways out.

- I could never picture my wedding day, not even as an adult (this is more aromantic than asexual).

- I've always found sex/naked scenes absolutely disgusting. Honestly, I don't get the appeal. 

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RoseGoesToYale

Sexualized lyrics in songs used to freak me out and disgust me. I liked getting dressed up and going to school dances, but I hated the music played at them. I remember once in fourth grade refusing to dance to the cha cha slide because the kids were making it too sexual. For other things, it was just the whole concept flying over my head. My friends had this game where you'd map out fantasies, like where you'd do it, or things you found "sexy"... I thought we were all just kidding around, so I said whatever random things came to mind. Come to find out years later they were being totally serious, and they thought my answers were suspiciously weird...

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helana12_03
On 3/5/2018 at 3:16 AM, Dj91 said:

I still don't understand the sex sells thing. Although my brother told me a lot of people who works with watch Game of Thrones for the sex/naked scenes. So maybe it does. 

 

Honestly, I don't get how people like this show. I watched the pilot and it was horrible and disgusting.

Spoiler

There was a rape scene in this episode. GROSS!

 

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Robin Hood

I always knew I was asexual, but I didn't know that asexual was what I was. If that make any sense at all.

 

I used to make a big joke out of it, calling myself asexual and then cracking a joke about reproducing asexually. I did this in spite of knowing full well that I didn't experience sexual attraction. And somehow it didn't occur to me that asexuality could actually be a sexual orientation(which wasn't even a term yet). I just thought it was something that people said, because they didn't want sex.  No joke, that was my genuine trail of thought. I was asexual but I wasn't, like, asexual or anything. (Yes, you should read that in a valley girl accent) I also assumed that my sexual orientation, like some white knight, would some day finally come. So I guess I should have realized I was asexual..... when I started telling everyone that I was. 

 

I was so very, very dumb.

 

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Robin Hood
On ‎3‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 12:29 PM, Marilena said:

There are too many moments like that in my life to count...

One that comes to mind was during my last year of high school. We were on our school trip and a boy from another class asked me if I would come to his room. At that time, I thought he was joking, so I 'jokingly' threatened to throw water at him (we were in a coffee shop and he was sitting at the next table). In no way did it pass my mind what he meant by that! It was years later I realized he meant having sex! Ew!

And when my friends told me the guy liked me and was sad I took no notice of him, I was really surprised. To me, that had come out of nowhere.

My friends then offered to help me get together with him, as he was the best- looking guy in our year and he was interested in me (their words, not mine), but I firmly declined. Inside I was freaking out! I didn' t even know the guy! Hell, I didn't even know his name till my friends told him, as we'd never shared any classes. I hadn't even noticed him, never even said hi. Why did he like me? I couldn't get together with a stranger!

That should've been my cue that I was asexual, or more specifically, demisexual. Thinking about it now, it's really obvious.

OMG, I have been invited back to the residences of a lot of men. I have only JUST RECENTLY realized what they were aiming for. I am way too old to be realizing this. No wonder they always stared at me like I was a weirdo after about 20 minutes. I just assumed they were proud of their place or wanted to play a video game, like my female friends. They must have been so confused about why I would even agree to go if I wasn't going to initiate anything. Or maybe they just assumed that they blew it at some point? Like they did something wrong and I lost interest in hooking up? The sad thing is that I am usually so intelligent. I just have no frame of reference for lines that normal friends say, but are ALSO pickup lines.

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Robin Hood
On ‎3‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 8:20 AM, G1P0 said:

I was going to post about sex scenes myself. It seems they're always shoehorned in, too.

 

Let's take a break from whatever was going on as these two people are banging now, because, reasons. It's important that you see this btw. Again, because, reasons.

 

I never quite understood those reasons.

 

Edit : Something from a little over a year ago

 

At my previous job some co-workers of mine were having a conversation, and my virginity got brought up.

 

My supervisor then started talking about purity, him having some conservative values, and he approved of my virginity (interestingly so, as he was very sexual, and sex positive).

 

The "I should've known moment" was in what I thought to myself. I wondered whether such purity means as much if one doesn't struggle to attain it. After all, I didn't struggle with sexual desire, nor am I celibate.

 

 

I get called "wholesome" a lot, especially by religious or conservative people I know. I don't mind, but it just seems weird to me because I'm not trying to be pure or wholesome or good. I'm not making any kind of sacrifice. I just behave in whatever way it occurs to me to behave. I also dress very fashionably, but my chest is never exposed at all. Which people treat as though it's uncommon, but I can't really tell, because I only look at peoples chests when they have funny sayings printed on them.

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PixleyDust✨

I should have known I was asexual when...

 

Being an Indiana Jones fan and all, I should have known when I didn’t find this arousing in the slightest:

 

1c426c40b62967109fadd1352daa67cc.jpg

 

I was in high school.

 

In the middle of goddamn PUBERTY.

 

And I felt ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. 🤣

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tunasupreme

I remember  trying to explain to my friends that I love Indy for his principles not his looks.The only thing I don't like about Indiana Jones would be those dumb romantic subplots.

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