Purple Wanderer Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Hi, I would very much like other peoples opinion please! Here are two seemingly contradictory statements about myself - both true. 1. I find women attractive. Beyond the merely aesthetically pleasing line that many on this site relate too. She has curves in all the right places type deal! Which is why I've always thought I'm Heterosexual. 2. I have no desire to act on it. There's no no drive to have sex, I have in past partaken in sexual activity but invariably for a partners sake (and never very often as I put it off) Beyond simple gratification there's no enjoyment - I get bored/distracted during the act (thinking whats for dinner... what's on Telly later! etc etc) My pattern is... attractive girl, date. date... date. She gets annoyed frustrated that there's no sex. I... try to oblige her to keep things going which caused me stress from pressure! Break up. - then rinse and repeat. I always assumed I just had a looooow sex drive, even gone so far as to ask for medical advice. Recently admitted to myself that I don't actually enjoy or want sex I'd be more than happy without having to put myself through that (as per point 2) . So thinking I'm somewhere on the old Ace scale... but its my first point that causes me niggling doubt... Thoughts? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tasha the demi squirrel Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Go with what feels right for you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Monteiro Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Well, you somehow already described what many asexual people feel, the non desire to partake on sexual activity. There is many definitions for asexuality, but the two main of them are : Not having sexual attraction (what in your case, you seems to have or at least from what I understood from your post) and/or not having desire to have sex. But just like @Tasha27 said, go with what you feels it's right for you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Wanderer Posted February 25, 2018 Author Share Posted February 25, 2018 What would be very useful is if I could see sexual attraction through the eyes of someone who has this! Then I'd know if what I feel is just an aesthetic thing. What I do know. Is that no matter how attractive I find someone. I don't want to act on it. That to me says I'm ace. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ecogirl92 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 I am aesthetically attracted to people (actually I have a very specific aesthetic type) and those I am attracted to looks why's I would classify as "sexy" but the idea of actually having sex doesn't interest me and makes me a bit uncomfortable to think about. I think having the chance to see how sexual attraction is through a sexual person would clarify so much! As hard as it is for friends and family to understand what being asexual means, I don't truly understand what it's is to be sexual, so sometimes I have to ask myself, how do I really know that I'm not. Doubt is something I think many, if not most of us go through but, ultimately, If the ace label is what you think fits what you are feeling right now than it works for you. But sexuality is fluid and in the future, if you think you might be more demi/gray sexual or sexual, than that is fine. Just be true to your feelings as you feel them. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
soda59 Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 I have strong aesthetic attraction,but only to a very specific type mostly (androgynous, pretty masculine, handsome femininity I guess? ) . I don't desire to date them though or have sex with them. I just want to look at them and I do get the 'oh they are soooo dreammyy' feeling. So I understand what attraction is, but don't really get what it means to have the urge to act on it. (also the majority of people aren't aesthetically attractive to me at all because I don't really like overt masculinity or femininity). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lemon_lime Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 On 2/25/2018 at 9:46 AM, MrJ said: What would be very useful is if I could see sexual attraction through the eyes of someone who has this! Then I'd know if what I feel is just an aesthetic thing. Oh that would so help! The whole sexual attraction thing is an enigma to me too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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