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The Sex Issue and The Asexual Issue


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Alrighty. 

 

Hello!

 

So I came out to my friend I am asexual but that I'm possibly grey-ace as well. She sees herself as a hetero demi and our mutual friend is bi. So one would think acceptance is happening.

 

False. 

 

She said and I quote.

 

" You can't be asexual and read all the damn smut fan fiction and non fanfiction in the world."

 

Our mutual friend had to hold me back as I lost my temper. 

 

Why is it impossible for asexuals to know or be interested in sex? Alright I know most asexuals fear the word sex or think it's nasty. I can agree with that when I think of sex scenes coming on tv and all but when I read about it there's no issue and I don't mind all smut I read but I'm not allowed to read it cause ...I'm .... asexual. Wut? 

 

What gets on my nerves even more is that I was talking to my bi friend and this guy came up and told us we don't know what we talking about. So I told him I know people who don't have the 'V' card anymore and the same girl, the hetero demi, says " I can't believe some people don't have morals and you know so many people from that side." (I go to a real Christian school and that's how she says people who don't save themselves for marriage." 

.... gurl at this rate nobodies gonna tell you anything with that attitude -_- 

 

Anyone with similar issues? Or am I alone on my little island in this way? YTzF6N_7C1SWQefOLY9nlNRjjnvvPWMn2Oev7Tj5

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I have seen plenty of people get the, "you can't be ace because of (insert something not stereotypically asexual)" not ever asexual is sex repulsed, some aces enjoy it or the idea of it, as long as you don't feel sexual attraction you are ace, simple as that, and there are plenty of people who think sex is fine outside of marriage and there are plenty who think it isn't, just depends on your point of view, religion and life experience, that's something that is different for everyone. 

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While you're not wrong, she has a point in that you're going to be fighting an uphill battle to get people to believe you if you pursue sexual content enough to the point where it's apparently something she knows you for.

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I'd like to meet your friend.

I read and write smut fanfic and I'm asexual as they come.

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RottenInDenmark

Same  *hug

nothing against your friend, but that is BS.  You can still be asexual and enjoy smutty heated fanfiction.

No one judges a sexual person for their kink search on weird porn. not that you should' judge them, but when they judge you for acts that have completely nothing to do with your sexuality or actions. I know an artist that draws kinky gay couples and dicks, does that make him gay? No. 

Not that these are good arguments, but i understand your frustrations. I like to believe that we are more' than what others see. Like there is a difference between being 'sex repulsed' and just indifferent about sex. 

people, can have hidden kinks or fetishes or just simple romance novels, that they enjoy in their own time as well. But that doesn't always determines their person, relationship, sexuality or ''actions in the bedroom''

 

in my way of enjoying fanfiction is in third person view that i look at characters (not me) and enjoy ''their'' story.  

Relateret billede

 

so i like to think i'm very platonic in my enjoyment of fanfiction. But even if i do imagine myself in those situations i know i wouldn't do smutty things in real life.  (That is not who i am really). and no i don't have a hidden wish for it to happen to me in real life.

I'm allowed to like whatever i  like' when it does not hurt anyone. - so are you :D  don't let them tell you otherwise

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No one judges a sexual person for their kink search on weird porn.

Sure they do.  Why do you think so many people keep that sort of thing to themselves?

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RottenInDenmark
28 minutes ago, Philip027 said:

Sure they do.  Why do you think so many people keep that sort of thing to themselves?

true, but then aren't we all in the same boat?  No one likes to be judged

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4 hours ago, Dean. said:

I have seen plenty of people get the, "you can't be ace because of (insert something not stereotypically asexual)" not ever asexual is sex repulsed, some aces enjoy it or the idea of it, as long as you don't feel sexual attraction you are ace, simple as that, and there are plenty of people who think sex is fine outside of marriage and there are plenty who think it isn't, just depends on your point of view, religion and life experience, that's something that is different for everyone. 

I'm Catholic, but if you have sex outside of marriage, or if you're not straight, I don't think you are a bad person or that you're going to hell. That's stupid.

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