Have I finally found my true identity?

[Flump222]

I've been thinking about this a lot, and made a crap ton of posts about this (way too many, I think. I should probably stop). I've ID'd as some sort of ace now, and gone back and forth between gray and heteroromantic asexual, but I think I may have found what I am, and I want to ask what other people think (I know people shouldn't really label others, but I do really want thoughts on this). So, I've ID'd as somewhere on the ace spectrum for a while now for quite a few reasons. Although I do masturbate, and look at stuff when I do, I feel only the act really interests me (and I only really do it because I'm bored and it feels good). I don't have the thought when looking at someone of wanting to have sex specifically with them, and I just focus on whatever they're doing, rather than who's doing it. I also sometimes have difficulty with fantasies, though they have become easier for me. I don't really imagine another person with me in it, just sort of an anonymous figure (also it's become my natural inclination for them to be gay, which I think is weird because I have no attraction to men). I can imagine a specific person, but that takes extra work and never really adds anything. I'm indifferent to it at most, and I don't look at people and have a urge to have sex with them or anything. I have had a crush once, and all I wanted with her was just to spend time and stuff, nothing sexual. I think that I also experience aesthetic attraction, where I have an urge to just sort of look at someone based only on appearance, but I'm not sure because occasionally I get a small tingle in my nether regions. I wouldn't call it full blown arousal, and I don't really get an erection, but it's still a feeling there. That feeling does go away very quickly. I also kind of identify with the fraysexual label, but I haven't until now because I was afraid people wouldn't view me as a real ace. I feel like that because that feeling that I described earlier pretty much never happens again after a little while. The more I know the person, the more the idea of sex with them repulses me. 

So, I think that I belong somewhere on the ace spectrum, maybe gray ace (if I'm on the spectrum at all), but I'm still not quite sure. I'd like to hear thoughts if it isn't too much trouble.

[call me M]

I think these urges you have are completely normal, just because you fantasize or want to masturbate it doesn't mean you want to have sex with someone else, that doesn't make you any less asexual. I can relate to you completely, since these urges are so fleeting, they come and go so fast, and when you involve another person in it things get so complicated! If you want to have an orgasm to relieve the stress or whatever, honestly, the last thing in the world you need is another person! And you can just be done with it and get on with your life without all the trouble and awkwardness of interacting with the person you had sex with afterwards. I totally feel you in the aesthetic attraction thing, I get physically attracted to people all the time, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them. For me as asexual that's so natural but sexual people seem to have a lot of trouble to understand that being attracted isn't necessarily a sexual thing.