RunningStrong Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 So I'm a married ace who enjoys the biology of sex, but I need to be in the right mental space for it. My husband and I are still in the VERY early stages of figuring out our new normal and what that looks like. Today, a couple of times he touched me in ways I an only describe as forward and sexual. Unfortunately I was very abrupt in telling him not to. In some ways it felt good but in other ways it felt really physically/mentally jarring. We were able to talk later tonight, and I was able to both apologize for my abrupt rebuffs and explain to him how I felt. I was able to tell him that when he touches me out of nowhere (or even if we're hugging and he gets a little handsy or whatever), it's like me trying to have a really REALLY deep conversation with him first thing in the morning before he has his first cup of coffee. He apologized profusely, and I promised I'd find a better way of communicating "hands off!" that isn't so sharp. We're also going to read "The Invisible Orientation" together (him on Kindle and me on audio). I hope that will help. Wish us luck! Link to post Share on other sites
bkrdragon94 Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I'm glad you're figuring it out! I admire that you both are putting in the effort to understand each other. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MadMamma Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 This! This is me and my husband exactly he settles for trying to make me laugh instead (he's a very funny man) in order to feel more connected. When he tries something I consider forward or sexual and he'll remember "nope, nope she doesn't like that" and instead of getting too upset he'll have me in stitches laughing Link to post Share on other sites
purplepassion Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Hello, @BlindBeader! You're blessed to have a husband who understands and does his part to make everything work Good luck on your marriage! Link to post Share on other sites
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