Shadow007 Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Okay, to give a bit of context: I'd heard this phrase being bandied about on another thread with a fun cartoon depiction that got a bunch of likes (wish I could remember which one, but I digress). Anyway, I was wondering how common this is - i.e have you heard of anyone doing this? I thought this was interesting enough to start its own thread and see what the general consensus on this phenomena would be. Stuff like: how likely do you think it would be for any of you to have one? If so, how would you want it to go? Do you think it could become a trend in the future: why or why not? Basically, I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity and start a discussion on it. Thanks in advance for your responses if you feel like posting any! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 It sounds like a lovely idea. Not everyone is interested in marriage but it would be nice for people wanting to have their special day and a platonic relationship can be just as special so why not?! Certainly, I would love to be a bride one day so I’m open to the idea of a platonic wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
MissMidnight Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I think its interesting. Originally before my currently relationship I was on the thought process of I'll just be single, live alone and get a pet. This idea however seems pretty interesting to me especially if I found someone else who was like minded to me and similar interests. Its basically marrying your best friend kind of deal and I like that. If people can marry for like a business deal with no attachments what so ever why not Platonic friends? Unfortunately I dont think it will become a trend as I think it will be hit with alot of nay sayers like gay marriage is still today. Hell driving around here there are still signs up saying "You can say NO" "Vote No" and crap like that, I hope its something that becomes popular for people though as I believe its a good thing. I'm kind of interested what the vows would be like now lol hmm... Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 While I'd rather not burn the money on the spectacle of a wedding, I know that my family would want me to if I ever got married, and I would be willing to marry a platonic partner. Pretty sure after extended cohabitation, it's fair to want to reap the tax benefits of a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Extroverted Introvert Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I absolutely love the idea of a platonic wedding. To me, weddings mean commitment. So if I were ever to be at the point in my life where I felt like making a life-long commitment to a platonic life partner, a wedding would be a meaningful and fun way to celebrate and share that with people I love. I don't know if it would necessarily become trendy simply because of how un-often I think they would still occur. But I think the idea could at least become trendy within the ace community. Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 Yesss. I mean as someone who probably won’t get married going though that expression of a bond sound awesome and even saying vows! I would love to show a friend how important they are to me. Link to post Share on other sites
dentedcanoe Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 never heard of anyone doing this but dude I would die for a platonic wife. Sleeping in separate beds but eating dinner together every night? Paying bills together + supporting each other emotionally? Yes please. Link to post Share on other sites
Raire Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 'Sounds like a good idea - where do I sign up? Seriously though, apart from the cost / faff of the ceremoney... ceremony itself (leaving that typo there as a Freudian Slip!), I'd be delighted to settle down with someone else platonically for long-term support and companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I don’t personally see the point of a platonic marriage. Marriage in my opinion is for people who have a relationship uniquely different to any other relationship they have with anyone else. The primary thing that is unique about a couple who got married to essentially their friend is that, they got married. The wedding day alone being what sets you apart, is not really something that I believe ‘cuts the mustard’. Thats my opinion but then again, if both parties want to, if both parties do so knowingly, let them get married. Its none of my business. Link to post Share on other sites
Extroverted Introvert Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 4 hours ago, James121 said: I don’t personally see the point of a platonic marriage. Marriage in my opinion is for people who have a relationship uniquely different to any other relationship they have with anyone else. In my mind, a queer platonic relationship is also uniquely different than any other relationship. It goes a bit deeper than the other relationships. And if the people do want to make a commitment, then I think a wedding would be a good celebration of that unique relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 1 hour ago, Extroverted Introvert said: It goes a bit deeper than the other relationships. I would think it’s just a different flavor ? Just how ppl perceive them? It’s just that romantic reaionships get more attention. It’s like chocolate ice cream. Link to post Share on other sites
purpleandgreylife Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I don't think this is a bad idea or that there's anything wrong with it. If people want to have a "platonic marriage" more power to them. Seriously. However, I don't see platonic marriage as different than any other type of marriage. Marriage is about legally making a long term commitment to a relationship. Whether the commitment is platonic, romantic, or something else doesn't change the strength of the commitment people are making. Also, unless the wedding invitations specifically said "platonic wedding," no one would know (unless they were told) and it would be a regular wedding. I doubt people would be asked to prove their romantic commitment to one another or anything. I personally have been thinking about long term commitment like this for a while. I have thought about getting a civil partnership/union because at this point in my life, I don't see myself getting married. Personally, I thought about it and realized I was more attracted to the idea of having a wedding than the fact that I would have a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
James121 Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Extroverted Introvert said: In my mind, a queer platonic relationship is also uniquely different than any other relationship. It goes a bit deeper than the other relationships. And if the people do want to make a commitment, then I think a wedding would be a good celebration of that unique relationship. I think it really depends on what the level of affection is. If there’s no sex, that’s fine, no sexual touching that’s fine, no kissing hmmm, no cuddling - hmmm. If it’s nothing, why marry? That’s just my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I know its not the point of the thread... (I'm pro platonic marriage!) - but aren't there places where a marriage isn't considered legal if its not consummated? I know you can annul one in the UK if it wasn't Link to post Share on other sites
Extroverted Introvert Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 9 minutes ago, MrJ said: I know its not the point of the thread... (I'm pro platonic marriage!) - but aren't there places where a marriage isn't considered legal if its not consummated? I know you can annul one in the UK if it wasn't I think there are several states in the US where you can divorce on the grounds of a failure to consummate. But I don't think that anyone is going to "check" to see that the marriage is consummated before it is legally recognized. Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 @Extroverted Introvert I'm just being pedantic , you wouldn't want that job though. Official consummation corroborator ... Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow007 Posted February 26, 2018 Author Share Posted February 26, 2018 These are some awesome points, guys. Thanks for responding! Link to post Share on other sites
:)(: Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 OHHH in Japan they have friend marriage! i saw this on gaycation Link to post Share on other sites
lemon_lime Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 If anything happened to my husband (which I don’t want to think about) or if we ever divorced (which I can’t imagine), I would want to remarry. I don’t want to be alone. But this time I would tell anyone I dated that I was asexual from the beginning, and hopefully find an Ace partner. No one has to know what does or does not go on in our bedroom. My current marriage was not consummated for 2 years, and no one in my life knows that. Nor would they need to know if it never was. Unless you’re already out and people think it’s weird but that’s their problem. I love the idea. Link to post Share on other sites
banana monkey Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 hmm, I think it depends on your views on marriage and also what you define as platonic. I think for me to have a platonic marriage, it would in fact have to be queerplatonic as it would have to be more than friendship. Some define, platonic as without sex in which case all asexual marriages would be platonic marriages. on another note, I know of many websites (prodominately catholic) where they have had marriages with Asexuals annuled on the grounds of non - consumation. It does happen, so people do go to the trouble of proving the not consumation. I think it is slightly easier than divorce? and obviously some people have strong reasons for these grounds to rather than trying to find other reasons for divorce and obviously believe this option is better than divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
GiraffeSpots Posted February 26, 2018 Share Posted February 26, 2018 I like the idea too, only issue would be I would not be capable of living with someone every day and not wanting to rip their head off. I think what I really want is just a qpp who sleeps over once or twice a week in the litteral sleep version of that phrase. While having someone to get rid of the spiders would be useful, I hate talking during meals and don't want to have to worry about what time in the morning I am singing show tunes at. What I really really want is a robot butler and a shedtonne of money. Link to post Share on other sites
SilentRose Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 I like the idea, but I'm very monogamous at the same time so it'd have to be that one special person as my platonic partner, and they would have to have no other partner besides me and vice versa. It couldn't be just a friend, it would have to be a best friend above all others. I don't like super ostentatious weddings because I think it's superficial...but I like the idea of before having a platonic partner to live with, doing a little ceremony where we give each other some symbol of our loyalty (like the usual wedding ring or something different) and...I guess yeah, just some kind of ceremony of sorts. Link to post Share on other sites
lemon_lime Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 7 minutes ago, SilentRose said: I like the idea, but I'm very monogamous at the same time so it'd have to be that one special person as my platonic partner, and they would have to have no other partner besides me and vice versa. It couldn't be just a friend, it would have to be a best friend above all others. I don't like super ostentatious weddings because I think it's superficial...but I like the idea of before having a platonic partner to live with, doing a little ceremony where we give each other some symbol of our loyalty (like the usual wedding ring or something different) and...I guess yeah, just some kind of ceremony of sorts. Sounds beautiful, honestly. That kind of relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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