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What the heckie is a UPR?


Jax Nikara

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So, my significant other and I decided we didn’t particularly like the label QPR and made something called UPR, which stands for undefined platonic relationship. It’s just basically a QPR but... not. It’s weird. I guess it would simply vary from relationship to relationship. I don’t know. If you have any questions I’ll try to answer but no guarentees because this is brand new.

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I have never really understood the need for the term "queer platonic relationship". Why do people not just use the term "platonic relationship" without the word queer? 

 

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Fantastic Name
10 minutes ago, Ortac said:

I have never really understood the need for the term "queer platonic relationship". Why do people not just use the term "platonic relationship" without the word queer? 

Probably because a lot of QPRs involve aces and other sexual minorites.

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38 minutes ago, Fantastic Name said:

Probably because a lot of QPRs involve aces and other sexual minorites.

I was thinking that we could coin the term "APR" to mean Ace Platonic Relationship, but then I realised that APR is used in English to mean Annual Percentage Rate, so that probably wouldn't work. :(

 

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Now I'm thinking I want a DPR, "defined platonic relationship" 😂

 

But I like the term UPR, and if it works for you, that's great! 

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1 hour ago, arekathevampyre said:

but why undefined ? :)

Possibly a QPR was divided by zero.

 

If its the square root of a negative QPR then you have an imaginary platonic relationship

 

If the limits as you approach the QPR from the left and right are different, then the platonic relationship does not exist.

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3 hours ago, arekathevampyre said:

but why undefined ? :)

It’s undefined because I am not quite comfortable with labels as I can be very touchy with just friends. My significant other and I debated this until we decided this was a term I was comfortable enough with that I wouldn’t mess up the relationship.

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5 hours ago, Jax Nikara said:

If you have any questions I’ll try to answer but no guarentees because this is brand new.

What are the significant differences between a UPR and a regular friendship or QPR? :)

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banana monkey
5 hours ago, Ortac said:

I have never really understood the need for the term "queer platonic relationship". Why do people not just use the term "platonic relationship" without the word queer? 

 

so if I understand correctly the Q in QPR is not meant in the offensive sense or the sense most people use it. It is just meant as strange or peculiar (or maybe different?) so I'm guessing the Q was thought of as an indication that a QPR was something slightly different than a platonic relationship. I suppose because a friendship could be defined as a platonic relationship and a QPR is slightly different to that. I can understand why some people dont want their relationship to be defined as "strange or Peculiar" though particularly if they identify themselves with that sort of minority. I personally dont mind the term, in fact I quite like it. 

 

Any way, just my thoughts not saying I am correct as I know nothing of the history of QPRs

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4 hours ago, Serran said:

What are the significant differences between a UPR and a regular friendship or QPR? :)

A UPR is more up to definition for those in the relationship. It also isn’t quite as strict as I see a QPR which is what comforted me. It is different than a regular friendship because you are still together, you just more comfortable with that one person than anyone else. Kind of like a squish if you know what I mean.

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arekathevampyre
11 hours ago, Jax Nikara said:

It’s undefined because I am not quite comfortable with labels as I can be very touchy with just friends. My significant other and I debated this until we decided this was a term I was comfortable enough with that I wouldn’t mess up the relationship.

Oh interesting :)

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Yeah the 'Q' always made me wonder if it had to be between people of the same or a nonbinary gender. But right you could have one between opposite genders too? 

 

That's why I always saw the word 'Queer' in LGBTQ meaning 'not hetero-normative' which ace generally falls into.  Though I know non-ace people can have a QPR too.

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Is there such as a thing as a one sided QPR?

And how do you know if you are in a QPR?

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2 hours ago, imahappynothing said:

Is there such as a thing as a one sided QPR?

And how do you know if you are in a QPR?

uhmn...Not really ,even  if you feel much more intensely about the friendship than they do. Most of them I have heard of, it's mutual...You wouldn't really call someone your bf/gf if they didn't agree to be your boyfriend just because you have romantic feelings for them....so you can't really have a QPR without it being both parties, even if it's platonic...

 

A QPR feels like it's best friends on steroids. When you see one, you kind of just know that is what it is. Even sexual people can have them. Back in the olden days there was a thing called 'romantic friendship ' but we don't really have that term around anymore. You have to remember that men and women could often be much closer to a friend of the same sex than they were to their significant others. . We still have that happen ,of course, but culturally, at least in the West, now we emphasize the emotional bond between lovers as being the height of relationships....Probably just an attitude shift , QPR is a bit like that 'romantic friendship' , but I understand people wanting to take the romance connotations out of it.

 

You can google romantic friendship and there is a wiki on it: " A romantic friendship or passionate friendship is a very close but typically non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in the contemporary Western societies. " https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_friendship

 

 

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1 minute ago, spazzticsoda said:

uhmn....I guess it could be one sided if you feel much more intensely about the friendship than they do  ? but most of them I have heard , it's mutual...You wouldn't really call someone your bf is they didn't agree to be your boyfriend just because you have romantic feelings for you....so you can't really have a QPR without it being both parties even if it's platonic...

 

A QPR feels like it's best friends on steroids. When you see one, you kind of just know that is what it is. Even sexual people can have them. Back in the olden days there was a thing called 'romantic friendship ' but we don't really have that anymore. You have to remember that men and women could often be much closer to a friend of the same sex than they were to their significant others. . We still have that,of course, but culturally, at least in the West, now we emphasize the emotional bond between lovers as being the height of relationships....Probably just an attitude shift , QPR is a bit like that 'romantic friendship' , but I understand people wanting to take the romance connotations out of it.

 

You can google romantic friendship and there is a wiki on it: " A romantic friendship or passionate friendship is a very close but typically non-sexual relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in the contemporary Western societies. " https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romantic_friendship

 

 

I need one of those so much. 

Also, does anybody have an idea why I have more platonic physical contact with my guy friends? Maybe it's because they're really good pillows?

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1 minute ago, imahappynothing said:

I need one of those so much. 

Also, does anybody have an idea why I have more platonic physical contact with my guy friends? Maybe it's because they're really good pillows?

I'm wanting one really bad too. I had a pretty intense friendship when I was younger (people asked me if I was in love with her because I talked about her all the time, but I did that with this guy friend I had later on too). I tend to latch onto one person extensively.  But I want one that will be more permanent and we live together  : )  .

 

I honestly can't tell you why you do that more with guy friends. I always had closer contact with female friends because I knew it wouldn't be misinterpreted  or turned into something sexual. I do tease male friends a lot more though. People tend to react differently to the other gender, even if they don't mean to .

 

(Maybe you really just want to touch guys and aren't interested in touching girls- could it be a physical height type thing'.? Maybe the male friends you have are more open to touch than the female ones? )

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