Aros, what is kissing like for you?

[Jea]

I'm aromantic and have no experience with kissing. It looks nice in movies and I love reading about it in books or fanfiction but I don't have any desire to try it myself, the idea feels gross. But I'm curious, so, while really not wanting to try, I kinda want to.

 

So my question is to all aro people out there who have some kissing experience, what does it feel like for you?

[tgif]

I'm not aro, but I thought I'd answer anyway. I was always interested in kissing. I get turned on watching it in movies sometimes. However when I do it myself I'm indifferent. It gets kind of boring; I don't really enjoy it.

[Muledeer]

  I think kissing is gross as hell.

[Falcon7]

Well, I don't mind...as long as they are either cats or dogs.

[purpleandgreylife]

I haven't kissed someone in over ten years, yet when I did, it was my first kiss. The very first kiss was anti-climactic for me. The next time he kissed me, was the same. I ended up making out with him, waiting to feel more because I thought, surely this can't be it?!

 

I remember feeling for a long time like I wasted my first kiss. I thought it was him. Now though, knowing I'm asexual, along with hindsight, I think the kissing just didn't do anything for me. It wasn't bad, but it was definitely not good. I much preferred laying together cuddling, than kissing him.

 

I think the kissing would have been better if I had insisted on closed mouth pecks. I like getting kissed on the cheek or the forehead; I think it conveys a greater since of caring (for me).

 

I hope this answers your question.

[Tos]

it's....fine i guess? like, it's not terrible, but it's not all it's built up to be in fiction or whatever. fun enough that i'd do it more given the opportunity, but not enough that i'd go out of my way in search of more, if that makes sense. definitely prefer kissing girls to kissing guys, though. tongue is fine as long as i remember my chapstick.

[donttouchme]

Doesn't really do anything for me. Feels very mechanical. I guess I don't feel grossed out by it but I never really understood what a "hot make out" session really was. I have not felt an urge to kiss passionately in years. 

[Kyōma32]

I have only kissed one person, whom I was dating at the time (but upon reflection, I only felt a platonic love for). For short periods of time (less than a minute, for example), I find the physical sensations interesting and somewhat pleasurable. I also enjoy the feeling of closeness to the other person. However, I quickly get tired of this and find myself feeling bored and eventually intensely uncomfortable. I have never felt a desire to kiss someone, and during this relationship, I much preferred it when we were just hanging out as pals.

 

 

[Yeast]

Let's see... 4 decades ago me, my sister and her friend had gotten together. My sister's friend offered to give me a birthday kiss. I enjoyed the sensation in the sense that soft, warm things I press my lips into gives me a calm, relaxed feeling. I don't become sexually aroused though.  I suppose for me I feel somewhat like a baby sucking on a pacifier. My sister's friend may have become aroused though, especially when my hand accidentally brushed her breast as we parted. However my sister was a hateful, vicious person and when she sensed I was beginning to enjoy myself my sibling demanded we return home immediately. Perhaps she saw her friend getting aroused and thought I was becoming aroused as well. I wasn't though. I think even if we stayed I definitely would have never had any interest in a sexual encounter. The same thing happened at home with another of my sister's friends who tried to seduce me. I showed no interest and she immediately went upstairs to join what I suppose was an orgy between her, my sister and some fellow I'd never seen before. Again, I really didn't care.  That friend of my sister that I kissed is I believe the last person I've ever kissed on the lips. She will probably stay that way.

[Snao Cone]

In theory, I can see myself enjoying it. I'm a bit of an oral person (no, definitely not that kind of oral ) and when I imagine kissing it appeals to me on some sort of unattached level. But it's usually a disappointment. I don't feel into it, and it doesn't make sense to keep at it because there isn't anywhere I want to go from there. There's some sensual enjoyment, and on a detached level I can appreciate the richness of experience, but I don't feel in the moment, or any magical connection to the other person.

 

That being said, it's a low risk chance to take that maybe next time I find myself with the opportunity to make out with someone with no strings attached and without implying sex, I'll do it. But much like with my other sexual experiences, even when I'm presented with a chance to do this I'm often too lazy to do something of such a low priority.

[Dean.]

I personally haven't kissed anyone, but back when I thought I was cis-het I dated a girl for a while and she kissed me on the cheek, at the time I felt nothing, like at all and I thought it was weird so I used my mind to imagine I liked it, like I did with many other things because I thought that was how it worked for everyone else, and I just used that trick until I convinced myself that I enjoyed it but looking back I felt nothing for it.

[Liro]

Well....I am no aro, but I can tell you, from my experience, that kissing someone I wasn't emotionally or intellectually attracted to was like tying my shoes. Something robotic and not really interesting like in the movies. I have never kissed someone I really liked, so I couldn't say if it would be different, if it would have the sparkle that Jane Austin pictures hahahaha. 

 

[Galactic Turtle]

I've been kissed by relatives on the cheek before. I equate it to maybe.... pressing your cheek against toilet water pooling on the floor.

[IceHurricane]

It doesn't do anything to me. I don't think it's gross, but it doesn't feel good either. I actually fell asleep while making out with someone because I was just so bored.

[Tja]

Kissing is/was one of the most enjoyable, sensual, lovely things I've ever done. So intimate. 5 out 5 stars.

[To Each Their Own]

I have a group of close friends that will sometimes kiss each other ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ with a small peck on the check or something. That, to me, is ok because it’s a show of affection.

 

I am repulsed by romantic kissing, however, and can’t even watch or listen to it. It’s like two people eating each other. To me, it’s gross and unsanitary.

 

 

[MalcolmCooks]

I've made out with one person and kissed on the lips maybe 2 or 3 other people when drunk.
It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. to be honest.  Making out with tounges was a little bit yucky, because........ lips and tounges are... weird wet rubbery warm flaps.
And with the other kissing, again it was just like, pressing yon mouth against another mouth.
There was never any special spark or feeling besides the mechanical feeling of the kiss. So if you just like, find something that decently approximates the feeling of a mouth I think you'll get a pretty good idea of what it feels like to kiss for real.

I get much more of a "kick" out of just cuddling someone or holding hands. That gives me a sense of closeness and intimacy that, weirdly, doesn't seem to be there when kissing.

 

That being said I would like to kiss some more, just for the purposes of exploration and trying to figure out if maybe I'm just a bad kisser or the girl I made out with was a bad kisser, or maybe it depends on who you're kissing...... ect ect

[thora]

It's  warm, kind of squishy and just awkward for me personally!

[tgif]

18 hours ago, IceHurricane said:

It doesn't do anything to me. I don't think it's gross, but it doesn't feel good either. I actually fell asleep while making out with someone because I was just so bored.

Me!  Haha I relate way too much to this.

[IceHurricane]

I also want to second the warm part. You’re sharing the same air, breathing each other’s breath. Hot air. You can feel them breathing on you. Being in such close proximity to someone makes things very hot. Even if you’re not kissing anymore but just have your faces together. That part was more uncomfortable than anything. 

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

Blergh....

[SpaceDustbin]

Not aro, but for me it's 'meh'. Kiss on the cheek or lips, fine, but not a fan of full-on kissing (especially not when others do that in public and you can hear them. Ew.)

[Srslydunno]

I never understood how do someone invited kissing. There were two random people who thought 'hey, let's lick our tongues, that'll be fun'. For me kissing is totally indifferent.

[Blackthorn]

Two decades ago.  Felt invasive, awkward and disgusting.  Have not been tempted to try again.

[Mae 🌼]

It's not something that really bothers me since I don't see it as a particularly romantic act but it can feel awkward sometimes

[Guest]

I don't get what all the fuss is about. I find it weird and boring, and when tongues are added to the mix...absolutely disgusting!

 

In some other thread here on AVEN someone posted a link to a research paper where romantic gestures between couples worldwide were analyzed. Turns out, the majority of cultures don't suck face and most of them don't understand the concept of pressing mouthes together. Yeah, me neither folks.

[SilentRose]

I'm honestly very indifferent. I've done everything from the tame cheek kiss to the French kissing, I definitely don't find it gross or unpleasant. Sometimes I can enjoy it because while I don't romantically love my partner he's a great friend and I like making him happy. Also it's just something to do to express affection like a hug to me sometimes. But in general it's neither pleasant or unpleasant. 

[Jarle]

I feel like a bit of an odd one out here, because kissing is something I enjoy a lot. 

 

Touch is a big thing for me, particularly with people I can trust and feel affection for, and the more intimate that is the better it can be. Kissing someone as an act of affection is fantastic, particularly when you and they are able to freely enjoy the experience, you aren't stressed out by work or feeling rushed or meeting expectations. The idea as a concept weirds me out a bit, but as an act in the moment I love it. It makes me feel wanted and loved, and shrinks the world to just that moment with you and them. 

 

On the other hand, it can be pretty terrible. If the other person has a particular style of kissing that doesn't match your own (i.e.: too much tongue, not enough, they grab you or like to use teeth as a few examples) it becomes something to be endured, not enjoyed. And on from that, I'm a pretty empathic person, so if the person is only doing it to make me happy and they're not getting anything from it, or if it just becomes routine, I pick up on that and lose interest pretty quick. 

[Mysteriace]

I'm aro ace and I actually love kissing. Making out, snogging, Frenching, sucking face, whatever you want to call it, I enjoyed it. I haven't kissed anyone in years, not since really understanding what I was, except I might have kissed a chick at a bar to keep her from hitting on my (married) bestie who was uncomfortable, but I did really like it. If done well.

[ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø]

On 3/2/2018 at 3:51 PM, Falcon7 said:

Well, I don't mind...as long as they are either cats or dogs.

Or birds! Or any type of animal that would let you kiss them!