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Anxiety, ranting and THIRD WHEEL!!!!


Tiggidou

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Sorry for ranting but I've been SO anxiety ridden and I'm still scared to tell folks at my school that I'm ace/aro and I'm literally trying to do my hw but all this anxiety is literally internally killing me and now I'm sitting in 3RD WHEEL situations and legit one of my friends at school decided to date AGAIN (yup, last year this friend dated and I felt like it was awkward that I didn't see her all day and I was so mad etc etc it felt like I had no idea if I was ace/aro or not idk...I'm ranting again) so I legit thought "well damn, at least I have friend who didn't leave me for some damn boy.....idk I'm ranting again, I'm terribly sorry. 

 

so yeah, I'm stuck with anxiety, 3rd wheel shenanigans and thinking I'm ace/aro when I know I am. 

 

anyway, my apologies, If i'm ranting I'm terribly sorry, like I said, I've been anxiety ridden, so yeah...

 

 

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Oof, I feel ya man. Honestly at this point I'm like... 7th wheeling. But there's only two of them it just literally feels like there's more. Idk if that makes any sense lol but yeah. As for school work I have a frickin concussion so I'm not allowed to do any of that crap which is kinda good but at the same time I'll have to catch up with it all later which sucks because I'm missing basically all my classes and well... it just sucks. And I get where you're coming from on the telling people thing. I don't really know what I'm doing with my lifeee!! Lol I can't even oml.

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You just gotta let the person have their romance time. *shrugs* It only gets super awkward when they talk about the other person ALL THE TIME and you don't really care, so you have to pretend you do . Learning to deal with friends getting romantic partners and finding something else to do with your tie is just kind of a staple of life at this point.

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2 minutes ago, spazzticsoda said:

You just gotta let the person have their romance time. *shrugs* It only gets super awkward when they talk about the other person ALL THE TIME and you don't really care, so you have to pretend you do . Learning to deal with friends getting romantic partners and finding something else to do with your tie is just kind of a staple of life at this point.

The problem is it's hard for me to care about the romance things because people have told me to try and say "Oh, I'm happy for you" but I have legit no idea what to say when people are around their "other" or when they talk about them constantly idk what to say because I don't relate and I would shrug my shoulders or say "oh"...

so yeah...that's what I have difficulty with.

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49 minutes ago, Tiggidou said:

The problem is it's hard for me to care about the romance things because people have told me to try and say "Oh, I'm happy for you" but I have legit no idea what to say when people are around their "other" or when they talk about them constantly idk what to say because I don't relate and I would shrug my shoulders or say "oh"...

so yeah...that's what I have difficulty with.

OHg yeah it's like trying to speak a foreign language. I have no clue. It got to the point that most of my friends would barely bring their bfs up to me because I think they realized I had no clue . They kind of picked up on it and moved on.

 

But generally just look at it as your friends having a hobby you are not into. Be happy for them when they are happy and be sad for them when they are sad,..That's all you can pretty much do. Now when they have a shitty bf , that's a whole other can of worms that sucks.....

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When my two main friends in HS got GFs, it was a bit disheartening for me too cause they got caught up with them for a while. It felt super weird being in a group with them cause my friends and I would always talk about video games and stuff and their GFs weren’t interested in it. Thankfully, that awkwardness ended because HS romances didn’t usually last long and the GFs were garbage anyway (verbally abusive, controlling, tried to alienate me from my friends, etc.).

 

Currently, my friends just kinda know I don’t really have any romantic plans or prospects so they don’t bring that stuff up much. So, while they still are occupied with stuff like that, at least I don’t have to make conversation about it. I’d just be depressing to talk romance with anyways cause most of the woes in my life pretty much spring from people’s failed relationships (divorced parents, tons of divorced relatives, etc.).

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I recently had the experience of being a third wheel myself, after many years! Having spent time with a young female colleague on the bus to and from work, three guys in her team all started getting the bus and vying for her attention. Being much older and with nothing to lose, I just excused myself from all their company , letting them know I'd rather not get mixed up in it (of course I didn't say it in such forthright terms, but there was an audible sigh of relief from the guys)....that's not to say  I've 'abandoned her to her fate'....she started getting a lift with her real boyfriend! :lol:

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SpaceDustbin

I still constantly feel betrayed when one of my previously single friends gets into a relationship :lol: especially in the early phases where they want to spend 100% of their time with their SO, and ditch you, but that usually sort of gets better over time. Even though it's not the same as before, so yeah, that's an ongoing struggle.

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MyOwnMercury

Dude, honestly same. I’m definitely not attracted to girls, but my friend, who is also ace, has a squish/crush on another one of our friends (she doesn’t know if it’s a crush or not yet), and I have (or had) a squish on the ace friend. Tonight was our dance, they went together, and I didn’t have a date, I kind of felt...I don’t know, jealous? Of the friend who is liked by the other one, because I find myself wondering, am I not good enough to solicit the same feelings? I feel guilty for feeling this way, but I do. What is it that I don’t have that she does? Maybe my squish is blinding me, but ugh idk. 

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