Koto Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Hey all! This might be somewhat of a rant but I'd like to know your experience with friends and what gender you tend to get along with more. I still find it easier to get along with males than females. In general, I have more "boyish" hobbies (as society called it. Tons of video games, computer stuff, and the like). I don't notice it until someone points it out that "You're the only girl here" in a social event or something. Now I don't really care. I used to try to avoid guys because I felt I had judgmental people around me but now I'm like WHO CARES!? I'm not going out TRYING to ONLY talk to guys or messing around sexually with them (plus I'm asexual lol). Why does it matter? I find it easier to talk to guys because I can have conversations about my favorite games and goof around with them more easily. I have a goofy personality and hung out a lot with my male family members growing up, so I don't notice it much if I am surrounded by guys in a conversation about games, movies, or whatever it may be. Do a lot of people tend to overthink it when around a certain gender? In my experience it happens a lot. Why can't we just be ourselves? Why does it matter the person I'm talking to is a guy or girl? Maybe it doesn't bother me that much because I am asexual? Because I don't feel any 'sexual tension' with anyone? Does it really matter? Have you ever been judged for hanging out with lots of people of the opposite gender? What is your experience as a 'tomboy' or if you're a guy, a male who hangs with lots of women? Or what do you think about it in general? Feel free to answer only a couple questions or all if you want (or none?)! Just throwing out some thoughts. ^__^Note: Sorry I forgot to mention! It DOES bother me when I am at a social event and am surrounded by guys who try to hit on me in a very creepy way. For example, when I went to a video game tournament there were creepers trying to just 'get with me' because I was a girl who played games. -___- It doesn't happen all the time, but it does on occasion. That's the only time it bothers me. xD Link to post Share on other sites
MissMidnight Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Well when i had friends here they were mostly guys and I find guys easier to relate to than girls. Its also less drama. Though having male friends was also hard because at times their girlfriends would ask them to choose between her or me and naturally I would lose as I was just a friend which was fine. In videos games I generally also just have male friends and well im considered "one of the boys" even though I am not. On here however mostly girls message me so it seems in this environment more girls talk to me than guys do, which is very odd for me but its not a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
DJS05 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I've always had female friends more than hanging out with other guys. Dudes can make a sex joke out of anything. Yawn. I never interested in being in room full of women though because I can't relate to a group conversation, but one to one discussion, I definitely prefer to be in the company of a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I don't get it either why people cakre so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Light02 Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I've always preferred being friends with girls, despite being a "tomboy", I guess. I just have an easier time having conversations with women and opening up to them emotionally. For me it has to do with the fact I'm afraid of men, having been abused by one, it doesn't really have to do with gender. Link to post Share on other sites
ElasticPlanet Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Never been totally comfortable in groups that are overwhelmingly biased to one binary gender or the other. I just had to learn to live with it. While I was growing up I never understood how that kept happening. Although agender I was assigned male and didn't get to make female friends in my teens and resented that. My social circle is much better now, and I get to talk to all sorts of people. Wherever I can I like to be able to talk to the same person about parallel universes and baking - conversation subjects shouldn't be gendered! Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 1 hour ago, ElasticPlanet said: parallel universes and baking Are parallel universes considered masculine? Link to post Share on other sites
Chimeric Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 12 hours ago, Koto said: I find it easier to talk to guys because I can have conversations about my favorite games and goof around with them more easily. I have a goofy personality and hung out a lot with my male family members growing up, so I don't notice it much if I am surrounded by guys in a conversation about games, movies, or whatever it may be. Same. =) I've never been able to figure out if my sense of humor is naturally more guyish, or if it's been shaped by decades of hanging out predominantly around dudes - chicken or the egg, dunno. 12 hours ago, Koto said: Do a lot of people tend to overthink it when around a certain gender? In my experience it happens a lot. Why can't we just be ourselves? Why does it matter the person I'm talking to is a guy or girl? Maybe it doesn't bother me that much because I am asexual? Because I don't feel any 'sexual tension' with anyone? Does it really matter? Have you ever been judged for hanging out with lots of people of the opposite gender? I am not good around women. I'm on the taller side and I'm kind of bulky, I have a deep voice for a woman, my vernacular is markedly more masculine (again - chicken or the egg =)), my job involves a lot of getting dirty (I'm forever worried I'm talking to gorgeous women with cow poop somewhere in my hair). I'm bisexual and have been out since I was 12, so I spent a lot of time going out of my way to not make my female friends uncomfy in the locker rooms, etc, so I've got a lot of programmed shyness in that regard. Plus I have trouble relating to a lot of the "typical" female interests. In terms of the sexual tension bit, I've never had any trouble telling my guy friends that it's not gonna happen. I find it very easy to set boundaries and stick to them, and if there's any sexual tension remaining, I'm totally oblivious to it (which probably hinders it, I would imagine ). When I was younger I was judged a lot for it by the other girls in school. Once the girls started figuring out they kinda liked guys, suddenly they were asking me for tips on how to get to know my guy friends. I'm a terrible female friend, though; my loyalty has always been to my guy friends (they accepted me even when the girls shunned me ). Link to post Share on other sites
ReyGraves Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 I have an easier time with females but that’s probably just because I’m AFAB and socialized as female. I really wanna make more guy friends but I don’t want them to see me as a girl. (Which, pre-transition, everyone does) But I find I connect better with my male teachers. We joke and banter and I’m just more relaxed around them rather than my female teachers. (I also haven’t really had the chance to make guy friends since by now everyone is pretty well into their friend groups (or rather, at my school, friend webs)) Link to post Share on other sites
ElasticPlanet Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 16 hours ago, Emery. said: Are parallel universes considered masculine? Ah, maybe I didn't pick a good example. World War 2 aircraft, then? I understand that I get to talk to different people about different things because we each have our own unique set of hobbies, skills etc... but I wish these things were a bit less correlated with gender. Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Growing up, I just hung out with my sister's friend circles, and she had better luck befriending men. Nowadays, I make my own friends, and while I can enjoy the company of anyone of any gender and I have dear, dear friends of any gender, my two deepest platonic bonds I have ever had are both ones I share with other men. Neither of them really subscribe to machismo or hypermasculine mentalities, and they both tend to befriend women more readily than men. Still, I consider myself somewhat effeminate in my personality anyways, and for one reason or another, we clicked. The one thing I've noticed is that I don't click with people who are more extreme in regards to gender binary. I felt like a goddamn alien when I did my business degree, because most the women just fit every single social expectation of women I could think of, and the men fit every single one of their respective social expectations. Even down to their interests/hobbies. I was a goddamn alien to them, and I'm glad that academia and the music world doesn't operate like that. Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 I've been hanging out with more girls (artsy musicy girls) but I like guy friends, especially nerdy ones who like me for who I am, not my cursed prettyness. It's kind of annoying how people always assume you're a couple, though Link to post Share on other sites
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