Hi! Just a couple small questions.

[Ginger74747]

Hi, my name is Jenn, and I just recently found out that I am asexual. I really wanted to know how you guys discovered these things for yourself, and what really made you sure that’s you were asexual. I know they’re odd questions, but I’m here to learn about others and myself.

[MissMidnight]

I was always hanging out with people 3 or so years older than me and due to situation was exposed to I suppose adult life when I was a kid.

I have no interest in sex, I saw the magazine, I saw sex in movies and hell heard about it alot.

At 13 hell I even had sex multiple times as an experiment and nothing.

Growing up Id be around people who would point someone out and comment how they were hot and howd theyd imagine them in bed.

I'd look at the same person and could comment if they were attractive or not but I had no sexual attraction. They were just people who had a nice style I liked was all.

Through highschool it was worse as thats almost all anyone talks about and I dated people when I was asked out if I had a remote interest and everytime it was never a sexual attraction. Dont get me wrong I was attracted to them just not that way, like one guy I was attracted to his music the way he was when he played and he was a nice guy we got along, we were friends but yea. I started trying to research what i was around 15-16 because I knew I wasnt the same and I knew that Straight, Bi, Gay, Lesbian and Pan just didnt seem to fit and they were the only ones I knew about at that time. When I found asexual on the internet it was like it just FIT. It made sense and what I read matched. I wish I found this site thing it would of be so helpful instead of just doing it all myself but thats sort of how I figured it out. Theres probably more examples I could give but my heads a mess and I cant think of them atm but I hope this helps.

[ben8884]

I guess for me it's just I never had any interest in sex. Someone mentioned Asexuality and I looked it up and thought it applied to me.

[Pulsewave]

One day an Asexual person appeared on a TV breakfast/morning show talking about Asexuality which I'd never even heard of before and immediately I knew it was me, was a life changing moment to realise I'm Ace and not a broken person and realising there are other people out there who are Ace too. After hearing what they had to say I delved more into it by Googling and eventually came here to Aven.

[Ginger74747]

4 minutes ago, MissMidnight said:

I was always hanging out with people 3 or so years older than me and due to situation was exposed to I suppose adult life when I was a kid.

I have no interest in sex, I saw the magazine, I saw sex in movies and hell heard about it alot.

At 13 hell I even had sex multiple times as an experiment and nothing.

Growing up Id be around people who would point someone out and comment how they were hot and howd theyd imagine them in bed.

I'd look at the same person and could comment if they were attractive or not but I had no sexual attraction. They were just people who had a nice style I liked was all.

Through highschool it was worse as thats almost all anyone talks about and I dated people when I was asked out if I had a remote interest and everytime it was never a sexual attraction. Dont get me wrong I was attracted to them just not that way, like one guy I was attracted to his music the way he was when he played and he was a nice guy we got along, we were friends but yea. I started trying to research what i was around 15-16 because I knew I wasnt the same and I knew that Straight, Bi, Gay, Lesbian and Pan just didnt seem to fit and they were the only ones I knew about at that time. When I found asexual on the internet it was like it just FIT. It made sense and what I read matched. I wish I found this site thing it would of be so helpful instead of just doing it all myself but thats sort of how I figured it out. Theres probably more examples I could give but my heads a mess and I cant think of them atm but I hope this helps.

Thank you so much for sharing with me, it means a lot to know that I’m not alone. 

[Zatarra]

Hello Jenn

lets see...I grew up abroad since my dad's job was posted in S/S.E Asia (far different culture and more conducive to being Aro-Ace) so I was never confronted with the reality of how different I was from other kids. I guess growing up in that culture me and my aceness so to speak flew under the radar. When we moved back stateside in 9th grade...that is when I became acutely aware of just how different I was from other kids. All the sex taking, intricacies of dating and hooking up,etc,etc...I didnt know what to make of myself.

My 1 or 2 real good friends in my new school would joke and sometimes half-seriously comment on how 'monk-like' I was. 

 

It was not until say 2007 when the Big Bang Theory was first on and the character "Sheldon Cooper". I could relate quite well to his complete lack of interest in sex. Then in one of the comment section I heard the word "Asexual" mentioned when they were trying to figure out his deal.

That is when I first came across that word not in a biological sense with (asexual reproduction) and starter to look into it and realized finally what I was. It was not until further research that I realized that I fit the "Aromantic" ace label.

[Lucas Monteiro]

I never really cared about sex, in fact the thought of doing it just occured one or two times because of social pressure, but I'm glad to say that I don't feel anymore more of this because of discovering asexuality. In High School while everyone were wanting to do sex or have relationships, I just couldn't compreheend why they would want such things, and I never really bothered me to think too much about those topics. As many other asexuals, I just never had the interest to have sex and for me today just seems that all signals were pointing to asexuality when at the time I couldn't understand or see what it was. I discovered about being asexual when reading a comment about a person who identified as asexual basically describring the same feelings as I had.

[confused lil bee]

I was first introduced to the idea of asexuality by a friend who started identifying as such. She experienced asexuality slightly differently to me though so I initially dismissed the idea that I could be ace.

Then a few years later I was talking to my younger sister about how I didn't understand why teens always wanted to go out and get laid and she just looked at me and said 'yeah because you're super asexual'. I was kind of offended at first but I did a little bit of introspection and my god, that lil shit knew me better than I did.  

So here I am!

[utca]

I started getting into advice columns and I was completely confused by questions about sexless marriages. I didn't understand why it was a big deal, and that's when I realized my indifference toward sex was not normal.

[Fantastic Name]

I've always known something was a little different about me. I was never "boy crazy" . I remember this one girl who I was somewhat friendly with when I was little. Literally half of everything she ever said to me was, "So-o-o... You see any cute boys yet?" It would drive me out of my mind because I never had an answer that satisfied her. However, I have a libido and I do (albeit very rarely) get crushes, so for a long time I assumed myself straight. I never really questioned it. I thought I was normal.

 

Two years ago, I found out about demisexuality through this article. I thought the term fit me pretty well, and after a couple hours of frantic Google searching and article reading, I started to call myself demi, and did for about a year or so. Even though asexuality cropped up a lot in those articles, it never really crossed my mind. I was aware of it and I knew a lot about it, but my mind never really caught on.

 

Then, one day, I was at a little get-together with a few friends when the the conversation suddenly derailed. They somehow all got talking about how hot Dean from Supernatural was on the turn of a dime. I had no idea what to say. Hell, what could I say?! Then, it hit: Everyone else is sexual except me. I had that epiphany. This was the moment when I began to seriously question my identity. Sure, I'd called myself demi before, but I didn't take it all that seriously at the time. But, this... This was unlike anything else. That single realization pretty much changed everything.

 

I read everything I could find about asexuality, wrote a bunch of crazy rants, and lurked AVEN (before I created my account) over the next couple of weeks. That questioning phase was pretty much a whole month and a half of feeling conflicted and awkward and lost and broken. There seemed to be this pressure from both myself and the ace community that I needed to "find your label" as soon as possible and stick with it.

 

Yet, I managed to get through it all in the end. Now, I'm very comfortable with my identity and I'm a better person for it!

[That_One_Ace]

i was honestly pretty lucky 2 of my friends were open aces and one is pan and they helped and supported me while i discover what i was

[soda59]

I have friends who didn't have sex until well into their 20s, and were never particularly 'boy crazy' either. So it wasn't really that odd to me to not be. The thing was probably when they started dating and I was just like the odd one out . I actually still read pretty sexual fanfiction as a teen and gushed over how great/ awesome certain anime characters were , and even had things for certain musicians/ movie characters,though more selective/specific  than most people I knew. (I was into Legolas and that guy from Sweeney Todd- the younger pretty one; Adam Lambert too. My friends would show me the guys they  like and I would be like ew why do you like him? ? ) I never desired to see anyone naked... but I was young , so maybe later?

 

I figured that I just didn't meet anyone because I was too awkward, but even when I got older and people started taking more of an interest in me , nothing really happened again. I thought about dating some nice guy I knew, but ultimately, I just knew i did not really want to.  I think this is when I kind of figured something was up , and it wasn't just me being awkward . I think I was about 19 when I found out about asexuality and I sort of put the label on , but then only very tentatively wore it , and still feel weird about it 7 years later. It's always looming in my head though .

 

 I did always get the 'why don't you date' , 'are you gay'? ' type of questions ...and I really just don't get the desire people have for each other. And they don't get why I don't want somebody to hold me and be with , etc.   I do want a good friend (I want a QPR at this point in my life) ...I just don't seem to have that 'drive' that other people do that makes them date. I sometimes feel like my real sexuality is just spread out and I can't grab it or something. Romance as a concept sounds appealing, but I never feel it ; people can be nice to look at, but I never want to touch them.  Sex is fun to read about , but I don't see the point in doing it. Etc.