Is there a word for...?

[Purple_Panda]

Is there a word for wanting to be both male and female at the same time?

 

I'm sorry that this is so similar to my genderfluid/nonbinary question, but I'm wondering if this is perhaps what I want. Not to lose any female abilities or traits, but to gain male ones as well. Thank you for all your help. 

[-----------------]

Maybe you're looking for the word bigender?

 

Google defenition would be:

"denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity encompasses two genders."

 

So like being both at the same time.

[Purple_Panda]

@RandomDolphin, thank you. I Found "bigender" after posting this. I'm still not sure if it fits though.  

[-----------------]

1 hour ago, Purple_Panda said:

I'm still not sure if it fits though.  

Don't worry. I tried a few labels before and they didn't really fit me. You don't even need one if you don't want one.

And if you do find one that you think fits you, it might take some time to get used to. That's totally normal.

 

(I speak from experience. I'm still getting used to how I identify.)

[Purple_Panda]

@RandomDolphin, thank you. 

[ReyGraves]

Androgyne? 

“Androgyne is a non-binary gender identity associated with androgyny. Androgynes have a gender which is simultaneously feminine and masculine, although not necessarily in equal amounts.”

 

Androgyny implies an ambiguity to gender but as it includes both so I thought I’d mention it. 

[Purple_Panda]

@ReyGraves, I don't think so. I'm not androgynous in appearance. Thank you though. 

[Taylor Lilith]

Androgynous isn't just an appearance.  Androgynous is usually viewed as the same thing as gender neutral and vicaversa.  Bigender and androgynous/gender neutral are sometimes used interchangeably as well.

In regards to what @RandomDolphin said, what part of the term, bigender, makes you unsure?

 

[Purple_Panda]

@TaylorWaffle, I feel like a girl most of the time, but then there are times I wish I was a boy. I wanted a packer, testosterone, and to wear "male" clothing even though clothing itself has no gender. Now I'm thinking I want to just have the characteristics of a male while also being female. But there are some days where I want my chest gone or feel like I'm missing a part "down there."

 

I know of the terms nonbinary and genderfluid, but they don't feel right. They're too broad I think. And I am afraid of choosing a label only to realize it's not right, because when I was about to graduate college, I told my mom that I thought I was transgender, and she said I wasn't, that I was just afraid of leaving college and the unknown afterwards. Then the feeling went away for awhile and came back a few months ago. The same thing happened when the therapist I just started seeing to figure out my gender issues said I sounded genderfluid. And now I'm here. 

 

I just don't know. 

[binary suns]

bigender, demigender, genderflux, androgynous, nonbinary.

[Purple_Panda]

@float on, thank you. 

[binary suns]

it's also perfectly okay for people to just dress and present themselves in the way they feel most comfortable, without a need for a label or being precisely true to their experience of gender. there's people who present feminine or masculine because they just feel comfortable that way, but don't entirely identify internally that way. 

 

 

I don't know how much info there is out there about it but the idea is basically... there is our internal identity experience, but then there is our social presentation or our stylistic expression of ourselves, and they actually tend to not match quite 100%... because most humans honestly would rather just walk around without bothering with looking presentable but for some people that "style myself up to look formal and social" extends to an internal nonbinary identity but with an external presentation that is more recognizable for most folk. 

[Purple_Panda]

@float on, thank you. 

[Zacharie]

androgyn (andro=man, gyne=woman)

[Purple_Panda]

@Zacharie, thank you. 

[Taylor Lilith]

@Purple panda I have a question for you. Do you "think" you are a boy or are you one?  A lot of being transgender comes down to that admission. Society would love to convince you that all you do is "think" or "identify" because it's easier for them. 

 

 

For me specifically when I leave a gender I forget what it's like to be it. What you just described is very clear body dysphoria. The fact that you can't remember it and can't give what you feel a name sounds very similar to me. Genderfluidity doesn't mean you're your ASAB infrequently. I've met fluid peeps that're they're ASAB 90% of the time. Whereas I've been mine for less than 10 hours of my entire life. 

 

~so~

 

Next time you feel this way say the following two sentences like you mean it,

 

"I am a girl, I am most definitely a woman"

 

~and~

 

"I am a boy, I am most definitely a man"

 

depending on how your body responds you'll get to the bottom of it. 

 

Switching between labels is a good way to find where your friends are. Your friends will support you finding yourself, your not-friends will tell you you're overlabeling. 

[Purple_Panda]

@TaylorWaffle, thank you. I'm sorry I took so long to answer. I got scared there was a right or wrong answer to your question, which I don't think I can answer yet. 

[Taylor Lilith]

@Purple panda the only person I hold accountable on speed in replying is myself.  No need to apologize.  I'm the only one required to operate on Taylor time.

 

You're right, genderfluid is incredibly broad.  I do, however, feel it may fit you.  There is no right or wrong answer to the question I gave.  It was rhetorical.  I think you are remembering other times you were another gender and it's one you don't, as of your last writing, possess.  It means you know it happened but you can't quantify it so you can't label it.  So you could wait until you have dysphoria to ask say those lines I gave you or you can do the following.

 

When I first realized I was not agender all of the time was when within a few moments I could not "trace the genesis of my actions".  I was doing definite behaviours I had absolutely no explanation for when I went back to agender.  My actions and reactions and emotions made absolutely no sense within a few moments and I was suddenly at a loss to explain why I did the actions I did.  So if you need to find a time that you were male perhaps looking into your past to find times you acted in a way you can't explain.  I have been male for probably less than 10 hours of my life but I'll explain to you how I found it.

 

It was dark and I was with my girlfriend at the time and this thing came bolting out of the gloom that we thought was a coyote or something.  My next action was one I could not place for over a decade.  I threw the woman behind me.  WIthin moments of this happening that action made absolutely zero sense.  It was natural and I had absolutely no idea why I did it.  When I am a dude I am maddeningly brave.  Stupidly so.  That kind of reaction in stressful circumstances is incredibly uncommon for me and I have been in similar circumstances before and after that.  This one takes the cake of "odd".  The gender "male" I made up was an asshole, however, I'm an awesome dude when I actually am one.  So try to think of a time you act differently than you do now.

 

Other than that, my recommendation is to wait until you get that very clear, cut-and-dry trans male dysphoria and say, "I am a woman, I am most definitely a woman" and see if you're uncomfortable.