We barely see each other :(

[Eva Blue]

I'm a demisexual girl who developed a crush on an asexual classmate, but we barely see each other!

 

We're in different programs, so i only ever see her in my 1 hr class on mondays. I'm just not all that sure how to get to know her, since we're both (unfortunately)  extremely awkward. haha

 

I've asked for help before, but the advice boiled down to 'get to know her.' Which i find is really hard when whenever we're together we just make awkward small talk. I'd be very happy to get some dating advice, since I'm so sh*t at it. Lol

[Chimeric]

3 minutes ago, Eva Blue said:

we just make awkward small talk.

That's where it starts! =)

 

Fun fact about being awkward - everyone is, the people who aren't are just pretending.  It feels for all the world like you're the most awkward person, but I can almost guarantee you I have you beat - it's just a matter of leveraging your awkward as part of your charm. It's doable, it just takes practice, and that practice involves copious amounts of being awkward. 

 

Are you more comfortable speaking over text message? Given that you know her identity as an asexual, surely you've had some sort of personal conversations in the past - you should ask her for her digits and see where that goes. =)

 

Maybe try to ask her to go places with you that are less pressure-inducing (and so, less likely to make you feel awkward - I know that cycle, where suddenly you feel awkward, and then you shut up, and then you realize how long it's been since anyone has said anything [a solid 3 seconds, but it feels like 15 hours], and then you feel even more awkward, and then the two of you try to speak at the same time, and then it's super awkward, and then you try to take a sip of water and also a deep breath simultaneously and then you're spitting water right in her face and gasping for air and then the rest of the date is completely erased from your memory, probably because your mind is desperate to protect itself).

 

Does your university host on-campus events that might be enjoyable while still giving you two the opportunity to focus on things other than each other? There's a lot to learn from snippets of conversation that you fit in around the thing that you're doing, and going to events together can be just as bonding as staring at each other from across a table in a coffee shop. 

 

Or, if you really want to capitalize on your charming awkwardness, could you take her bowling or to an arcade or something? Cus starting off a game with "I really suck at this, but it'll prolly still be fun" and then literally sinking every single bowling ball into the gutter is actually a lot of fun.  Plus it's also kind of adorable. Plus, if she's also extremely awkward, she's bound to feel more comfortable!

 

Or, do the two of you game? You could try picking up a game together. Online chat can help alleviate the awkwardness, as can sitting on a couch and screaming at the same nonsense occurring against your team in Super Smash Bros. 

 

Finally - totally own your awkwardness. I'm an awkward person (you gathered) and I find it really endearing when other people are kind of awkward, too, mostly because it's hugely relatable for me and also because I feel like if I put that positive energy out there, I'm bound to eventually find someone who finds my brand of awkward equally endearing (spoiler alert - I did, still unsure if it's the energy theory or not, but I'm sticking with it ).

 

Good luck! =)

[Eva Blue]

Thanks for the advice! It was actually really helpful. I remember the first time I went to her dorm and all I could think was 'I need to fart...RIGHT NOW' for about 30 mins 

 

There isn't a lot to do in our little backwater town, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Haha! I'll be sure to play up the charm when I see her tomorrow!  

[bkrdragon94]

Do you have any common interests? It doesn't have to be anything huge. I know it's awkward, but something like inviting her over to watch one of your favorite shows or play a game together can be a great way to get to know her beyond just the awkward small talk. My college roommate and I bonded over tea and Star Trek, and we've been fast friends ever since.

 

I've never done the whole romance thing, but I've found that the best way to start any relationship is to just introduce yourself and let the person know that you think they're pretty cool and that you'd like to be friends. Most people feel just as awkward taking initiative with someone as you do, but are happy to give it a try if you offer an opportunity. An invitation to hang with a group of friends (instead of just one-on-one) can work well too.