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How are demisexuals or sapiosexuals classified under asexual?


anamikanon

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6 hours ago, Sally said:

Well, that just means sexual and not interested in those people, not asexual.  Sexuals don't feel sexual attraction to everyone.

I took it to mean that without someone in her life who's intelligent and with whom she feels a connection,  @anamikanon has no interest in sex and wouldn't feel its loss. Sexuals would still miss sex,  even if there was no one around they fancied. 

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I get where you're coming from, but I think it mostly has to do with the fact that for people who identify as demisexual there isn't any sexual attraction right away. Like there's a lot of emotion/romantic feelings involved before that stage, and since technically asexuals are thought of as having only romantic attraction, the fact that demisexuals have to have a very strong romantic/emotional attraction to someone before they experience sexual attraction for the person ties it into the field/range of asexuality. Of course this is simply my personal opinion, and I do get where you're coming from.

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15 minutes ago, Farin Fae said:

I get where you're coming from, but I think it mostly has to do with the fact that for people who identify as demisexual there isn't any sexual attraction right away. Like there's a lot of emotion/romantic feelings involved before that stage, and since technically asexuals are thought of as having only romantic attraction, the fact that demisexuals have to have a very strong romantic/emotional attraction to someone before they experience sexual attraction for the person ties it into the field/range of asexuality. Of course this is simply my personal opinion, and I do get where you're coming from.

Also for a person who is demisexual they could go a long time thinking they are asexual if they don’t find that person right away. And even afterwards, would still not feel sexual attraction for anyone else. It’s not like finding that connection with one person would open up a world of sexual potential for them. 

 

I am still ill not sure whether I am demiromantic asexual or demisexual, although I have a partner. I still feel out of place when my friends talk about hot guys and I just don’t get it. I think for demisexuals it can still effect their lives in a lot of ways.  

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The reason it gets classified that way is because they often can relate to an asexual's experience -- outside of those specific sorts of situations where their sexuality "activates" for lack of a better word, they feel effectively "asexual" because they aren't desiring sex or seeing anyone under a sexual light in the interim, and for many of these people the "interim" periods take up a greater proportion of their lives than their "activated" periods.

 

Doesn't make it *accurate* necessarily, as far as I'm concerned.  Being able to relate to someone's experiences doesn't necessarily put you in the same group as them.  But it DOES offer a potential bridge gap of understanding between the whole asexual and sexual groupings, which is worthwhile in its own right.

 

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Also for a person who is demisexual they could go a long time thinking they are asexual if they don’t find that person right away. And even afterwards, would still not feel sexual attraction for anyone else. It’s not like finding that connection with one person would open up a world of sexual potential for them. 

 

I am still ill not sure whether I am demiromantic asexual or demisexual, although I have a partner. I still feel out of place when my friends talk about hot guys and I just don’t get it. I think for demisexuals it can still effect their lives in a lot of ways. 

Yup.

 

I'm kinda in that same boat, myself.  And I've thought the same thing too, about there being no real "awakening" experience.

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I made a separate thread in the Hot Box to debate sapiosexual; I don't want to completely make this thread  about that, plus I wanted to add fictoromantic to that debate.

 

Anyway, the discussion that is interesting to me right now is the stuff about demisexual..I do know a demisexual person, and there are a few key differences: they crave a relationship with a person more, but they are also just more romantically inclined,. They develop a lot more crushes regularly.  This may just be because they are romantically-inclined; this seems more standard for demisexuals, because , as interesting as it would be, I haven't really heard of an aromantic demisexual.  This person hasn't really met 'their one' , but maybe they could see themselves developing sexual feelngs eventually for some of the people they have been interested in, I'm not sure.  Right now I am starting to think a certain segment of demisexuals are to asexual what agnostics are to atheism...Like they are just more generally open to the sexual attraction being there or happening eventually.

 

The case for demisexuals who have actually experienced some significant, sexual attraction , though is more tricky. I am agreeing with the people who say that their experiences are more in line with asexuals a large portion of the time; there is enough crossover...But sometimes I see someone  post about relationships here, talking about demisexuality, and  I do find myself scratching my head , wondering if they are really demisexual or not . I guess I assumed that even with sexual attraction, it would still be a more mild form ? The people who go from asexual to significantly sexual once in a relationship, I have a hard time wrapping my head around as part of asexuality. But maybe it's easier to think of them as grey-a.

 

There is an issue though, where it seems like some people think that sexual people are only into sexual characteristics and want to have sex regularly always, when they have their own fluctuations too.

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18 hours ago, lemon_lime said:

Also for a person who is demisexual they could go a long time thinking they are asexual if they don’t find that person right away. And even afterwards, would still not feel sexual attraction for anyone else. It’s not like finding that connection with one person would open up a world of sexual potential for them. 

 

I am still ill not sure whether I am demiromantic asexual or demisexual, although I have a partner. I still feel out of place when my friends talk about hot guys and I just don’t get it. I think for demisexuals it can still effect their lives in a lot of ways.  

Definitely, I think you've explained it perfectly. I relate to this so much, I thought I was Ace for so long but then I met this one person and it was so confusing for me because I didn't really feel attracted in that way to anyone else really. I don't know enough about the demiromantic field to help you out on that front, so I'm sorry about that. But you totally nailed the demisexual explanation part, so thank you for that!!

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1 hour ago, Farin Fae said:

Definitely, I think you've explained it perfectly. I relate to this so much, I thought I was Ace for so long but then I met this one person and it was so confusing for me because I didn't really feel attracted in that way to anyone else really. I don't know enough about the demiromantic field to help you out on that front, so I'm sorry about that. But you totally nailed the demisexual explanation part, so thank you for that!!

You are welcome, glad to help. I also just have the one person in my life, and there has been no one else. But I’m still confused about the definition of sexual attraction versus romantic. I don’t actually understand my feelings and reactions to him, so I cannot say for sure what it is. But that’s OK because I’m happy with where I am right now. So I don’t really need to nail it down. Although that would be nice. 

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